I Never Knew Love
by Mercedes88
Summary: The ritual is over. Damon Salvatore is on his deathbed. And Elena Gilbert is about to discover the meaning of true love from an unexpected source.  Some spoilers from "As I Lay Dying" and S3 used and twisted to suit my own fantasies.
1. Chapter 1

**I Never Knew Love**

**Rating: K+**  
><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own anything Vampire Diaries, etc.<strong>  
><strong>Summary: The ritual is over. Damon Salvatore is on his deathbed. And Elena Gilbert is about to discover the meaning of true love from an unexpected source. (Some spoilers from "As I Lay Dying" and S3 used and twisted to suit my own fantasies.)<strong>

**Note: I've actually had this story idea for a while now, but the last handful of TVD eps really set it up quite well so I thought I'd just jump in and go with it. I'm adding a very specific character for a very specific reason and because of that there will be things from the show's cannon that will be 'changed' in this story.**

**So you know, I'm not new to fanfiction, but I am new to TVD fanfiction. Also, I am first and foremost a Damon fan, with strong Delena leanings. The only reason I 'lean' is because of Elena's attitude toward Damon most of time. She doesn't seem to really see or appreciate all of the changes he's gone through. So I do think Elena needs to wake up to a lot of things about Damon and love - real love - before they can really get together. He has some lessons to learn too for sure. This story is about that journey. So, let it begin!**

**I hope you give the story a read and I'd love to get feedback. The more feedback, the faster I write! :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

It had been an excruciatingly long day.

Month.

Year.

As still as death, Elena Gilbert lay on Stefan's bed, starting up at the ceiling.

Unable to sleep. Unable to cry. Unable to breathe.

Like a heavy weight, grief and despair sat in the center of her chest and pressed down, down and still further down until an agonizing numbness spread and took her over from the inside out, the outside in.

The hours at the wake had been a vague blur of black suits, perfume-laced kisses and tear-stained faces as neighbors and acquaintances came to pay their respects to an aunt they barely knew and, unknowingly, to a father she'd just found. Like a specter hovering over the living, she stood outside herself watching as a detached Elena went through the motions of shaking hands, smiling at the onslaught of faces pinched in pity and hearing - but not registering - their uttered condolences for a sorrow they couldn't even being to understand.

Flanked by Stefan and Bonnie, she'd managed to play the perfect hostess.

Barely.

As always Stefan was the perfect support. He hovered. He soothed. He said and did all the right things. There was only one stumble in his perfect performance as the perfect boyfriend. In a moment of solitude Stefan suggested that_ he_ might show if she would only give him a call. That prompted the only flash of real emotion since leaving the graveyard.

_"And why would I want _him_ here? He's the reason for all of this."_

Stefan's expression crumbled at that. And Elena, unwilling or unable to handle one more ounce of emotion that wasn't hers, pushed angrily past him like he was a stranger.

She didn't feel sorry for what she said, for what she felt. _He _bore the weight of the day on his shoulders because of his selfish, impulsive nature and inability to see anyone's reason but his own. Because of _him_, Jenna was dead. John had sacrificed himself. And she herself had almost...

She hated him in a way that was unnatural for a human to hate.

That hadn't stopped her from looking for him at the wake. Every time the door swung open her heavy heart would shiver with dreaded expectation. Each corner she turned, her glance unconsciously sought the dangerous shadows for his familiar frame. Even in her brief moments of solitude, she half-expected him to appear out of thin air, invading her space and daring her to take five minutes from her life.

A secret part of her knew she would have taken that dare.

Despite everything.

_Because _of everything.

But unlike _some _she understood her place. Her duty. The rituals that must be performed in a civil society.

Unlike _some_, she didn't have the luxury of walking away.

And even if she had, she could never be that selfish.

Now, hours later, the futility of it all washed over her.

How her heart was still beating, she didn't know.

And for a moment, she wished it wasn't. For a moment, she wished a rash action fueled by intense desperation had actually worked.

For a moment, she wished she _was_ a vampire.

She wanted to turn it off. To shut out the pain. To not feel this all consuming emptiness, this intense loss. Or the overwhelming emotions battling in the pit of her stomach for ultimate control. To go through the rest of eternity not caring that she was completely and utterly alone.

The way Damon Salvatore had.

Her scattered thoughts coalesced once more around the reckless vampire with piercing blue eyes. She hadn't seen him since they left the graveyard. Since they'd shared a glance that was full of every shattered thing between them and every shimmering thing that wasn't.

She hated herself for that look.

She hated herself for feeling the intensity of it. For its raw honesty. It's unspoken apology and undeniable bond. But most of all, she hated herself for wanting his vibrant, unsettling presence beside her, filling her up and taking her over.

For feeling anything Damon-related at all.

She hadn't seen him, yet he'd been with her every second. She didn't have it in her to reason out why his was the one face she searched for. Why that one act had kept her from having a full-blown mental break down. Or why his absence was the only thing she'd felt in the numb-filled wake of senseless deaths.

But it was.

And she couldn't deny it any longer.

Because as much as she didn't want to feel...

She _needed_ to feel.

She needed to run and scream and rail against everything Fate had brought her way. She needed to pound her fists against an unmovable wall and struggle against the darkness pressing in on her from every side. Most of all, she needed to scratch and claw her way back from death to life.

The sudden, intense desire blazed through her.

Bolting upright with a growl of frustration, Elena bounced off of Stefan's bed and turned toward the door, her determined steps taking her to the only place that was safe enough for her to rage.

Because despite it all...

_Because_ of it all...

She needed _him_ to feel.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: Wow, you guys are amazing! Thanks so very much for all the feedback. What a great finale - D/E wise, I couldn't have asked for more. The setting, the tone, the conversation, acting was pitch perfect. It was clear that Elena now knows, at least on some level, that she loves Damon. I hope that S3 will be about flushing that out, making their bond even stronger and finally for Damon to know she loves him too. :)**

**Anyway, on to the next chapter of INKL, which is admittedly short, but subsequent chapters will be a bit longer so I wanted to get the set up out of the way. Also, I'm going a completely different direction with the cure, etc. than the show did. So...shall we continue? :)**

**Remember: Feedback is VERY much appreciated. And, if you like the story...tell your friends! :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

"Damon! Damon Salvatore, you and I have unfinished business!"

Elena stormed into Damon's bedroom with fire in her eyes, a tirade on her lips...

And pulled up short in the doorway.

"Well..." A smooth, calculating voice noted Elena's demeanor. "...it looks like _someone's_ stoked the Petrova fire." A suggestive tilt of her lips betrayed her own past experience knowingly. Though in truth, for _her_, it had been the _other_ Salvatore brother.

Anger snapped to confusion in a heartbeat.

"Katherine." Elena's dark gaze switched from one intruder into Damon's haven to another. "Stefan? What are you two doing here? Where's Damon and..." As she took in the scene her eyes narrowed warily. "...why are you taking his things?"

Stefan and Katherine exchanged an uneasy glance. Stefan, of course, was the first to attempt an explanation.

He took a measured step forward. "Elena, there's something you need to..."

"Stefan," Katherine cut Stefan off. "We promised. And there's _somewhere_ you need to be right now."

"But..."

A pointed look and a curt shake of her head was all it took for Stefan to abandon his Elena-focused mission. Shoulders dropped in defeat as his silent nod indicated his agreement.

"Wait. What the hell is going on here?" Confusion melted into an intense wave of dread.

Elena advanced into Damon's room, her intuition kicking in and spinning out of control. Panic pulled the color from her face and caused her heart to spasm and stop, then roar with a relentless thud that thundered in her ears and raced through her veins. An instant knot formed in her stomach and tightened painfully as she voiced the only thing that, in that moment, really mattered to her.

"Where. Is. Damon?"

Katherine's icy gaze fixed on Elena. And saw more than she'd expected. More than one brother would have ever hoped for. More than one brother could stand.

A small, cruel smile touched her lips as an opportunity unfolded before her.

She tempered her glee and placed a commanding hand on Stefan's shoulder to gain his attention. "Go. I'll handle this."

Unsure, Stefan remained still. He knew how cruel Katherine could be when she put her mind to it. That she was involved in this at all was not his choice.

Clearly, Damon was losing it.

It was beyond him why, after everything she'd done to them, Damon had reached out her. Had secured her release from Rick's apartment. Had trusted her.

But he did. And, taking a cue from his older brother once more, Stefan trusted her too. That's why he was on his way to the only place that held the tiniest ounce of hope. He didn't know the details, and from Katherine's reticent to talk on the matter, he doubted he _wanted _to know. He'd only been given an address and a name and no choice but to follow her instructions to the letter.

To place his brother's life in her hands.

Still, that didn't mean he trusted her with the task of telling Elena news of this magnitude. "Katherine, please..."

"It's ok. I cared for him once, you know," Katherine soothed. "I know what she needs to hear." The doubt in Stefan's eyes prompted her to play on his guilty conscience. "We owe this to him, Stefan. It's either this or..."

She let the horrific thought of Damon's untimely demise dangle, knowing it would do the trick.

Stefan snapped into action. "I'm sorry, Elena, I have to go. Katherine will explain." He moved to stand in front of her, guilt and remorse etched in the planes of his face. Gently cupping her face in his hands, he gazed into her eyes, willing her to be strong. "Just...please remember, there _is_ hope...and _be_ the Elena I know."

With a quick brush of his lips against her forehead, he was gone leaving an agonized Elena to the mercy of Katarina Petrova, a vampire with no mercy to give.

tbc...


	3. Chapter 3

**Note: Thank you all for the feedback and interest in this story! I would respond to you individually if I could figure out how, but please know your comments are much appreciated.**

**A few things to remember in the this chapters:**

**1) It's only been about 2 days tops since the events of the ritual. Elena's been in shock and no one has really given her the details of what happened. Everyone's been concentrating on making a plausible cover up story for Jenna/John's deaths and arranging the funeral. She went from the hike to Klaus to the ritual and doesn't know all of the other events that were happening in the background, which is kinda skewing her POV right now. Also, I know everyone has their opinion on the rights/wrongs of how things happened and who did what with all the ritual stuff. Please keep in mind that what I have below is just one opinion and the one I'm going with for the purpose of this story. :)**

**2) Remember I said I would change some of cannon to fit this story? Well, it begins here in Damon and Katherine's back-story, so I hope things aren't too confusing because I'm only hinting at things right now.**

**3) Sorry so long. I had a lot to get in there. Hope you don't mind. :)**

**Thanks again for all the wonderful support. PLEASE let me know if you want to see me continue! Feedback is a great motivator! :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

"It's bad isn't? Whatever's going on." Elena jumpstarted the inquisition before Stefan made it halfway to the front door. Her rigid stance, the tight lines of her face were the most obvious signs of her inner panic. "Stefan would have never left me alone with you if it wasn't. And Damon..." She swallowed as if the words were too big and scary to say out loud.

"We have a..." Katherine answered in her cryptically honest way. "... grave situation on our hands."

The twisted words were not lost on Elena.

"Where. Is. Damon?"

Katerina Petrova had never been particularly maternal.

Perhaps that instinct had been ripped from her heart in the same way her own child was taken from her womb and cast into the unknown without a single loving touch. Perhaps, had the child been allowed to remain, in time she would have realized it just wasn't in her nature. Perhaps she'd always been selfish and always would be.

Perhaps not.

Whatever the reason, Katerina - now Katherine Pierce - had learned to look out for number one. With no exceptions. With no remorse. With no hesitation.

Until this afternoon.

Until she looked into Damon Salvatore's pleading eyes and felt something deep inside of her stir and come alive. It was the 'please' that did it. It reminded her so much of the first time she laid eyes on him.

In 1864.

He'd been desperate. Scared. Stubbornly determined.

Trying to hold on to a life.

His noble actions caught her attention that night just as his devilish smile and sweet, poetic devotion to another in the following weeks held her interest. That he wasn't looking at her didn't matter. That a beautiful outcast had somehow earned his sole, intense focus only made him all that more intriguing.

The resurging version of that Damon in the past few months left Katherine Pierce with no choice.

She would help him now, as she had helped him then.

Despite the consequences...

Katherine hadn't lied.

For what Stefan had to do, there was very little time. She, on the other hand, could take a few moments before returning to Damon's side. After all, he was safely locked up where she could hear him and Elena's unexpected interruption could prove to be enlightening.

On so many levels.

Damon had made her promise not to bring Elena into his suffering. It was a promise she made flippantly. Thoughtlessly. Considering that his every sporadic, rational thought since then had been only and always of Elena, Katherine knew that only her presence could give him the will to believe, to hope, to hang on.

Maybe, if it came to that, even some much needed peace as he took his last breath.

But only if Elena understood what was at stake. Only if her blinders were removed and she felt the truth of Damon's devotion. If she understood his heart. Only if she was strong enough to fight for what Damon would not.

Until there was no longer a reason to fight.

If she was going to let Elena Gilbert into Damon's last moments on this earth, she was going to make sure Elena was worthy of them.

Like a mother protecting her young.

After what she'd done to him in the past, it was the least she could do for him now.

Ignoring Elena's question, she launched an inquisition of her own.

In true Katherine Pierce fashion.

"Tell me, Elena...was your passionate rush to Damon's bedroom of an apocalyptic nature or did you want another taste of that delicious blood of his?"

Elena blinked in surprise. "How did you..."

Katherine shrugged nonchalantly then turned and headed to the stand next to Damon's bed where a worn copy of Gone With the Wind lay waiting for her attention. She gently pulled the book from it's resting place and placed it on the bed next to a few other items she'd already gathered.

"When he came to me for information before the ritual, he let it slip that you had vampire blood in your system. I assumed since you were hell bent on dying and he was hell bent on saving you..."

Elena watched with increasing agitation as Katherine continued to arrange the items on his bed as if going through a checklist in her mind. "What are you doing with his things?"

"Answer my question first."

A defiant chin rose. "What I came here to say is between Damon and me."

Katherine's tone was laced with droll humor, like she was laughing at a secret joke that only she knew. "Normally, I would agree except I just happen to be his gatekeeper at the moment. Which makes me your one and only chance to see him again. So, I'm afraid I'll need a better answer than that."

A tense moment of silence lingered.

Clearly Elena was weighing her options. Dance with the devil to gain the prize. Or strike out on her own and perhaps lose her chance forever.

Her gaze shifted back to the bed.

There were no clothes. No toiletries. Nothing that would indicated an intention to travel in that pile. Just things he must love. His book. A few old photos. All centered in an old scarf, once vibrant and bold, now faded like memories through the years.

Elena swallowed hard.

Something deep inside told her forever was on the line.

She made her decision and took a step onto the dance floor.

"Damon forced his blood on me. It was not my choice."

"No? But why not? After all, you were about to die. Damon just provided you a way to live forever...with Stefan." Katherine mocked knowingly, as a taunting smile curved her lips. "Or maybe that's the problem. Maybe Stefan isn't the brother you want an eternity with."

At that bold counter-step, Elena's dance faltered.

"You know what?" Stung by the meaning of Katherine's words and unsettled by the uncertainty of her own response, instant anger flare in Elena's eyes. "I'm not doing this with you. Just take what you need and get out of here. I'll find Damon on my own."

Elena spun to leave but was stopped by Katherine's challenging words.

"You're wrong about him, you know. Just like I was."

Arms crossed in front of her defensively, protectively, Elena turned back to Katherine with a heated glare. "Oh, really? And how is that?"

"I thought his emotions made him weak. In truth, they did. Back then. But now..." Katherine's curious brown eyes met their mirror image. "How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Turn him into a Salvatore I could love."

Elena blinked at that. "What?"

A discerning Katherine saw the wave of horror pass through Elena's eyes and instantly knew she'd struck emotional gold. "Oh, don't worry, Elena. I said I _could,_ not that I did. You know, for someone who professes not to love him..."

She chuckled and let her taunt dangle as she rounded the bed and headed toward a painting on the far wall. She swung the painting open to reveal a safe behind it. Quickly working the dial, she pulled the door open and carefully removed a few times before reversing the process all the while continuing her conversation.

"I do have to say, if the Damon I've seen in the past few months had been by my side 500 years ago, who knows? I might not have had to run all these years. And my life, all of our lives really, just might have been a whole lot different."

"Look, Katherine, I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but you need to stop," Elena challenged suddenly, protectively. "He's been through enough because of you."

"Because of me? Why? Because he loved me?" Katherine asked then answered from her own personal knowledge. "No, I think Damon has just now realized what real love is. And I must say, it looks good on him. On this Damon of yours."

"He's not mine." It was an instinctive response born of internal repetition. Given the way she was feeling, it sounded hollow even to her own ears. The knowing smirk on Katherine's lips sent an embarrassed flush to her cheeks. Elena quickly retreated to safe ground. "You know I love Stefan."

"Yes. I'm sure you do." Katherine seemingly conceded without a fight as she added the latest treasures to the pile on the bed. "But then again...do you even know what love is? And I'm not talking about candy hearts and rose petals. That kind of love is for the faint of heart."

"No, I'm talking about love the way it can really be." Her gaze shifted as if she were revisiting a distant past. As if she were taking it down from the cupboards of her memory and revisiting it, analyzing it and - uncharacteristically - cherishing it. "Brutal. Raw. Intense. _Real. _And because it's real, it's honest. So honest it hurts, it heals. Its what breaks you, purifies you. And dares you to kiss the flame that can turn you to ash then bids you, like a Phoenix, to rise and burn again."

The words were not entirely her own, but echoes of a voice from the past.

Elena shifted uncomfortably. Her lips tightened into a thin, unyielding line. She swallowed hard, remembering a conversation not two days before and a confession that resonated through her bones even now.

Had she known that kind of love? No. She'd been honest enough with Stefan to admit that. But would she recognize it if she ever saw it?

_Damon._

His face filled her mind and she instantly knew the answer to her own question. That what Katherine had described was summed up in one word, one name, one person...the realization made her shiver inside.

Katherine's discerning gaze settled on Elena. Her conclusion was obvious as she echoed Elena's inner thoughts. "No, you don't know, do you? I can see it in your eyes. But I do. I've _seen_ it. In Damon. In the way he fought for you. Sacrificed for you..."

Growing increasingly uncomfortable with the truth of Katherine's words, Elena turned the accusation around. It didn't help her case that a note of jealousy slipped through her words. "For me? How can you even say that? He spent a hundred and forty-five years searching for a way to be with _you_, Katherine..."

"And found you instead." Katherine's words were warm with conviction. "You know I'm right, Elena. You _feel_ it. Every time you're in a room alone together. The way he looks at you. The way you can't stop yourself from looking back..."

"Just...stop, ok?" A new wave of frustration surged through Elena. She couldn't honestly deny Katherine's words and yet, to acknowledge them would be the ultimate betrayal. "I don't know what any of this has to do with where he is."

"Oh, Elena. It has _everything_ to do with it." She switched gears so fast it made Elena's head spin. "I told you earlier that you were wrong about him. Do you know why?"

"If it means you'll take me to Damon..." Still defiant, still stubborn, Elena Gilbert stood her ground hoping, praying that this apparent exercise in manipulation wouldn't end in futility. "...go on. Enlighten me."

Katherine congratulated herself. The girl was properly tweaked, seriously riled and even more terrified than she was trying to let on.

Which was exactly where Katherine wanted her.

To get through to her, she needed to be unsettled. For her to hear what Katherine had to say, she needed to have her confidence shaken. Her doubts resurrected. Her certainties made uncertain.

Katherine heard the erratic rush of blood through Elena's veins, the uneven breathing she was desperately trying to control, and knew the time to strike was now.

"You blame him, don't you? For Jenna's death. For how things went down with Klaus. You shouldn't." Her frank gaze met Elena's. "Because despite everything you think, Damon did it right."

Elena looked incredulous. "You can't be serious. If I had a dollar for every time he screwed up..."

"Of course he screwed up, Elena. It's not like he had a blueprint to follow. He singlehandedly did what no one else has ever done, including me. He stood up to the biggest, meanest baddie of them all. An Original that most of us have the good sense to fear and run from. But not Damon. Not for you. No, for you he challenged centuries of power and dared curses to remain unbroken. For _you_, he risked everything."

"But I didn't _want_ him to." Instantly flushed with frustration, Elena shook her head in denial. She was so tired of having this discussion. She'd had it with Bonnie, with Stefan with Damon. With Damon again and again. Now having to defend herself to, of all people, Katherine Pierce, well it took her to a new low. "Fighting was pointless. If he'd just respected my wishes, if he'd just followed the plan..."

"Riiight. The one where you naively trusted an Original to kill his own brother. After you died, of course." Katherine paused for effect before landing a body blow. "How did that work out for you, by the way?"

"People died, Katherine..."

"Of course people died, Elena," Katherine promptly cut her off. "This is Klaus we're talking about. The most evil, sadistic vampire in the history of vampires. Wherever he goes, he leaves a trail of blood and bodies and tears behind. It was never going to be just you."

A dark eyebrow rose pointedly. "_That's_ what Damon knew. That's what his plan to use Bonnie would have avoided. But since you wouldn't let him go that route, he had to improvise, which he did. Quite well, if I may say so myself. And you know what? It just might have worked if Klaus hadn't been planning this for centuries and had taken into account every single possibility, including the two vampires that worship the ground you walk on."

"What do you mean?"

"One of them was going to come after him. It was just a matter of who."

"Damon." Elena concluded a new level of disbelief filling her heart.

"Damon." Katherine confirmed, then tweaked. "Some might say the one that loves you most."

"You can't possibly mean that..." Elena began to scoff at the words that hit too close to home.

Katherine stopped her from trying. "I was there, Elena. He burst into that apartment, confronted Klaus and offered up his own life like it was just another day at the office."

"He what?" The news didn't just shock her. It shook her to her very core.

Whatever anger had fueled her journey to his room dissolved in an instant. Whatever blame she'd already placed on his shoulders lifted. Whatever doubts she'd had about his feelings for her evaporated into thin air.

Whatever she thought she felt for him, turned itself on its head.

"You really don't know what happened, do you?" Surprised and yet _not_, Katherine quickly surmised the reason. "Of course not. Everyone has to protect their precious Elena. Even from the truth." A harsh chuckle turned into a heated glance of condemnation. "And _you_ let them. Word of advice. You really should work on that. You know, getting the whole story before jumping to some very big and very wrong conclusions."

"Go on." Elena prompted through gritted teeth. When Katherine smirked in response, Elena's demand became insistent. "I _said_...go on."

"Alright. Big picture recap. Moonstone. Vampire. Werewolf. Witch. Those were the elements needed for the ritual." She ticked off each item with a raised finger. "Klaus already had the moonstone. He had his witch. We all thought I was his vampire, so all he needed was a werewolf and you. You were hell bent on giving him what he wanted so Damon became hell bent on finding his werewolf. He came to me for information and...surprise, surprise...I wasn't Klaus' vampire any more."

"But if not you then..."

"It wasn't Jenna." Katherine informed in a sing-songy voice. Seeing the look of surprise in Elena's eyes Katherine prompted her further. "I keep hearing you're a smart girl. Think it through. Where could Klaus get a ready-made vampire and a werewolf on a night with a full moon?"

A light dawned in Elena's eyes. "Caroline."

"A friend of yours, no? As is Tyler Lockwood..."

"...the werewolf..."

"...that Damon saved." Katherine finished Elena's thought. "Klaus' witch was a casualty as well. All of which Damon took full responsibility for when he offered himself to Klaus on a silver platter." An obviously impressed Katherine shook her head at the futility of the move. "Stupidest, bravest, gutsiest thing I've ever seen."

"But if Damon was...then how did Jenna..."

"Damon was to be the replacement vampire, but there were...complications...and Klaus couldn't use him after all, so he needed a new victim." With a wave of her hands, Katherine ushered in Klaus' substitute. "Enter Aunt Jenna."

Elena turned away from Katherine and began to pace. Her mind was whirling. With questions she'd had but didn't have the strength to ask. With pieces of a puzzle that now made all the sense in the world. She sank down into a nearby chair and lowered her head as the weight of what she'd learned pressed down on her.

Events fell into an order that shifted the ground she stood on.

Stripped away all illusions.

And made the world she knew fall away.

"Katherine..." Elena's voice was mere whisper. "...what were the complications? You said Klaus couldn't use Damon." Her pleading gaze met Katherine's. "Please, no more games. I _need_ to know."

"Now, see that, that right there. That desperation you're feeling right now? Multiply that by a thousand and you _might_ begin to understand why Damon fed you his blood." Turning from Elena, Katherine began to wrap up Damon's things in the faded scarf. "Now you can discuss the right and wrong of it with him all you like, but being that he's on his deathbed...you might not want to waste the time."

"His..." A ripple of tears filled Elena's breathing and her heart rate accelerated to an alarming rate. "How?"

"In the middle of the rescue, Tyler bit him." Katherine turned to face Elena. What she saw softened even a heart as hard as hers. "He wants to end it, Elena. Before it gets too bad."

"No! No, he...he can't." Elena was out of her seat in an instant. "I won't let him!"

"What's this?" Katherine questioned, feeling the irony of the moment. "Are you willing to fight for his life? Against his own wishes, if need be? Knowing perhaps there is no hope?"

Unable to speak past the lump in her throat, Elena nodded mutely, dislodging a single tear that fell down her cheek.

"The truth then." Katherine approached Elena, her gaze penetrating to the heart of her double. "Were you wrong? Is Damon a Salvatore you could love, after all?" Seeing the answer in Elena's eyes, she didn't wait for a verbal confirmation, but gave her an easy out instead. "When you figure out the answer, give me a call. I'll be waiting."

Katherine swept by Elena with a smirk of triumph on her face. She made it to the door only to be stopped by one word.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes. He is."

Elena and Katherine turned to face each other, a new understanding weighting their gaze.

Katherine inclined her head toward the door. "Then come with me. He's calling for you."

tbc...

Note: Next up - Damon and Elena :)


	4. Chapter 4

**NOTE: Wow, you guys are wonderful! Thank you so much for all of your comments and support. Thanks to Tygee/Victoria, I think I've figured out how to respond directly to your individual comments so I'll try to get to all of you in the next few days.**

**Here's the Damon/Elena chapter. There's a bit of set up for the next chapter then it's all DE. I will warn you, it's pretty intense and emotional. Or at least it was for me when I was writing it! :) **

**One issue I had with the way the show wrote Elena was how willing she was to give up in the face of the Klaus threat. Though she is a strong character in her own way, I felt she was a bit too passive given what was at stake. She is not in this chapter. So, while it could be a little OOC for S2 Elena, I think given what she's gone through and given this is Damon, it's not so far out there you don't recognize her. At least I hope. :) **

**Happy reading! I hope you enjoy it and please, please, please let me know what you think!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

Katherine's hand was on the cellar door's lock when Elena's stopped her with a whispered question.

"How much pain is he in?"

Dropping her hand, she turned to face Elena. "Excruciating would be an understatement. He's trying not to let on, as per Damon's usual style, but it's gone beyond his control now."

Elena took the news in, swallowed the truth of it then asked another. "And the delusions? Have they started?"

Katherine nodded.

"He could easily confuse us."

"He already has," Katherine informed simply.

That heart melting moment earlier when he'd tried to apologize for all the wrongs he'd done to Elena came swiftly to mind. Katherine forcefully pushed it away and attempted to shut off her emotions. If she didn't, the next few hours would be longer and more difficult then they need be.

She almost felt for the girl standing in front of her who had no emotional switch to flip.

Mistaking the sudden questions for doubt, Katherine offered Elena a way out. "Look, if you don't want to do this..."

"No, that's not..." Elena took a steadying breath. Her chin rose defiantly, bravely. "I'm going in there and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

"But?"

"I need to do this alone."

A subtle but profound change had taken place in Elena Gilbert. From the panicked, unsettled girl of five minutes before, she was now the calm, strong young woman determined to single-handedly save the vampire that had single-handedly turned her world upside down.

Whether her motivation was entirely altruistic or born of emerging emotions she was as yet unable to name let alone embrace, wasn't quite clear. What was clear was her unshakeable resolve, her unbending will.

"I don't think so." As a hint of admiration filtered through her expression, Katherine smirked at the suggestion. "If he lives, I'm already dead for bringing you into this. I hate to think what he'd do to me if he were to hurt you because I left you alone with him. And that's not even taking into consideration your boyfriend's reaction when he finds out about all of this."

If bringing Stefan into the conversation was Katherine's way of dissuading Elena, it didn't work. Her focus remained unwavering. Her belief in Damon, strong.

"He won't hurt me."

"He isn't himself. You don't know what he'll do." Katherine reminded her. "No, it's together or not at all." Shaking her head, her decision brokered no argument.

Elena argued anyway.

"There are things that need to be said, Katherine. Things that need to stay just between us." Katherine was stubbornly unmoved. Elena tried a different tact. "If you want me to help him, you have to let me do it my way. And my way does not include the vampire that's promised to stake him when the time comes. We both go in that room and you'll be the crutch he doesn't need."

Surprised by Elena's quick deduction, Katherine's eyes narrowed. "How did you know?"

"Because I know Damon," Elena responded softly. "You already said he wanted to end it. He'd do it himself if he could, but since we're in the dead of night, the sun's of no use to him. And given how quickly he's seen this progress, he knows he may not be in the right frame of mind or have the strength to stake himself when he's ready. So, out of some twisted sense of irony, he turned to you."

Katherine was impressed. That the girl had put it all together so quickly was either evidence of the Petrova blood running through her veins or a tribute to the strong bond that had grown between Damon and Elena.

She'd been right to tell Stefan he was making a mistake letting Damon get too close.

She'd also been right that Elena was exactly what Damon needed in these final hours.

"But that still puts you in unnecessary danger."

Frustration sparked in her eyes as Elena sighed at the lameness of Katherine's argument. "I'm standing in a hallway arguing with my vampire boyfriend's vampire ex-girlfriend about saving his vampire brother's life after having come off of a face-to-face with a sadistic vampire that killed me. I'm well past unnecessary danger."

Katherine inclined her head in concession. "Point taken."

It was clear by Elena's reasoning and the fire in her eyes that Katherine had no hope to sway the girl. So, she quickly devised a compromise. "Alright. We both go in. Once I've determined you're relatively safe, I'll leave you alone to say what you need to say." A thought struck her. "Do you even know what that is?"

"With Damon its best to leave my options open." Elena quipped cryptically.

Understanding that better then Elena knew, Katherine nodded. "So?" Sensing Elena's hesitancy, she challenged her. "Come on, Elena. Be smart. You know I'm stronger than you. It's the only way you're going through that door."

Obviously displeased with her options, but more interested in getting to Damon, Elena nodded her consent before asking a question that could make or break everything. "Stefan said there was hope. Does that mean you know of a cure?"

"Yes. Maybe." Katherine glanced through the barred window at a restless Damon. Her sigh was full of defeat. "I don't know. That's what I sent Stefan to find out. If there is a cure, and I do stress _if,_ then there's only one person I know that could lead us to it."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter. All that matters now is helping Damon get through the next few hours until we know for sure."

"And then?"

It was more than just a question begging an answer. It was the blueprint from which Elena would take her cues.

"And then…we'll see." Katherine's hand returned to the lock on the door. "Are you ready for this?"

Elena nodded.

Staring into the cell Katherine paused one more moment for one more bit of advice. "Elena, I know Stefan said to be the Elena he knows. If you find she can't handle this, then please..." Producing a wooden stake practically from thin air, Katherine handed it to Elena. The unexpected plea in her eyes was as crystal clear as what she was offering. Protection. A fighting chance. And if it came to that, a final release. "...be the Elena Damon needs."

Elena stared at the stake.

Rejected everything it represented.

Then reached out and wrapped her fingers around a weapon she feared she would wield before the rising of the next sun.

* * *

><p>His mind was playing tricks on him.<p>

Fact, fiction, dreams, reality - they all blurred into one until he didn't know what was real, what wasn't.

Only one name punctured the whirlpool of distortions with a single light of clarity.

"Elena..."

Damon whispered her name as he put all of his energy into focusing on that one beautiful face. That one beautiful soul. He'd never see her again. He'd made sure of that. And yet, she was with him every conscious moment. Every rational thought. Every painful breath.

He groaned in agony and writhed on the make-shift cot that would be his death bed. Slumping wearily into the canvass, his thoughts ebbed and flowed, scattered and gathered. He didn't want to die. He wasn't ready to go. Not when there was still so much to tell her. So much he needed to say. To apologize for.

Yet the pain wracking his body left him little choice but to hope that death would find him soon.

_Katherine._

His thoughts spun in the direction of the woman he'd turned to for help. For release. It was ironic, really. The person he trusted least in the world would be the person he trusted last. But perhaps, it was only fitting. After all, she'd been the one to give him an eternity of living death. It was only right that she'd be the one to usher him from his deathbed into eternal life.

If there even was such a thing.

At least that was the argument he used to enlist her help. Surprisingly, she'd been harder to convince than he thought. He didn't have the strength or even the desire to reason out why.

No, his desire was for only one thing now: Elena's forgiveness.

But since he'd denied himself the chance of asking for it in person, he would never have the peace of knowing if he'd obtained it. A heavy price to pay, but one that he deserved. Perhaps it was his way of earning her forgiveness somehow. Or perhaps he was too afraid to know her answer. To see the distance in her eyes.

An eternity of penance couldn't begin to repair the damage he'd caused, the hurt he'd inflicted. But it wouldn't stop him from trying.

Even from the grave.

He'd told her as much in the letter he left on her bed.

It was the most selfish thing he'd ever done. He told her that too. It even eclipsed the night he confessed his love for her then took it away, the silent memory of which he would take with him as his only comfort.

By saying to her on paper what she deserved to hear in person then leaving her with no way to rail, to reject, to respond...

He was risking her hatred for that too.

But he knew Elena. He'd seen her heart. He'd felt her compassion, her gentle strength as she'd embraced him when everyone else guarded against the monster he'd become. And he knew she would be able to move on. Maybe even forgive. And if he was lucky, she just might spare a fond thought for him.

In time.

It was all he could hope for now.

And that hope alone would carry him to his grave.

_Damon._

Through the haze of his muddled thoughts, he heard a familiar voice calling to him. Through blurred vision he saw the outline of a figure rushing to his side. Just as a beloved face floated into view, his weary eyes drifted closed in what he hoped was the last time...

* * *

><p>Elena Gilbert had wanted to feel.<p>

Well, she felt now.

Everything, and all at once. The tsunami of emotions that hit her threatened to overwhelm her. Paralyze her. Bring her to her knees.

Anchored to the cot by a weariness that was bone-deep, Damon's breathing was shallow and ragged. The Army-green canvass beneath him was spotted with blood and soaked with the beads of perspiration that ran together and spilled over his exposed skin. An occasional moan escaped his parched lips, harsh and full of pain. All of that was nothing compared to the handsome features pinched in continuous, silent anguish.

Just inside the door, she closed her eyes against the sight, her hands clenched into to tightly-balled fists by her side.

Words from a few moments before echoed in her mind.

"_Stefan said be the Elena he knows..."_

A part of her, the part that allowed her to put one foot in front of the other even as the ground around her crumbled, began to push its way to the surface. Her ability to deny the truth of her feelings, to compartmentalize them, wrapped itself around her heart and insulated it from being crushed by their weight. A sort of functioning numbness took control.

Her focus shifted to the one responsible for the intense emotions threatening to rule her.

"Damon."

Rushing to his side, Elena fell to her knees.

"Damon?" She brushed her hand against his forehead, his cheek. In an eerily restless calm, he was muttering something she couldn't understand beyond a few sporadic words. "Damon, can you hear me? It's Elena."

He moaned in pain but nothing else.

"God, he's burning up." Elena glanced at Katherine, then around the room. Before she could make the obvious request, Katherine sped out of and back into the room to hand her a fresh bowl of water and a new rag.

She immediately began to gently press the cold cloth against his heated skin.

He began to stir. Blue eyes, dulled with pain, fluttered open then closed then struggled to open again. They held, half-closed, focusing on the beautiful face hovering so close to his.

It was a dream. It must be. Or one of those damn delusions coming back to haunt him.

Only in the center of a delusion could her dark eyes be so full of emotion. So wrecked with anguish and bright with unshed tears. Only in a dream could her touch be so gentle. So protective. So possessive.

Still, she felt real. More real than at any other time her face had invaded his mind. He could literally smell the sweetness of her skin, hear the rush of the blood in her veins, and feel the silkiness of her hair as it brushed against his skin. He shouldn't dare to hope she was really here. He shouldn't want her so close to danger. To death. To him.

But he did.

"Elena?"

Relief flood through her. Her gaze snapped up to meet his eyes and a brief but bright smile touched her lips. "Hi there. What do you think you're doing, huh? Trying to hide from me?" She wiped his face with the cool cloth and struggled not to let the emotions overwhelming her show too much. "Well, I found you, see? I'll always find you. You should know that by now."

"What...are you...doing here?"

"I heard you were having a rough day, so I came to be with you." Her lips trembled as she forced a smile. Her hands were in constant contact with some part of him. His face, his hands, his chest. "To take care of you. We're going to get through this, ok? I promise we will."

This was real. This was happening. She was here and she was holding out to him a hope he couldn't risk feeling. He wouldn't. Not now, when it was almost over. If there was ever a time that he couldn't bear to want something he'd never have, to hope when all hope was gone it was now, here, in this moment. He simply didn't have it in him to be strong any longer.

A harsh whisper filled the room. "Elena, no. Go, please. Don't want...hurt you..." He pulled in a shallow breath, an effort that wracked his entire body and morphed into a fierce coughing spell that added to the stains on the dingy canvass beneath him.

"Shhh, it's ok, you won't," Elena valiantly blinked tears from her eyes as she continued to wipe his face and wrap a comforting arm around his shoulder. "I'm not leaving, do you hear me? You're stuck with me till we find this amazing cure I've been hearing about."

"No use." He shook his head and tried to push her hand away. "Don't want you here...for this."

"Shh..."

He clawed at the sides of the cot as if trying to squeeze the fear and suffering out of him. To keep himself from breaking free and letting instincts take control. Even now, in the midst of his agony, he was trying to shield Elena from knowing the depths of his pain. And it was costing him greatly.

"Elena...go."

"No."

"I said..." Panic. Desperation. Fear. "...go!"

A flash of anger fueled his actions as he lashed out. While still weak, his second attempt to push her away had real strength behind it and he managed to knock her backward several feet. Katherine made a move to intervene, but Elena shook her head and waved her off.

_"Be the Elena Damon needs.."_

She didn't think. She didn't reason. She reacted.

Instinctively. Passionately. Stubbornly.

"No!" Instantly scrambling back to his side, she covered his hands and stilled them with one hand and turned his face toward her with the other. "Damon, look at me. Look at me!" She waited till his faltering gaze focused on her face. "The rules of the game have changed. You don't get what you want this time._ I_ do. So don't you _dare_ fight me right now. You. Won't. Win."

Feeling defeat in the face of her fierce determination, Damon sought help from another source.

"Katherine...Kath..." His pain-filled eyes swept the room till he found her hovering close on his other side. "Get her...out of here."

"Sorry, but no."

"What have…you done? You...promised."

"Yeah, well..." Filling his sight, she reached out and touched the side of his face, a gesture that was at once endearing and uncommon. "...you know how big I am on keeping those."

He groaned and fell back against the pillow, an unexpected chuckle rattled deep in his chest. "Should have...known."

"Oh, relax." Katherine chided gently. "She forced my hand when she came looking for you. Nothing else has changed. See?" As if to prove her point, she held up the bundle of treasures she'd been sent to gather. "All here. Just like you asked."

Damon reached for the bundle and sighed with relief when she gently placed it on his chest. His hand gripped the faded material.

"Elena..."

"I'm here," Caught up in the meaning of their exchange, Elena whispered absently.

He attempted one last time. "If you don't leave..."

"What are you going to do?" She challenged, feeling no real threat behind his words. "Kill me? Been there, done that. Or maybe turn me into a vampire? You tried that once, remember? It didn't work." She ignored the shudder the reminder brought to his face. "So what else you got, hot shot?"

The fight drained out of him. Despair took it's place. Eyes squeezed shut against the force of it, Damon's words were stilted and slow. "What are you trying to do? Torture me? Pity me? I know you're not here to...forgive me. I don't deserve that. Not after...everything I've done."

Elena and Katherine exchanged glances. His defiance had been short lived, evidence of just how far the poison invading his body had progressed. Elena's fierce stubbornness had been more than a match for him. By silent, mutual agreement, it was time. With a curt nod and a pointed finger at the door, Katherine exited leaving Elena alone to say her piece.

Once Elena was sure the door was closed, she turned back to Damon and scooted closer to him. As close as she possibly could without climbing inside of him. Aware that unwanted vampire ears were listening, her voice dropped to a whisper only Damon could hear as her tear-filled gaze settled on his face. "And what if I was here to forgive you? Would that make it easier for you? Would it help you die in peace?"

A jerky nod of his head dislodged a single tear that slipped out of the corner of his eye. "Yes."

She nearly crumbled at the sight.

But she didn't. There was too much at stake.

She was fighting for more than just Damon now.

She was fighting for them both.

Needing to feel connected in a way she never had before, she shifted till her forehead touched his temple. Her eyes squeezed shut with the effort it took to say the words needed to make him hold on. "Then you're right. I didn't come here to forgive you. And if you insist on dying today, I promise you...I never will."

"You...hate me that much?" The pain of the thought caught in his voice.

Her lips hovered above his ear. "I _need_ you that much."

"Please, don't." His hand released and flexed around hers in agitation. "Don't...give me a...reason...to fight this. Not when there's no cure."

"I don't accept that." She shook her head firmly, defiantly. "And I won't accept you giving up on yourself. Not you. Not now. Not ever."

"Elena..." The plea in his voice broke her heart.

"Listen to me," Slipping her hand over his, Elena entwined their fingers and sought his attention. "And listen good, because I'm only going to say this once. You, Damon Salvatore, do _not_ get to come into my life, turn it upside down, turn _me_ inside out, make me..." She broke off knowing such a confession once said could never be undone. "..._feel_ and then die on me. Do you understand? Who you are, what you mean to me...I won't allow it to be for nothing. I can't lose you, Damon. I _won't_."

Their gazes locked and held.

The intensity in her eyes, the ferocity in her voice set him free of her censure just as surely as her compassion and understanding had captured and held him prisoner to her heart. No one in his 160 plus years had ever wanted him to live so much. Had cared so deeply. No one had ever fought for him like this.

Knowing that stirred something deep inside of him.

The will to _really_ live. To be. To laugh and love and _feel_. Everything and nothing. The highs, the lows, the good, the bad.

To be human again.

Like a Phoenix from the ash, the humanity he'd burned and walked away from sparked to life and began to blaze. And it didn't hurt this time. It didn't fill him with dread. Or make him feel inadequate.

All because one beautifully stubborn 17-year old girl refused to let go.

Damon's free hand gravitated to her face. A single finger lightly traced the curve of her cheek and caught a tear that had slipped unbidden. "Why are you so stubborn?"

She covered his trembling hand with hers to hold it in place against her face. "Why are you?"

The questions went deeper than the words. Hidden in the unspoken between them was an understanding that went beyond everything they'd been through to everything that could be. It pierced through the pain, the anger, the desperation and unveiled a peace, a hope, a love that connected them in a profoundly fundamental way.

In that moment, they were one.

Damon was the first to admit it. "We are...more alike than either of us...want to admit."

"Yes," Elena nodded and smiled through her tears. "Yes, we are."

An unexpected bout of pain pulled him from his relative calm. As he twisted and turned, the veins in his neck were taut with the struggle and failure to keep a tortured growl inside. Instinctively tuned to Damon's agony and brave beyond her years, an instantly alert Elena climbed onto the cot and folded herself around him, wrapping her arms around his neck and cradling his head against her heart.

"Elena."

"I'm here."

"Elena...it hurts...so much. I don't know if I can..."

"Shhh, you can, Damon, I know you can. You are..." She caressed his face as she whispered the soothing words of encouragement. Her hold on him was death-tight. "...the strongest, bravest person I know."

"Not...strong enough."

"Yes, yes, you are," Tears filled her voice as it hovered just above his ear. "You can do anything your heart tells you to do. I'd stake my life on that. But it's ok, you know...if you need to rest. I'm right here and I'm not letting go. So just hold on to me and we'll get through this together, ok?"

He answered in actions instead of words. Seeking her hand and gaining it, he pulled it to his lips for a brief kiss then lowered it to his heart and covered it with his own. Elena fiercely blinked back the tears blurring her vision.

"I've done so much to hurt you." His voice was gravelly and low, evidence that he was fading fast. "I'm so sorry, Elena. For everything."

"Shhh, I know." Her arms tightened around him.

He tilted his head, seeking her gaze. "Forgive me. Please."

"On one condition." She whispered as she brushed her lips against his temple. "You live to see tomorrow."

She felt rather than saw his smile as he relaxed back into her embrace. "Promise?"

"Promise." She nodded and smiled in return. "Now close your eyes...and dream of something beautiful."

He nodded weakly as his eyes drifted closed. He pulled in a rattled breath and exhaled a truth he could no longer keep to himself.

His humanity demanded nothing less.

"I love you, Elena..."

Three words and her name.

Each one pulled at a string...

...and Elena Gilbert's restrained heart came undone.

tbc...

**P.S. I know I didn't really address SE AT ALL in this chapter and it was seriously skewed to DE. The focus for me here wasn't between SE/DE but Elena realizing how much Damon means to her and fighting to keep him alive. I don't think I had her do/say anything that would be considered 'cheating', but given the circumstances there's a raw honesty that manifests itself and will have consequences to SE that will have to be dealt with. Just not here. :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**Note: Ok, so I screwed up. Let me just get that out of the way now. :) If you received a notice for chapter 5, it's my fault. I posted a chapter in the wee, wee, wee hours of the morning when no one should be allowed to think, let alone me. I got a few reviews saying it was confusing and realized, it probably was because I didn't clarify some things. So, I pulled the chapter so I could make those modifications with the intention of reposting quickly. Then real life took over and I didn't get a chance. In the meantime, my little characters started poking me in the brain, doing their little sing-songey dance of "You should do it this way" and I succumbed, because really...it's their story. Anyway, I've reworked the order of some scenes so if you read the original chapter 5, you will see parts of it again, but reworked/repurposed. I posted in my eagerness to get to the larger plot, but I don't want to keep Damon hanging either so... **

**I am TRULY sorry. I've never done that before and promise to never do it again. And I hope as wonderful as you've all been to support and review the story, that you'll be just as wonderful and forgive my mistake. **

**Having said that, there are some things to remember about the story in general: **

**1) I had this idea long before the events of the finale. So technically, everything in the show leading up to the S2 finale has happened, i.e the ritual, etc. The ONLY thing in the finale that's happened in my story is the manifestation of Damon's bite and Elena being there for him. So, that means...Stefan has not turned himself over to Klaus (I'll let TVD do the ripper Stefan storyline), Elijah is not dead, etc, etc. **

**2) This chapter finally introduces the character I told you I created for a specific reason. It's only a brief intro, but there's definitely more to come.**

**3) It's ok if you're confused in the next few chapters. Damon will be confused. Elena will be confused. Katherine is really the only one that knows pretty much everything concerning this person's history with Damon. I won't take too long to reveal things because that's not the main plot, per se but I hope to reveal it in a way that makes sense with the natural flow of the overall story. **

**Clear as mud? Again, I apologize for the early post. And hope you will still support the story and review if you're enjoying it! Thank you all very much!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

Elena Gilbert was no stranger to death.

The past year alone had provided a steady drumbeat of loss, of sorrow. From the beloved parents of her heart to her favored Aunt Jenna to her despised parents-in-hiding, John and Isobel. Even childhood acquaintances like Vicky Donovan and nameless, countless others meant something to her sensitive soul.

Each death brought its own unique set of emotions. Each required of her yet another level of strength, most of which she didn't know she had. That each tragic exit from her life had been swift and unexpected was ironically merciful.

Especially now. Especially compared to this.

This was the first time she was facing the long slog of it. Head on. Dead in the eye. With unflinching resolve. Yes, she'd been there with Rose, but it wasn't the same. She barely knew the woman and, though sorry for her suffering, she didn't feel the intense connection to her that she did now in this moment of silence.

To Damon.

No, the strength required to face the death waiting for the man in her arms was altogether different and drawn from a well so deep it was staggering. The faith that demanded he come through unscathed was something she'd only read about. She had no idea what made her believe he would in the face of all the contradictory evidence. She only knew that there was a cure. There _had_ to be. Because deep inside of her, in that place where everything made sense, Damon Salvatore was alive.

And if he died now, nothing would ever make sense again.

She absently fingered the stake at her side. The worn wood was smooth against her hand. She wondered how many times it had been used. Had it been in self defense or aggressive action? Had it been raised in hate or love? Revenge or mercy?

She hadn't taken the stake for the reasons Katherine assumed. She never once believed she'd need protection against Damon. Even in a state of delirium he would never hurt her. In that, she would stake her life._ Was _staking her life.

Then there was the _other_ reason. The obvious one. She refused to believe that God, Fate, the Universe could be so cruel as to demand so much pain and suffering from one person. Or to require them to destroy something so alive and vibrant. To sever one person in two. And yes, that one person was her. She was fully aware of that now.

She was tied to him. He was tied to her.

If she ever raised a stake against him, she would be killing her own soul.

She didn't know what that meant for the future. How that one fact would change her life or the relationships she held dear. Or if she and Stefan could survive the revelations of this night. But she did know it was the one thing keeping her upright in an increasingly tilting world.

Despite Katherine's actions and her apparent concern for Damon, Elena did not trust her. She did not understand Katherine's motivation, nor did she try. Figuring out the inner workings of Katherine's twisted logic would zap much needed energy. Besides, she knew too well how a vampire could turn it all off and act on instinct. And that _that_ instinct was to hunt, to kill was no secret.

She had no doubt in her mind that if no cure were to be found, Katherine Pierce would try to fulfill her promise.

And Elena Gilbert would try to stop her.

_That_ is why she took the stake.

It was, at once, recklessly insane and calculatingly brave.

She leaned back against the cold stone wall and contemplated her decision as she fingered the stake that would be her only ally in the potential battle to come. Had Damon resisted her pleas and insisted on dying, her choice would be thousand times more difficult.

But, in the end, he hadn't.

He _wanted_ to live. He wanted it just as much as she needed him to.

Carelessly, her hand slipped.

She gasped in pain as the point of the stake lightly sliced through her palm...

...and she began to bleed.

* * *

><p>Katherine Pierce had no intention of breaking her word.<p>

That didn't mean she didn't hope they would find a cure. Or that she didn't dread the ringing of the phone informing her they had failed.

She did.

But in the end, it was Damon's wishes that mattered most. And if he wanted her to plunge the stake through his heart, she would.

Elena would be a problem, for sure.

The girl had been smart. She hadn't allowed what she to Damon to be heard. Still Katherine had eyes to see. And what she saw was at once beautiful and painful. While Katherine had needed Elena to help Damon hold on, she would cast her aside in a heartbeat if she tried to get in her way.

_If_ it came to that.

She'd have to think of a way to get Elena out of the room. Which, given her current position - holding on to Damon like _he_ was _her_ lifeline - was going to prove difficult.

The phone in her pocket vibrated.

The moment of truth had come.

She squared her shoulders preparing herself for the worst, pulled out her phone and answered.

"Stefan. Tell me you have good news. I _really_ don't want to kill your brother tonight."

* * *

><p>The smell of blood invaded his senses. Warm. Sweet. Intoxicating. His stomach churned with instant hunger and desperate need.<p>

He could feel the agonizing change come over him. His teeth elongated. The skin around his eyes began to tighten forcing veins to the translucent surface. His normally blue eyes turned blood red as he restlessly twisted and turned.

"Elena, no..."

Instantly alert and unaware of the change coming over him, Elena's hold on him tightened as she tried to comfort, to sooth. "Damon, what is it? What's wrong?"

A flash of red came into view as Elena, forgetting her injury, tried to gain his attention.

Damon recoiled instantly.

"Blood. Need...feed..." Voice hoarse and pained, he was panting with effort and struggling against some inner torment. "You...not hurt...no, no...NO!"

Everything happened so fast. There was no time to think, only to react.

With an inhuman roar and all the strength he could muster, Damon ripped himself out of Elena's arms, sprang from the cot, and bolted to the other side of the cellar unconsciously pushing a stunned Elena off balance. With only the wall holding him up, hands balled into tight fists at his side as Damon fought the urge to lunge at the only fresh flesh in sight. To feed as if his life depended on it.

Only one thought was coherent. Only one need drove his actions.

_Keep Elena safe. _

His frantic gaze swung around the room and he felt himself teeter on the edge and begin to lose control.

"NO!"

The door swung open unexpectedly and Katherine appeared. "What happened? What's going on?"

Spinning toward the door, his only means of escape, Damon blew through it sending shards of wood flying through the air. Katherine instantly sped after him.

"DAMON!" Elena dislodged herself and sprang from the cot, stake in hand. "DAMON, NO!"

She rushed into the now empty hall, spun toward the stairs leading upward, instinctively grabbed an item from the shelf and took off running. Up the stairs. Around the corner. Into the light.

The sight that greeted her when she skidded to a stop at the entrance of the great living room where she first laid eyes on Damon Salvatore made her heart stop and the blood in her veins run cold. Panic surged like a tidal wave and took her over.

"Katherine, no! Don't!"

One arm pinning a squirming Damon to the wall, Katherine reached for the stake in the belt at her waist. "Don't try to stop me, Elena. You are no match for me. This is what he wanted."

"No, no, you can't! He isn't capable of making a decision like this."

"That's why he made it before he got to this point," Katherine grunted through gritted teeth. Though weakened from the poison in his veins, Damon was still strong and it took some effort to hold him back.

"But the cure!"

"There. Is. No. Cure!" Katherine shouted back. "Stefan called. The lead was a bust. I'm sorry. I truly am."

The words were meant for both Elena and Damon as Katherine raised the stake, readying to plunge it into Damon's heart.

As for Damon, he no longer wore the face of a predator and had stopped struggling. The only thing holding him up now was the wall and Katherine's weight against him. His weary, tear-filled gaze was fixed on a point beyond Katherine. Over her shoulder. To the girl that had made his deadened heart come alive. "Elena...I'm so sorry..."

Elena didn't have time to contemplate what he was sorry for.

"Elena, you have ten seconds to get out of here." Katherine informed, giving her one last chance to say good-bye.

What Elena said instead shifted the balance of power.

"You move that stake one millimeter closer to him and I swear to God I will end you where you stand."

Calm. Deathly low. Fierce.

A shiver ran through Katherine. Surprised, she glanced over her shoulder to find Elena Gilbert within striking distance, pointing a crossbow in the general vicinity of her heart.

"You can't be serious."

"Try me." Elena challenged as she took aim, her finger on the trigger.

A new voice entered the conversation.

Soft. Steely. Controlled.

"You heard the girl. Drop the stake and step away from him."

Katherine's head snapped around at the new, but familiar voice coming from the entryway. If Elena's defiant stand hadn't stunned her enough, the sight that greeted would have.

A ghost from the distant past.

"You! But...I...I thought you were..."

"Dead?" The woman answered, her light flowing accent filtering through her words. "Sorry to disappoint." A dark eyebrow hitched as she stepped into the room, mirroring Elena's position. The crossbow in her hands was just as steady. Just as deadly.

"Now do what she said and move away. Damon Salvatore will _not_ be dying tonight."

tbc...


	6. Chapter 6

**Note: Again, thank you everyone for your wonderful feedback and support! You've been amazing! Here's the next part. You'll get a little more of the back story and there are some twists. Again, it's ok to be a bit confused. I will explain all. :)**

**Happy reading! Please let me know what you think!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

It took a lot to make Katherine Pierce speechless. Even more to make her afraid.

The woman standing in front of her did both.

There were certain ones in the supernatural world that were persons of note. The Originals. The Petrova doppelgangers. Ripper vampires, sainted vamps on veggie diets, and all-powerful witches - always in the middle, always choosing sides.

And then there was Liliana Consuela Castille.

A slip of girl whose gift for seeing visions of the future, once fully developed, would be unmatched.

In 1864, her star was only beginning to rise as rumors whispered through the dark corners of the underworld. As the latest in a string of legends, her identity was a carefully guarded secret. Only a select few knew her name. Even less what she looked like. Still, it was as if a collective breath was being held till her identity was revealed. Who would she be? Which side would she choose? Would she have an unbending iron will or the self-serving heart of a chameleon? Would she be a weapon of justice to those who sought it, or a tool in the hands of the highest bidder?

Another rumor had surfaced that added a level of intrigue, and fear, to the overall mystery. Klaus wanted her. With his team of witches, his army of vamps and an all-knowing Seer, he could have anything he wanted. _Be_ anything he wanted to be.

When Katherine met her in 1864, she'd been pliable and eager to please. Sweet, passionate and full of dreams, her heart had been taken over by her emotions. By love. Katherine had used that to her full advantage. She preyed on her desire to fit in. She manipulated her way into her inner circle, betrayed her friendship, then took from her the one thing that made her life complete.

That was before Katherine knew who Lily, as her friends called her, really was.

The last time Katherine saw her, she'd been a shattered shell of a person who had lost her reason to exist.

But not now.

The past 145 years had clarified her. Stripped away all of her illusions. And given her a purpose beyond herself.

If Lily was stepping out of the shadows to confront her in open defiance, it meant only one thing.

She'd found something...or someone...worth fighting for again.

It also meant a war was coming.

And Katherine, for one, did not want to be in the middle of it.

Katherine's eyes narrowed. "How did you even know he was in danger? The last I heard, you lost your gift for visions before what we all thought was your untimely demise."

"I have my sources." Lily quipped.

"Then you know it's too late for him. The werewolf bite is fatal. He _will_ die and there's nothing you or I can do to stop it."

"Speak for yourself." Her dark eyes flashed dangerously as she took another determined step closer. "Now step away."

Katherine weighed her choices, not that she had many. With two intensely determined women pointing deadly weapons at her, she readily gave up the fight. After all, Lily wouldn't have risked so much if there was no cure. Katherine was relieved. She'd never wanted Damon to die in the first place, and she'd certainly never wanted to be the one to kill him. After all, not everything in 1864 had been a complete lie.

"Elena," Eyes trained on Katherine's every movement, Lily addressed Elena for the first time. "It is Elena, is it not?"

Elena nodded mutely, her own gaze fixed on Damon. While intrigued by this newcomer and her relation to Katherine, they simply were not her concern. He was. And he was getting weaker by the moment.

"I've got this." As if reading her mind, she spoke to Elena's inner desire. "You get Damon."

Elena glanced from the woman standing in solidarity with her to Katherine, the woman that had opened her eyes to so many things. Their mirror eyes met. By silent agreement Katherine dropped the stake, Elena dropped the crossbow. As Katherine slowly released Damon then stepped sideways keeping an equal distance between her and stranger she knew too well, Damon leaned heavily against the wall. But it wasn't enough. His knees buckled and he dropped to the floor with a painful thud.

"Damon!" With a strangled cry, Elena bolted to his side, her entire focus on making him comfortable. Soothing him. Letting him know he wasn't alone. There was a vague awareness of the confrontation playing out only a few feet away.

Katherine's focus now shifted to self-preservation.

Hands held out in seeming surrender, Katherine addressed the woman with the wooden arrow pointed at her heart. "Lily, please believe me. I didn't want to do this, he asked me to. And I owed it him. _You_ know that better than anyone. Surely you can understand..."

"Oh, I understand all too well, Katherine. You have a gift. Everything you touch gets twisted and destroyed, no matter how innocent or how pure. You did it me. To Damon. And I'm sure to countless others..."

"So you're still holding that against me." Katherine stated the obvious, expecting nothing less. Especially since she didn't know the truth.

And what was it they said about the truth? That it would set you free.

Well, it was worth a shot.

"I have news for you, Lily. _I_ didn't do it. You see, I had a change of heart that day. The last time I saw him, I released him. He was no longer compelled and was free to go to you. To choose _life_ with _you_." She noted the surprise that passed through Lily's dark eyes. There was her opening. There was her ace in the hole. If she could keep her emotionally off balance, she could make it to her before the arrow could release. "But he didn't, did he?"

"You know, I almost feel sorry for you," Katherine's head tilted in contemplation. As her gaze raked over Lily, she practically purred her disdain for the emotions that made a vampire weak. They were the exact same that made humans strong. "You've waited all this time for him, and for what? He's in love with _her_ now. And after what I've seen him sacrifice just to keep her alive, you don't have a prayer. If he makes it through this, he will never choose you again."

Lily's lips tilted in a knowing smile. "I was never meant to be his choice. Only his salvation."

"And what does that make me?"

"The curse he has broken," Lily steadied the crossbow and took aim, her finger pressing down on the trigger. "Say good-bye, Katherine."

"Wait, wait." So her gambit failed. She was back to groveling. "I know you. You don't kill."

"I have, on occasion, made an exception. And this, Katherine..." The steely declaration sent shivers down Katherine's spine. "..._this_ is an occasion."

Panic began to build and Katherine cast around for anything that could stall the inevitable. That would give her a fighting chance. "No, no, you can't. I have information you need. And after centuries of searching for me, Klaus knows where I am. If you kill me, you're signing your own death warrant. The curse of the sun and the moon has been lifted and his power is unmatched. He _will_ find you."

"In that case..." Her lips tilted in a deadly smile. "...the reunion should be a blast."

Lily pulled the trigger. An arrow flew to its target. One gasp of surprise, one cry of pain then Katherine Pierce fell to the floor in a motionless heap.

Wasting no more time on someone that she'd decided years ago simply wasn't worth it, Lily rushed to Damon's side with a question on her lips. "How is he?"

"Not good at all. He's burning up, he's not breathing right. He's unconscious..." Running a shaky hand through her hair, Elena felt herself close to tears. To hold them back, she spared a glance in Katherine's direction expecting to see a decaying corpse. Instead, Katherine merely looked like she'd fallen asleep in an odd position. "Is she..."

"Dead? No." Lily answered curtly, unemotionally. "She will, however, wake up wishing she were."

For the first time since her appearance, Elena really focused on the stranger.

She was beautiful. Exquisite, even. With her dark hair pulled back into a bun at the nap of her neck, her glittering midnight eyes and exotic features, she was the very picture of a poised Spanish dancer Elena had seen once in a storybook. The hint of a dimple in her delicate chin and the freckles playfully dotting her nose and cheeks lent a girlish, approachable aura to an otherwise ethereal creature. Her gaze was warm and full of emotion as a graceful hand traced the lines of Damon's face. As if he were a priceless treasure once lost, now found.

All of this was in direct contrast to the cold and calculated actions of a few moments before.

"Why did you shoot her? She let him go."

Elena's question snapped a momentarily dazed Lily's attention back to the present. She took a deep breath and willed herself to focus on her task. After all, it was for moments like these that she had been born. And there was plenty of time to feel all she was meant to feel.

Once Damon had been saved.

Lily answered Elena as she quickly began to assess Damon's condition. "Balance of power. She didn't believe I would. Now she will always know I can...and I will."

A sudden movement across the room captured Elena's attention. She gasped in surprise as Elijah suddenly appeared out of the blue. He stood over Katherine, a hint of satisfaction etched in his expression.

"Elijah?"

At the sound of his name, Elijah stepped over Katherine like she was a forgotten piece of trash and headed in their direction.

Elena instinctively gathered Damon closer to her protectively. Eyes fixed on her, but not saying a word to Elena, Elijah reached into his coat pocket and handed a bottle to the other woman kneeling by Damon's side. "As agreed. When you are finished, I will be waiting."

She took the bottle and silently nodded as their eyes locked in understanding.

Elijah turned his attention to Elena. "My sincere apologies. For everything."

In the next heartbeat both Elijah and Katherine were gone.

"This is too far gone." Lily's pronouncement brought Elena's attention back to Damon. Her dark eyes captured her with a question. "What are you willing to do to save his life?"

"What?"

"For Damon. What are you willing to do?" Lily repeated the question upon which everything hinged.

The answer resonated through Elena and she answered without hesitation. Without thinking. Without regret.

"Anything."

"Good. He needs both of us now." Indicating the nasty wound on his arm that had turned the skin on his arm, his shoulder, his chest into a mixture of black and blue and sickly green, she began to explain the seriousness of their situation. "The wound has spread too far and the poison has nearly taken him over. I cannot heal him until we stop it's progression."

"So, there is a cure."

"For Damon, yes." The intensity in her dark eyes made Elena's heart stop. "But _you_ have to trust me."

"Trust you? I don't even know you."

"My name is Liliana Castille, but you can call me Lily. And all you need to know right now is that I am sworn to protect Damon with my life. And that includes those he loves." She reached over and placed a warm hand over Elena's, the plea in her eyes was one of the truest things Elena had ever seen. "You are both safe in my hands."

"But you're working with Elijah..."

"Its too complicated for this moment, Elena. I know he betrayed you. This was his first step in trying to make it right." She held up the bottle that Elijah had given her. "He was keeping it safe unless things with Katherine got...messy."

"What is it?"

"It's a rare potion that, under normal circumstances, would perhaps heal Damon. But at this advanced stage, it will only serve to stop the poison from spreading. Kind of like a...a neutralizer or a block."

"And then?"

"That's where you come in. But I must warn you, if you do this, I promise, it will change your life forever."

"My life has already changed forever." Elena whispered, her fingers unconsciously lacing through Damon's, as if seeking his strength.

"Not like this." Lily corrected softly. "Everything you know, everything you believe, what you feel...it will all disappear. And in its place will be a truth that is both brutal and pure."

Knowing the intensely heavy weight she was placing on Elena's young, slender shoulders, Lily sought to lay out her options. Damon, of all people, would want nothing less. "Listen to me. As much as I hate to admit it, Katherine was right. Damon was prepared to die tonight. If you decide you don't want to do this, no one will blame you. Especially him." Her straightforward gaze only served to underscore the seriousness of the moment. "It's your choice, Elena. Either way, you need to make it quickly."

Elena's gaze lowered to Damon's face. Tears instantly blurred her vision. Everything she felt, all that she'd realized spun together and came to a screeching halt in one crystal moment of clarity. Her fingers gravitated toward his face. When skin touched skin, she felt something solidify inside of her.

"It's Damon. There is no choice." Her whisper shimmered through the silence. She quickly blinked away the tears, squared her shoulders and prepared to face the unknown. She looked to Lily for direction. "What do I have to do?"

Amazed, but not surprised by Elena's strength or her choice, Lily nodded her head with an understanding that instantly bonded them. "Once I give him the potion, let him drink your blood." She began to uncap the bottle before adding one last command. She glanced up at Elena, capturing her gaze.

"And don't stop...until I say."

* * *

><p>The blade sliced through her skin and the blood surged toward the open wound.<p>

Elena moved her wrist to hover over Damon's lips.

A newly revived Damon shook his head and wearily tried to push her arm away. "Elena, no."

"Shhh, it's ok. I want you to." She smiled down at him encouragingly.

"But..."

A finger against his lips stilled his protest. "_Please_, Damon. I need you to."

Eyes locked on hers, Damon slowly wrapped one hand around her forearm and linked his fingers through hers with the other. Together they lowered her wrist to his lips.

One last moment of doubt.

One last nod of permission.

Damon sank his teeth into her flesh.

For an instant, there was a sharp sting.

And then came the sweetest release Elena Gilbert had ever known.

tbc...

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><p><strong>P.S. So, if you're interested in the 'model' I'm using for Lily, check out pics of Mia Maestro. I loved her in Alias and thought she'd be perfect for this character. You know...in case I don't describe her right. :)<strong>

**Again, let me know what you think! Feedback helps me write faster! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Note: Wow! I am bowled over by your reviews and support of this story! You all are so awesome! I'm sorry this took so long to get to you. My allergies have been wreaking havoc with me and English doesn't always cooperate when that happens! **

**Anyway, nothing really to explain here except that I've seriously lost track of whether Elena has been drinking vervain or not so, I kinda left it up in the air. Oh, and I'm not fan of Stefan's so while I will try not to completely bash him/turn him evil, he's not getting off easy with me. :)**

**Hope you enjoy! Happy reading and I'd LOVE to hear what you think! And I promise I'll try to get back to each of you! :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

It was not the first time that a vampire had tasted her blood. But it was certainly the first time Elena hoped it wouldn't be the last.

As Damon's viciously gentle assault continued, Elena felt herself going under. Vibrant colors spun and swirled together like a kaleidoscope then exploded behind her eyes, igniting sparks of fire that threatened to scorch her. She welcomed the flames. Every nerve pulsed with electric energy while a languid daze demolished her like a tidal wave. It felt like she was floating. Soaring, even. She was so light. As light as a feather. Or a whisper spoken at his command.

Damon felt himself come alive. As the intoxicating nectar slipped down his throat, entered his system and spread, the cells in his body began to agitate, shift and push against each other, eagerly lining up to meet their corresponding match from a body that wasn't his own. The sweetest, slowest burn swept through him ravaging the remainder of walls he'd hidden behind for years. Walls that she had pierced with a look. Exposing him. Destroying him. Making him so translucent she could see right through him.

The more he drank, the more she was pulled into him. The more he crashed into her. The lines between them began to tilt and blur then fade till nothing remained.

Nothing, but two shimmering flames.

For a moment, they stood still, facing each other. Naked, raw emotion whipped around them as a shimmering cord, as delicate as gossamer and as strong as a steel, extended from one heart to the other.

And then, it was all gone.

His lips were no longer on her wrist. His teeth no longer in her veins. The intense connection was brutally severed and Elena cried out at the loss of it as Damon moaned her name. Instinctively reaching out to him, Elena found his hand waiting for her. Her eyes fluttered opened. His shallow breathing sharpened and he swung his gaze in her direction.

Intense blue met the warmest brown.

And an entirely new kind of connection was forged.

A wave of dizziness overwhelmed Elena and she felt herself fading fast. As darkness pressed in around her and her eyes drifted closed, the last thing she heard was a familiar voice in the distance calling her name. The last thing she saw was a moment she was never supposed to remember...

_"I just have to say something."_

"_Why do you have to say it with my necklace?"_

_He took a step closer his gaze shifting as he sought the truth. "Because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life."_

_"Damon, don't go there."_

_"I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it." He paused as if waiting for her protest. When none came, he proceeded, his voice soft and sincere. "I love you, Elena. And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this. I don't deserve you, but my brother does." _

_Gentle lips brushed against her forehead and when he pulled back his usually blue eyes were haunted with a bittersweet sadness that caused the air in her lungs to freeze. He brushed a lock of hair back behind her ear, the gesture at once tender and possessive. "God I wish you didn't have to forget this. But you do..."_

* * *

><p>Time is a funny thing. It can divide emotions like the Red Sea, creating a path from imprisonment to freedom. Make you numb with sorrow or ecstatic with joy. In a moment, precious treasures can be lost…or found. Time can be the difference between despair and hope. Love and hate. Torture or peace. It can change a heart. Start a life. Destroy a dream. One minute can be over in a heartbeat. Or it can last an eternity.<p>

Liliana Castille had run out of eternities.

She'd been by his bedside for only half an hour.

Thirty minutes in a lifetime. It didn't seem enough. It wasn't. It never would be. Not when staring into the face of the only person in the world that had ever made her feel alive. The only person that had known her, had accepted her, so completely and without reservation that she was left with no choice but to accept herself. The one person she had sacrificed her happiness for.

Once upon a time.

Sitting there as sleep renewed his strength, Lily was grateful for the dreams she'd been having for the past several months. As painful as some had been, as much as she'd cursed them, she had also welcomed them. They had prepared her to see him again. To hold his hand. To be who she had to be and do what she had to do.

To touch his face and remember.

Remembering had never really been an issue with her. He'd been the constant companion to her thoughts for well over a century. The ways he'd made her laugh. How he'd been her strength, her clarity. How he'd coaxed her into love.

No, remembering wasn't the problem. Forgetting was. She'd tried, but he never really went away. She hid, but every corner she turned, he was there. She let go, but he defiantly refused to release her. It was part of her burden, part of her joy.

Still, memories simply can't compare to flesh and blood. Breath and bone. And a heart that would beat for an eternity.

In the years since their separation, this was the third time she'd come to his rescue. It was the second she'd been in his presence. And only the first that she'd been close enough to touch him.

The impact was just as devastating, just as lasting as the first time over 145 years ago.

He began to stir. Lily instantly released the hand she'd been caressing, stood, walked to the window and brushed away an errant tear. By turning her back to him, by focusing on the world outside this room that he called his, she put as much physical space between them as she could and embraced the emotional distance needed to maintain her composure.

"Elena?"

Lily's smile was bittersweet as her fingers nervously toyed with the curtains at his window. It was only right that his first thoughts were of her. That his first word was her name.

His blue eyes slowly opened and he glanced around him, trying to get his bearings. It didn't take long. He sat upright in bed, his voice urgent and fearful.

"Elena. Where is she? Did I...is she..."

"Elena's fine. A little tired, but fine." Lily answered reassuringly. Her gaze hardened but she kept her voice light as to not betray her thoughts about the current state of Elena's love life. "She's with your brother taking advantage of a well-earned rest. She's had quite a busy day."

The relief that washed over him was not only mental and emotional, but physical as well. Damon relaxed back against the pillows, let the news sink in and shook his head hoping the fog that was still clouding his mind would dissipate. To say the past several hours were a blur would have been an understatement.

He couldn't remember what was real, what wasn't. What was a delusion, a dream or reality. Through the haze of muddle memories, one thing was certain: Elena Gilbert had been in the thick of it with him and she hadn't let go.

"What happened?"

Lily's explanation was short and simple. "You were dying. We administered a cure. And now you're alive." She paused before adding a tidbit of information for Damon to stick in his mental files. "You're very lucky to have a doppelganger in your corner. It was her blood that saved your life."

For the first time, Damon really focused on the woman standing at his bedroom window. There was something familiar about her. The way she stood. The way her head tilted to the side. How she held one hip slightly higher than the other. He vaguely remembered a confrontation between Katherine and someone. Two someones actually…

"Who are you?"

"A friend."

His eyes narrowed suspiciously and a well-worn Damon mantra slipped out in answer. Though, in truth, he didn't quite believe it any more. "I don't have any friends."

"You don't know what you have because you don't know who you are." There was a hint of humor in her voice. As if she'd seen right through his weak defense.

"No? And who am I?"

"You're the key."

Damon's WTF face appeared with a vengeance at her cryptic answer. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Instead of answering, Lily turned to face him, knowing that even the sight of her wouldn't stir any memories. Though it had been over a hundred years since she'd seen him last - rescued him last - she'd been through this before and knew the end before it was written. Walking to his bedside, she placed the bottle with the remaining potion on his night stand.

"For the next time you decide to be reckless with your life. Elena will know what to do." She nodded toward a cooler at the foot of his bed. "You're still a bit weak. The blood in there should help."

Damon's reflexes were lightening quick. Before she had a chance to withdraw her hand, he'd reached out and grabbed her wrist. His confused eyes searched her face. "Do I...know you?"

She was startled by the question and stunned by its implications. He never remembered. He wasn't supposed to. That had been a condition of her penance. She didn't have time for any thoughts other than that.

"It's time."

Damon's attention snapped to the owner of the voice coming from his doorway. "Aw, man, you gotta be kidding me. What do you want now? Another stake to the heart? I'd be more than happy to oblige..."

Taking advantage of his distraction, Lily gently pulled her wrist from his grasp and took a step back. That simple act was perhaps one of the hardest things she'd ever done.

Elijah was by Damon's bed in an instant, one powerful hand pressing Damon back into the mattress. Brown eyes dilated as they stared into blue.

"You will remain in this bed a full hour after we are gone. You are then free to go where you will, but you will not come after us. There will be no need. When we are ready, we will contact you. Do you understand?"

"I understand."

Damon blinked his eyes and they were gone. He felt strange. As if...but no, the vervain in his system should protect him from any compulsion by an Original. Except he'd been on death's door, had been fed an unknown concoction, not to mention a hefty portion of Elena's blood, which may or may not have vervain in it. He really had no idea what was in his system any more.

Only one way to find out...

He could move on the bed but not from it. He couldn't reach his phone. And he wasn't strong enough yet to use his mental abilities to call someone. Anyone. So he tried the normal, human route.

"Hellllloooo? Anyone there? Anyone listening with super-powered hearing?" He paused a moment listening for an answer, knowing he wouldn't get one. "Aaand that's what ya get when you pick the room at the farthest corner of the house. Brill. Move."

With a groan of frustration he fell back on the mattress, crossed his arms defiantly over his chest and stared up at his ceiling only to utter his one prevailing thought.

"Compulsion sucks."

* * *

><p>An hour later, Damon's first mission was to find Elena. Since her last known location was with Stefan, he immediately headed toward Stefan's bedroom. He never quite made it. His sensitive hearing picked up on a conversation he wasn't all that sure he should interrupt and was certain he wouldn't like.<p>

"Stefan, please don't be angry about this."

"I'm not angry, Elena, I'm surprised and, frankly, a little appalled. What were you thinking? He could have lost control and really hurt you. By drinking too much..."

"He didn't." The firmness in her voice spoke volumes. "He wouldn't."

Stefan's voice took on a slightly hard edge. "That's an awful lot of faith in someone that fed you his blood against your will just a few days ago."

"Maybe." Elena conceded, softening. "Look, I can't explain it. I just knew I was safe with him."

"You were _unconscious_, Elena."

"And I'm telling you it wasn't because he took too much blood." The weariness in her voice indicated this wasn't the first time she'd uttered those words. Elena sighed at what Damon could only imagine was one of Stefan's familiar non-verbals. "I think it was just everything that's happened lately. The ritual, the funeral, Damon...and you know I haven't been sleeping or eating well. There are a million reasons why I passed out, Stefan. Damon shouldn't be singled out as the lone culprit here."

There was a pause and Damon could sense Stefan's increasing annoyance. Apparently, so could Elena given her further prompt. "Come on, Stefan. Can't you just let this go for now? The important thing is that I'm ok and Damon is alive. That's something we didn't have a few hours ago. No matter how we got here, this is a _good_ thing."

Stefan's sigh was deep and Damon could almost see his bushy brows furrowed under his perpetually wrinkled forehead as he pursed his lips and nodded in perpetual agreement. "You're right. I just...I left here with my brother dying and came back to my girlfriend passed out by his very weak, but very alive side. I had no clue what happened. When I saw you lying on the floor like that...you have no idea what went through my mind."

"I know."

_And I can guess_, Damon thought.

"I just can't get that image out of my head." Obviously Stefan wasn't done with the guilt trip. "Elena, that's not a moment I ever want to relive again."

Elena's voice was borderline robotic. "I'm sorry. I know how hard this day's been for you."

Prompted by an inner urge to throw up, Damon rolled his eyes.

"I love you so much, Elena. I don't know what I would ever do if I lost you."

Unconsciously, Damon held his breath waiting for her reciprocating response.

It never came.

"I know."

Not 'I love you, too'. Not 'You won't'. Not 'That will never happen'.

Only 'I know'.

The startling realizations Damon had made over the past hour began to spin and swirl then came to a sudden and screeching halt. A very strong suspicion took the firm shape of an obvious and undeniable conclusion. He had only needed confirmation. And, it seems, he'd just gotten it.

Damon Salvatore hadn't been the only one changed tonight.

But changed how, in what way, for how long? He simply didn't know.

Which, put him square center in the middle of a dilemma.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Damon leaned back against the wall with the force of that knowledge and contemplated his options. There were few.

It was like 1864 all over again. Two brothers, one girl. Back then, his choice had been to selfishly follow her wherever she would take him. Damn the consequences. And where had it gotten him?

No girl. No brother. And a 145 years of being completely and utterly alone. Oh, he'd had his fun and he'd had his companions, but in the stillness of the night, in that solitary place where truth reigned supreme there was an emptiness, a loneliness, so vast it brought him to his knees.

But this time..._this _time could be different.

This time he could do things right.

If he only had the strength...

_I believe you can do anything your heart tells you to do. _

Elena's faith in him whispered through his mind, cleansing his soul.

And making his decision for him.

Speeding back to his room before he had a chance to change his mind, Damon threw a few things in a bag, found paper and pen in the desk downstairs then sat down...

...and wrote his second good-bye letter of the day.

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><p>The private plane was speeding toward its European destination.<p>

Elijah sat down in the seat across from her. "She's awake now. If you have anything you'd like to say to her, now might be the time. Because once we land..."

He didn't finish that thought. He didn't have to.

With hours to go and a captive to question, Lily wasted no time in making her way back to a special holding area customized for just such dangerous creatures as Katherine Pierce. She took a deep breath and steeled herself to once again face the woman that destroyed her world.

The door creaked as it opened and behind the bars of her cage Katherine's dark head snapped up.

"Hello, Katherine."

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Vivien Leigh herself. I'd give you a standing ovation for your little performance earlier, but as you can see, I'm a little tied up." Katherine tilted her head indicating the very short and very tight restraints constricting her movement.

Her arms and legs were chained to the stone wall and concrete floor. Wooden darts were aimed at her from every direction so that one sudden, wrong move would turn her into a very lifeless pincushion. And as if that weren't enough, the smell of vervain hung thick in the air. All of these things, and probably more that weren't as obvious, combined to keep her docile and compliant.

Normally, such conditions would be abhorrent to Lily. For Katherine, she made an exception.

"It wasn't a performance, Katherine." Lily lied convincingly. "If I hadn't needed the cure for Damon, you would be a decaying bag of bones right now."

Katherine gauged her friend-turned-nemesis carefully then decided to cut to the chase. It had been a long night and even Katherine had her limit to the number of games and manipulations she could handle. "I take it this isn't a social call. What is it you want?"

"The truth. If you're even capable of it."

"Since I assume a slow and painful demise is waiting for me at the end of this little trip of ours..." Katherine shrugged her shoulders with an air of indifference. "...I have no reason to lie. In fact, I might even consider this my last confession."

"Alright." Lily pulled up a chair, spun it around and sat down. Her discerning gaze fixed on the face of the woman that had once betrayed her. It was a risk even opening herself up to Katherine, to show her even a hint of weakness. But after 145 years of believing one thing, she had to know the truth. "What you said earlier...about releasing Damon from your compulsion. Did you mean it? Was that the truth?"

A knowing smile tilted Katherine's lips. "Ah. I should have known it would be about Damon."

Disgusted with herself for even giving this a try, Lily started to stand. "You know what? Just forget it."

"Yes."

The answer stopped Lily in her tracks. Her eyes met Katherine's and in the moment she knew Katherine was indeed telling the truth.

"Yes, I released him. He was free to follow his heart."

Liliana Castille slowly sank back down onto the chair and leaned forward. "Tell me then. What exactly happened back in 1864?"

Tbc…

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><p><strong>P.S. I know many of you have wondered how Damon drinking Elena's blood would change her. Umm...a lot. Which I've started a bit here, but there's more to it and I'll reveal that soon in upcoming chapters. I know that's not a lot right now but you'll just have to keep reading to find out, right? :) :) Thanks again for your amazing support!<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Note: Thanks again for the amazing support and feedback. Sorry it's taking so long to get these to you. Real life has been colliding with my TVD world. While this doesn't fully explain how Elena has changed, it's a start and from Stefan/the group's perspective. There's a more in depth from Elena's POV chapter coming up that will explain A LOT more. **

**Hope you enjoy. Would love to hear what you think! Feedback makes me write faster! :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

_Three weeks later..._

The first week, he chalked it up to everything she'd been through.

The second week, he was increasingly concerned, but reasoned that maybe she just needed a little more time.

Besides, he'd been able to cajole her into good humor before all of the craziness happened. He'd even been able to make her happy, if only for a short time. Certainly he could do it again. And with no death hanging over her head, or Damon to distract her, he was planning for the long haul.

By the end of the third week, Stefan Salvatore was downright desperate.

So a meeting was called. It wasn't the first time the group had gathered to assess the fallout of recent Original-induced events. But it was the first time that they'd openly met to focus on and address the growing 'Elena situation', as the current problem had been dubbed.

And that situation was this: Elena Gilbert had changed.

From the outside looking in, she was the same as always. Incredibly strong. Handling everything remarkably well. She received delayed words of comfort with a graciousness that was intrinsically Elena. She still functioned as anyone would - getting groceries, watching movies, even going out with Stefan on picnics and long walks. But to her inner circle, the change was obvious.

She was withdrawn and distant. The dark circles under her eyes and the weight she lost told the tale of sleepless nights and untold numbers of untouched plates. Her usual smile was sad, and her eyes haunted. She offered no opinions and passively agreed to whatever schemes they came up with to engage her. Each scheme had failed, but it wasn't for lack of trying. She went to school with them, sat with them, but she wasn't really there. And when, without telling anyone, she would disappear for brief periods of time, they often found her sitting alone, staring into space as if watching a whole other world unfold before her.

It was as if all of her passion, all of her fire, all of the life had been drained out of her.

In short, Elena Gilbert was only a shell of the girl she used to be.

Except when she wrote in her journal.

It was then, she came alive. Her pen flew across the pages as if it were on fire. Her features were animated. With pain and loss. With strength and determination. With mischief and delight. She even smiled a genuine smile a time or two. And sighed more often than that.

It was driving Stefan insane.

That an inanimate object could claim more devotion and breadth of feeling than a living, breathing boyfriend was unthinkable.

More than that, it was unbearable.

He tried everything he could think of.

Today had been the last straw.

_"So, I was thinking maybe we could take a trip back out to the lake house. You know, get away from it all for a little while." Stefan suggested as he moved through the Gilbert kitchen, pulling together the ingredients for a quick lunch. _

_It had been three weeks since they'd slept in the same bed, and even longer since they'd made love. And while she reciprocated his hugs and gentle kisses, her responses were lackluster at best and robotic at worst. Maybe a romantic trip would put them back on track. Well, at least one particular track._

_When no immediate answer came, Stefan glanced at her over his shoulder. _

_She was staring down at her wrist. Her finger lightly tracing the outline of a three-week old wound that had refused to heal. It wasn't the first time he'd seen her do that. He doubted it would be the last. Her eyes drifted closed and for a moment, she was transported to another place. A peace settled over her features and a dreamy, fleeting smile touched her lips. _

_A piece of Stefan's heart broke off at that smile. Just as it had every other time he'd seen it. He swallowed hard and forced his voice to remain level. "Elena?"_

_"What?" She blinked herself into the present and nervously tugged the long sleeve of her shirt over her wrist. She looked very much like a kid trying to brush away the evidence of a stolen cookie from around her lips. "Oh. Ummm...that's a great idea." _

_Elena was clearly struggling to piece together the last few minutes of reality. As Stefan's suggestion snapped into place, she began fishing for a plausible excuse not to go. In the end, she went the truth. "I just...don't really feel like going back." Realizing the unspoken implications of her words, she quickly tried to cover. "Back there, I mean. You know, things are still a little unsettled here and I don't really want to leave Jeremy alone right now."_

_"Ok. I understand." Stefan offered a reassuring smile then turned back to the stove. Jeremy was often her excuse, and though the events of that night had hit him hard, no one could say he was the worst he'd ever been. _

_"So is there anything you'd like to do later? I heard there was a new band playing at The Grill. We could always go check them out tonight."_

_"I don't really feel like getting dressed up."_

_"It's The Grill, Elena." Stefan chuckled. "You could walk in with your pajamas and bunny slippers and no one would care."_

_"I know. I just...I don't want to go, ok?" Her voice was terse, indicating he was quickly approaching that as yet uncrossed line again. _

_"Ok." Unable to hide his disappointment, Stefan nodded and slipped into silence. _

_Her felt more than heard her sigh. "Look, Stefan, I'm sorry. I know you're trying to help it's just...ow!" _

_Stefan spun around to see Elena holding one hand with the other. A bright red streak of blood was beginning to ooze from an open wound. Stefan was by her side in a heartbeat. _

_"What happened?"_

_"I don't know. I went to grab the paper and..." She saw the sharp, silver culprit lying on the counter and sighed in frustration. "Great. The largest knife we have in the kitchen. I didn't even see it." She glanced up at Stefan, whose entire focus was on the blood pooling in the palm of her hand. _

_"Stefan?"_

_His eyes flickered upward to meet hers. He swallowed hard at the uncertainty he saw waiting for him. All the times he'd seen her caress her wrist, all of the moments that she'd smiled a smile reserved for another, all of the distance that had separated them the past few weeks rushed together and coalesced around one aching desire._

_He wanted to taste her blood. He _needed_ to. He knew he could make her feel...whatever she was feeling in those moments of remembrance. Because he couldn't deny it any more. That's what she'd been doing. Remembering _his_ lips on her wrist, _his_ teeth in her veins. The intimacy of _their_ moment. _

_He gently slipped his hand under hers. "I know we're not in immediate danger. But it's been a while and I think its a good idea for me to keep up my strength. Don't you?"_

_It was the first time since the ritual that he'd asked to drink her blood. _

_She reacted instinctively. She shrank away from him, her hand slipping from his grasp. An involuntary step back. Then another. Her face was as white as a sheet, her eyes wide and dark with dismay. The anguish twisting her expression was enough to make him regret having ever suggested it. When she found the voice to speak, it was strained and halting. "You're right. We're not in any immediate danger. I um...I think...I'll uhh..." Her gaze shifted guiltily "...I'll just go clean this up."_

_It was the first time that she'd ever refused him. _

_Something told him, it wouldn't be the last._

_And he cursed his brother for having ever stepped foot in Mystic Falls._

The meeting itself didn't last long. When presented with previously determined options, members quickly divided into two camps: Team Action and Team Shield.

Led by Stefan and backed up by Bonnie, Team Action wanted to...well, take action. Drastic action, in fact. Have an intervention. Trick her. Use magic. Steal her journal. Anything that would give them a clue as to what was going on inside Elena's head and heart.

Protecting his sister had become a goal of Jeremy's since the ritual. As had growing a backbone. So despite his romantic involvement with Bonnie, it was actually quite natural that he would be the one to oppose them. As Team Shield's leader, he recruited Ric with little convincing. Their plan of action? Wait her out and be there for her when she was ready. And until she was, to shield her from anyone who would force the issue before its time. Because, Jeremy explained, if Elena was shutting them out, there had to be a reason.

That left Tyler and Caroline.

A newly accepted member of the group, Tyler didn't want to rock the boat or take a vote. So the tie-breaker came down to Caroline.

And that's pretty much when the arguing started. Neither side wanted to trust the outcome of their all-important decision to a girl whose first thought of the day was what color of lip gloss would look best with her new sweater.

Caroline looked to Tyler for help. His high-pierced whistle brought the yelling to a screeching halt. Everyone turned to face Caroline with surprise and a hint of annoyance.

"Ok, so I was thinking..." Excitement lit her eyes at the brilliance of her idea. "...has anyone called Damon yet?"

"Caroline..." Bonnie shook her head, her full lips tightening into a thin line. It had been one of Caroline's constant refrains to a fretful Bonnie over the past few weeks and Bonnie, for one, was tired of hearing Damon Salvatore's name.

Looking injured Caroline shrugged her shoulders and turned to Bonnie in response. "What? We pretty much know what started all of this." She addressed Stefan and the elephant in the room apologetically. "I'm sorry, Stefan, but you know it's true. She was fine that night when we left her and then..."

"She found out Damon was gone." Stefan finished for her, his shoulders sagging with the weight of what he'd firmly rejected for the past three weeks and finally accepted tonight.

The memory of the night she saved Damon had stayed with him. No matter how much he tried to pretend it hadn't happened, it had.

Waking up in the middle of the night, he'd reached for Elena only to find her gone. A cursory search of the lower floors yielded no results. Instinctively, his feet turned toward Damon's bedroom. After all, she'd only asked how he was half a dozen times and fretted half a dozen more over why he hadn't come to see her. It had almost taken an act of God to get her to stay put for the night. In the end, not even God could keep her away.

As he closed in on Damon's bedroom, Stefan's heart began to unexpectedly pound and his ears strained to hear a conversation that would never come. He paused a moment and steeled himself for whatever was waiting for him then stepped into the soft glow coming from the open doorway.

And that's where he found her. Fast asleep. Curled up in the center of Damon's bed, hugging a bundle wrapped in an old scarf with recent tears still wetting her cheeks.

It was the last time Stefan had seen her cry.

Caroline's characteristic chatter pulled Stefan back into the present.

"Right. I mean, that had to hurt, right? She just got done saving his life, and then he just up and disappears without even a thank you." Not quite knowing when to quit, Caroline continued. "And it's no secret he's in love with her or that they have this really intense _thing _between them."

"Caroline!" Bonnie hissed, cutting a quick glance in Stefan's direction.

A horrified look swept over Caroline's features and she hastened to correct her obvious blunder. "But that doesn't mean she doesn't love you, Stefan, because everyone knows she totally does. Right?" She glanced around the room for support and received a not-so-ringing endorsement of 'yeahs' and 'sures' and even one 'absolutely'.

Stefan's usually unreadable expression was even more so.

An involuntary glance in Tyler's direction signaled where Caroline's thoughts were taking her. "Anyway, all I'm saying is that I kinda know how that feels. And while Elena's a lot closer to that deep end than I was, we at least might have a starting point for reeling her back from the edge."

"Damon's not the problem." Bonnie announced stubbornly. "Believe me, I have given her plenty of openings to talk about him, I've even point blank asked her what happened that night, but she just shrugs it off like it was no big deal."

"And that's what you're going on?" Caroline's face scrunched into disbelief. "If anything, that proves what I'm saying. Elena internalizes everything. She always has. In the past when she's hurting, it's always been bright smile to world but inside..." Caroline shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "...no, those journals of hers have always been her emotional vomit pail."

"Which is exactly why we need to get our hands on them." Bonnie interjected. "It'll help us understand what she's going through so we can help her."

"We can help her by finding Damon." Caroline stated, firmly placing her on the side of Team Shield. "I mean, did it ever occur to you that maybe she's not talking because what she has to say doesn't belong to us? It belongs to him."

Hating the fact that Caroline, in her innate bluntness, had put into words the conclusion Stefan had reluctantly come to, he cleared his throat. And then he lied. Sort of. "Problem is, I've called him. A few times this week actually. There's no answer. I've left messages, but he's not responding."

"Oh."

"And unless any of you have heard from him..." A pointed look landed in the general vicinity of Ric and Jeremy. Both shook their heads. "Then we have no choice. She's spiraling downward and if we don't stop her now, we might just lose her."

Anyone paying any attention would have heard the 'we' in that last sentence as a very large, very definitively implied 'I'.

"I'm not letting you invade my sister's privacy." Jeremy stated firmly.

"Then what's your plan, Jeremy?" Bonnie asked smugly. "We've all tried talking to her. We've all failed to get anywhere. We've tried every human angle we can think of. It's time now for a little supernatural intervention."

"Wait. Before you cross that line..." Ric interjected before Jeremy had a chance to answer. Or come to verbal blows with his girlfriend. He took a deep breath knowing his confession would send a ripple through the group. "I know where Damon is. Or, at least I know where he was going."

"Where?" Stefan asked, his brows knit in annoyance.

"Yeah, that really doesn't matter. He didn't want anyone to know and I thought he needed the space after everything that happened."

"When were you going to tell us this?"

"I wasn't. Because as far as I knew, there was no need." An obviously annoyed Ric gave Stefan a pointed look. "Had I been kept in the loop on the Elena situation, I would have reached out to him sooner, but since I wasn't, we are where we are." His gaze swept across the room at the other concerned members of the group. "Look, let me try to find him. It's not like Damon to not answer his phone but where he was headed was kinda remote so he just might not be getting any calls."

"Great! And in the meantime," Caroline interjected. "I'll talk to Elena." Bonnie rolled her eyes. Caroline raised her chin in defiance as the not-so-subtle battle for control continued. "Look, you told me you and Stefan had everything under control. Clearly, you were mistaken. She's my friend too, so I'm doing this whether you want me to or not."

Stefan and Bonnie exchanged glances and Stefan nodded reluctantly. "Alright, Caroline. Just remember she's really fragile right now."

Caroline beamed and bounced on the balls of her feet in excitement. "Don't worry. I know just the thing to do."

tbc...


	9. Chapter 9

**Note: Well, this happened more quickly than I thought! Thank you all again for your fabulous support! You all are wonderful! For those wanting to see Elena's journal - never fear, it's coming in the next few chapters along with a full explanation of other ways Elena has changed. **

**Hope you enjoy! Happy reading and I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts!**

**Hugs to all!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

Caroline Forbes found Elena lounging on the window seat in her bedroom. She was listlessly staring at rain drops exploding into the window panes like bullets. A fingers absently traced one drop's erratic path before it collided with another, paused as if holding its breath, shimmered, then disappeared beyond a point Elena couldn't touch.

Or see.

There was a resolute despondency in the slump of her shoulders, a sadness in her sigh. And a deep longing in her gaze that broke Caroline's compassionate heart. It was a longing for some intangible nugget of hope buried deep in her heart. For that unreachable something beyond the walls of her room. For that glorious something she'd embraced for the briefest of moments before it slipped out of her arms and vanished into the night.

Caroline suddenly felt unequal to the task of getting through to her.

But only for a moment.

"Hey!"

Surprised, Elena's head snapped to the doorway. If possible, she deflated even more. "Oh. Hi, Caroline." Her faint smile was weary and she was proud of herself for holding back a groan that instantly gathered in her throat.

She should have known. It was only a matter of time before they'd send Caroline. She was usually the person of last resort. Though, to be honest, Elena wasn't quite sure why any more. She'd more than proven herself to them, both individually and as a team.

Still, they must be getting desperate.

And given what had happened earlier with Stefan when he asked to drink her blood...

She quickly stopped her thoughts from going down _that_ road and focused her energy on getting through the next few minutes of whatever Caroline antics had been devised. She turned from the window and gave Caroline her full attention.

"What's up?"

Caroline paused a moment as if planning her attack. Then, in typical Caroline fashion, she dropped her bag by the door, stepped into the room, then just dove in. Hand motions and all. "Look, I'm not really all that good at the small talk so...here goes." She took a deep breath and released it. "I know traditionally that the order of friendship is you and Bonnie, then Bonnie and me, and then you and me so I'm not expecting you to open up and spill your guts, ok? I just want you to know that I know what you're going through. I went through it with Tyler and...you know, it totally sucked when he left without telling me..."

"Caroline..."

"No, no, please. Let me just say this and that'll be the end of it. I promise."

Elena nodded reluctantly.

Having been given her say, Caroline came to sit on the edge of Elena's bed facing her before continuing. "It hurt. I mean...it _really _hurt. After I helped him with his first transition, we had this...bond, you know? And when he just disappeared - no good bye, no see ya later, no have a great life - it felt kinda like a betrayal. So, I get it. Granted, I wasn't dealing with a sudden death and resurrection scenario and no one in my family died because of some psycho vamp with a doggie complex, but I do understand missing someone so much you can't talk about it."

"Caroline, I..."

Caroline shook her head and cautioned silence with a finger against her lips. What she did next explained everything. Touching a finger to her ear then downstairs, Elena immediately knew sensitive vampire ears were listening.

"...I had no idea that Tyler...meant so much to you." Elena stated instead, mostly to cover but also out of genuine interest. "What about Matt? You still love him, right?"

"Oh yeah, I totally do. That's what's so confusing about it." Caroline admitted. "I mean, if I love Matt so much and I'm supposed to be with him, I shouldn't have liked it when Tyler kissed me, right? And I _really_ shouldn't have kissed him back. Or felt like I'd lost my best friend when he was gone."

Elena was genuinely intrigued. Because, for the first time, it really dawned on her just how similar Caroline's situation was to hers. Not that she and Damon had kissed. No, they hadn't gone that far. And yet, where they had gone was somehow so much farther. And meant so much more.

Like the rain drop on the window pane, they had collided, held their breath, shimmered then disappeared beyond a point Elena couldn't reach.

"Tyler kissed you? When was this?"

"You know what? That part doesn't really matter right now." Caroline leaned forward and placed a warm hand over Elena's. "What does matter is that I'm here for you. And that I'm on _your _side, Elena. Even if your side includes Damon. So, you can talk about him...or not. You can sulk or scream or just...be. I won't expect anything. I won't be hurt. And I won't walk away..." Her voice softened to a meaningful whisper. "...no matter how you feel or what that ends up meaning."

And for the time in three weeks Elena Gilbert felt like she could breath in someone else's presence. For the first time, she didn't feel caged or restrained. Damon's name wouldn't be a curse. She wouldn't be condemned just for saying it. And her transparent feelings wouldn't hurt anyone when she did.

Elena gratefully took the gift that Caroline had just handed her and smiled. This time, the smile was genuine. "Thank you, Caroline."

Caroline brightened instantly. "And now that that part is over, I just found this new artist and totally had to share." Bouncing back to the door, she rummaged through her bag till she found her iPod.

"Oh, I'm not really in the mood for..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You seriously need to hear this though." She plopped her iPod into Elena's stereo and skipped to the artist in question. Something on Elena's dresser caught her attention. "Oh! Great color. Let me do your nails." Grabbing the nail polish, Caroline turned to Elena with an irrepressible grin. "Bed, missy."

Elena chuckled and gave herself over to a girls' night of Caroline chatter. She slipped onto the bed and propped her feet up when Caroline joined her. With the music blaring in the background and their proximity much closer than before, Caroline Forbes opened the bottle, lowered her voice to a whisper and got down to real business.

"If you don't want your brooding vamp and witchy BFF to know your deepest darkest, you'd better hide your journals. Fast."

"What? Why?"

"Why do you think?" Caroline held up her finger. "Isn't this just the best song, Elena?"

Following her lead, Elena nodded. "Yeah, it's...great." She lowered her voice and tugged on Caroline's hand to get her attention. "They wouldn't."

"The next one is even better. Just listen to that lead's voice. It's sooo dreamy." Caroline answered a bit too loudly, overcompensating for the whisper to come. "I just came from a meeting where they clearly would. Look, Ric's leaving to find Damon as we speak. So, until Cocky Much saunters back into your life, at least try to lighten up on the 'tude, ok? You not talking is pushing buttons that could potentially explode."

Elena heard her, and later what she said would register. But at the moment, only one thing mattered...

"Damon's coming home?" There was a breathlessness in her whisper that was unmistakable. And the sudden excitement in her eyes spoke volumes. "When?"

Caroline leaned back and shook her head as a triumphant grin split her face. "Yeah. That's what I thought. I was sooo right."

"What?"

"Hide the journals, Elena." Smile gone, Caroline's earnestness sent a shiver through Elena. "And get ready for what happens when he walks back through your door. Because if I'm right, when he does, someone you love is going to get hurt."

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><p>Alaric Saltzman stuffed a few shirts and pairs of jeans into an overnight bag. Even though he knew where Damon had headed the last time they spoke, there was no guarantee he'd still be there. After all, it had been three weeks.<p>

And Damon Salvatore had been on a mission.

_"Damon." _

_"Ric." Damon lifted his half-empty glass in salute to the vampire hunter that had somehow become perhaps his best friend. _

_"The files you requested." Ric pushed a stack of folders across the counter then took a swig from the newly deposited glass in front of him. He savored the burn as it flowed down his throat and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "So, I hear you almost died tonight."_

_"That's the general consensus."_

_"Also hear that you asked Katherine to stake you. You know, when you were..."_

_"Yup." Damon answered before throwing back another one. He set the shot glass down on the counter with a thud and motioned to the bartender. "Why? You got a problem with that?"_

_"Yup." Ric nodded, his eyes trained on Damon through the mirror behind the bar. "It should have been me."_

_Damon smirked and grabbed his glass. "I'll remember that next time."_

_"There'd better not be a next time." Ric drawled. "There aren't that many good vamps running around. I'd hate to lose one of the few I actually trust." _

_The word 'trust' seemed to grab Damon's attention. His gaze lowered guiltily. "Look, Ric, about Jenna..."_

_Those particular wounds were too fresh. Ric cut Damon off before he could unintentionally rub salt into them. "It wasn't your fault. No one really thinks it was. Especially me."_

_"Still. I'm sorry I kept you from going to her."_

_Ric shrugged, taking the logic of it all in stride. Which meant he was still too numb to deal or had walked into the Grill with a few glasses already under his belt. "You were trying to keep the casualties to a minimum. I probably would have done the same, you know, if I'd been in your place."_

_"I'm still sorry."_

_"It's still not your fault."_

_"So, we good?" Damon turned to Ric for the first time, a glass held up as if for a toast. _

_Ric held Damon's gaze a moment considering his response. Given everything this one vampire had done to him, the answer shouldn't be this easy. Or this true. "Yeah. We're good." He clinked glasses with Damon and they both drank to signify the end of the issue. _

_For a moment a companionable silence stretched between them. Then Damon spoke. "Listen, I need to uh...disappear for a while."_

_"Why? Is something wrong?"_

_Damon tilted his head contemplating the question. He seemed surprised by his own answer. "Actually, no. No, something is very right for the first time in..." He waved away his admission. "...way too long. But that means I have to walk away for a while. You know, to make sure it's real. To make sure someone doesn't get hurt."_

_Without any other details, Ric instinctively knew this sudden need to leave had to do with Elena Gilbert. "Alright. I get that. You coming back?"_

_Damon nodded. "Yeah. I just need some time to prepare myself for whatever comes next. Either way, it's gonna rock somebody's world." Damon predicted before switching gears. "Look, I need you to protect Elena if need be."_

_And he'd been right. Ric half-grunt, half-chuckle was either indication of his true feelings for Stefan Salvatore or that he was starting to get a bit tipsy. "Isn't that Stefan's job?"_

_"Stefan doesn't have what it takes to do what needs to be done sometimes."_

_"Yeah," Ric nodded. "I get that too."_

_"So, will you?"_

_"Of course. Do you think she's still in danger?"_

_"Would I be leaving if I did?" _

_"Good point." _

_"But just in case I stir a hornet's nest..."_

_"Got it." Ric tapped the files on the counter between them. "Do these files have anything to do with where you're going?"_

_"Maybe." _

_Maybe it was the way Damon said 'maybe' that made Ric sit up, pay attention and see beyond Damon's nonchalant, no-care attitude. It stung him that that they'd not been able to stop Klaus from going on with the ritual, from killing. It was a defeat in Damon's eyes and if there was one thing Ric knew about Damon Salvatore...he didn't like to be defeated. _

_Ric shook his head in believing disbelief. "You really have a death wish. After everything that just happened, you're going to try to find a way to stop Klaus and then you're going to find him, aren't you?"_

_"I figured it was my turn to clean up a mess." Damon confirmed._

_"You didn't make this one."_

_"Doesn't matter. It's a mess just the same. And it could come back to haunt us if we're not careful." His gaze shifted and in that moment, Ric could see Elena in Damon's thoughts. "So, the proverbial killing two birds with one stone seems like a pretty good idea right now."_

_"Where you going?"_

_"Not sure. I figured I'd start with these and see where they take me."_

_"I have a better idea." Ric said after a moment's reluctant consideration. "I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier given the...well, you know." Instead of continuing his thought, he dug into his pocket. "Here." He produced a key and held it out to Damon. _

_"What's this?"_

_"Isobel. She willed everything to me."_

_"What?"_

_"A house in her name, her research...it's all mine." He pushed the key towards Damon. "So...take it. I have a feeling she kept the most important stuff hidden close. Maybe you'll find what you're looking for there." _

_"But Isobel was constantly moving. What makes you think she'd keep anything in one spot?"_

_"Because she didn't will any other place to me. Believe me, she had several in her name. And the one that belongs to this..." Ric bounced the key in his hand. "...is the one she liked most." _

_Damon seemed to consider the new information then reached out and took the key. "Thanks."_

_Ric nodded and turned back to his drink. "Do you even know what you're looking for?"_

_Damon blew out a breath and shook his head. "Nope. But the Originals are good place to start." _

_"Klaus and Elijah are both Originals so, yeah...that makes sense."_

_"It's more than that. There was this woman that showed up tonight with the miracle cure I needed. She was beautiful and mysterious. She was also with Elijah."_

_"What? You're kidding."_

_"Nope. Said something really odd about me being the key or something. It was way too cryptic for my muddle brain at the time, but.." Troubled, Damon gazed into a past he couldn't see. "...there was something about her, Ric...something familiar."_

_"Who was she?"_

_"Don't know." Slipping off the bar stool, Damon dropped enough cash on the bar to cover both their tabs for a good month then turned to Ric with determination. "But I intend to find out."_

Ric had a mission of his own.

One that he'd apparently failed in so far. While the intent of Damon's request had clearly been keeping Elena from physical danger, he obviously hadn't forseen the impact his leaving would have on her. Ric had no doubt Damon would have done things differently had he known.

He would have explained himself. He would have talked to her. Or left her a message, a text, a note. Or, at the very least said good-bye.

But he hadn't.

And that made the least sense of any of this.

Ric would have done things differently too. He would have paid closer attention to her emotional well-being instead of nursing his own wounds with frequent trips to booze land. He wouldn't have been so focused only on threats from the outside, never once considering the thing that could harm her most would come from one of their own.

From the very one that would sacrifice anything to keep her safe.

So, now a fully sober and completely aware Ric was off to do what Damon had trusted him to do.

To protect Elena.

Even from Damon himself.

While bringing him back wasn't going to be an issue, finding him just might.

Snapping his bag shut, Ric glanced around his apartment one last time, flipped off the lights, opened the door and pulled up short.

Stefan Salvatore was waiting for him on the other side.

"Stefan. What are you doing here?" Ric's brows knit in confusion.

"I have a message for Damon." Chin tilted in aristocratic arrogance, Stefan's words were carefully chosen. "I know why he left. And if he comes back, I'll know the reason for that too. I _strongly_ suggest that he doesn't."

"Stefan, what are you..."

"He and his _feelings _aren't needed here any more. Elena's safe, and with time and - more importantly - distance from him, she'll be fine."

"Yeah, well I'm not so sure about that..."

"I'm not going to lose her." Stefan cut Ric off. His jaw tensed with determination and a hint of something else just simmering under the surface. Anger. Disdain. Jealousy. "Especially not to him."

"And why not him?"

"Because he doesn't deserve her." Stefan answered curtly.

Ric's eyes narrowed. "Maybe that's something Elena should decide."

"And maybe she shouldn't have to."

Ric quickly put two and two together. "You didn't call him, did you?"

"I tried. Once." Stefan admitted with no remorse. "After that, I didn't see the need."

"You know I've seen hypocrites in my day, but you..." Disgust settled in Ric's eyes. "After all the grief you gave him for taking away her choices...you're doing the same thing. Right here. Right now."

"Just give him the message." Stefan demanded calmly, calculatingly.

"And what if he doesn't listen to this message of yours?"

"That would be a big mistake."

"Really." Ric challenged.

"Really." Stefan took a step closer, squaring off against Ric as if Ric were Damon's emissary. The danger flashing in his eyes was unmistakable. "See, he surprised me the last time he showed up. But this time..." Stefan's lips titled confidently. "...I _will _be ready."

tbc...


	10. Chapter 10

**Note: Hey all! Sorry this took so long to get out and I'm sorry it's such an incredibly long chapter! For those that wanted Elena's journal, this chapter's for you! It'll pop up again for sure, but this will begin to explain what she's been going through since Damon's departure. FYI-For those anxious for Damon's return...hang on. He's coming. REALLY soon. :) :)**

**As always thank you, thank you, thank you for the feedback and support! You are amazing! :) Hope you enjoy! Happy reading and I'd love to hear what you think! :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

_One week later  
><em>  
>"So, what did Ric have to say?"<p>

Caroline's question was muffled by the near-solid changing room door.

"He hit another dead end, but said he's not giving up." Elena sighed and glanced down at her phone to make sure no new messages had come through. It was the tenth time she'd looked in half as many minutes. Even though she knew Ric's established schedule of communication was one text a day, looking for messages from him was an obsession now. "He thinks he has a really good lead this time though."

"Well, if anyone can find Damon, it'll be Ric." Caroline announced as she flung the door opened, stepped from the dressing room and posed for Elena, who was lounging on a nearby chair, shoes off and feet tucked under her. Thanks to Daddy Forbes' large checkbook, the exclusivity of the shop and a little compulsion on the side, they were taking full advantage of being the store's sole customers.

How Caroline had managed to talk Elena into driving to Richmond on a shopping trip to find a new dress for the upcoming Founders' Party was definitely going down as a 'what-just-happened' moment for Elena and a 'I've-still-got-it moment' for Caroline. Though reluctant to follow through at first, Elena was glad now for the distraction. Knowing Ric was out there looking for Damon while she helplessly waited at home was starting to drive her insane.

And that was only one part of all the other craziness in her life.

"So? Whaddya think?" Caroline did a Vanna White with her hands and turned slowly in front of Elena before even being prompted. The form fitting strapless number hugged all the right curves and showed off all the right assets.

"Oh, wow. That's perfect. And the color really brings out your eyes." Elena's assessing gaze swept over the girl that had done more than just help her hold it together the past week. She'd helped her come ever so slowly out of her shell. Even if only briefly and only in her presence. After all, it was nearly impossible to not feel lighter whenever Caroline was around. Even harder not to smile."Seriously. That's definitely the one."

"Yeah?"

"Oh, yeah." Elena nodded, her eyes lighting with teasing. "I know of at least one puppy that'll be panting in appreciation. Or does Tyler howl?"

"Oh, would you stop." Caroline chided, though she couldn't hide the blush that spread over her cheeks at the not-so-covert reference to the slow, but sure, romance budding between her and the town's only known werewolf. "We sooo haven't gotten to the panting stage yet. Or howling for that matter."

"Wear that and you will." Elena grinned at her friend and shook her head in disbelief. "I still can't believe you're going as Tyler's date to the Founder's Party."

"And I can't believe you're not going to be there at all." Caroline announced with a pout. "It's not gonna be the same without you. You know, love him as I do, it just doesn't seem right that Jeremy will be the sole representative of the Gilbert family this year."

"Yeah, well, you _know _why I'm not going. I'm still not in the mix and mingle mood. Besides, everything is so different now." Elena didn't have to say Stefan's name for it to be hanging there, unspoken, in the air between them. And she didn't have to say his name for Caroline to understand. By mutual agreement two topics were off the table unless Elena brought them up. And both topics just happened to have the last name 'Salvatore' attached to them.

Her eyes narrowed as she considered how gleeful Caroline was in getting ready for a date with a guy that wasn't Matt. "For both of us, it would seem. Now, fess up. Tell me about this date of yours."

"It's not a _date_, really. I'm going to be there." Checking out her reflection in the mirror, Caroline turned slowly and took mental notes of her image. "He's going to be there. And if we just happen to you know, have a dance or two..."

"Or maybe even a kiss?"

"Or maybe even that." Caroline's blush deepened as she bit back a grin. She caught Elena's shaking head in the mirror. "What? It's not like it's going to kill anybody if we do." She glanced at herself once more in the mirror. Her head bounced once in satisfaction then she quickly slipped back into the dressing room to change.

"I'm just glad it's not going to be a full moon." Elena quipped, fully feeling the irony of Caroline's statement.

"You and me both." The roll of Caroline's eyes was evident in her voice. "I mean, could you imagine? The expression 'heavy petting' would take on a whole new level of meaning."

Elena chuckled. And it felt good. To be able to smile and find humor in things again. It was in large part due to Caroline. And, if Elena was being honest, an even larger part to the hope of Damon's eminent return.

But since she was trying _really _hard not to feel guilty _or_ think about all things Salvatore...

"Hey, how's the Matt situation?" Elena asked cautiously when Caroline emerged wearing her jeans, t-shirt and a brown leather jacket.

A hint of sadness filtered into Caroline's expression as she shrugged resignedly. "There is no Matt situation. He's made it pretty clear he doesn't want anything to do with me so..."

"And you're sure Tyler's not just a rebound thing?" Elena asked softly, surprised by her own bluntness. Apparently she was picking up a few of Caroline's habits. Or maybe this was a sign of the new Elena that was beginning to emerge.

"I really don't think so. But to be sure, we're taking it slow and keeping it honest." Tilting her head to the side, Caroline met Elena's curious gaze. "I still love Matt, and there's a part of me that probably always will. Tyler knows that."

"But?"

"But nothing. I want Matt to be happy, and being with me...he isn't. So, I'm choosing to let him go so he can be." Caroline slipped into the seat next to Elena. "And before you think I'm being entirely selfless here, I'm not. I've changed, Elena. And I need someone who will accept the new me. Matt just isn't that someone right now."

"And Tyler is."

"Yeah. Maybe." Caroline answered softly then shrugged. "I guess that's what we're trying to find out. You know he told me once that you can't be with someone if they don't really know who you are. And he was right. As much as I hate to admit I was wrong about Matt being the one, there's something with Tyler that just...clicks, you know? In a totally unexpected way, he gets me in a way Matt never did. And maybe in the end, that's what it's all about."

"Yeah, maybe it is." Elena agreed, her rebellious thoughts taking her right back down Damon Lane. She stopped herself by remembering the crossroads looming large before her. "Hey, when did you get so awesome and wise?"

"Oh, I guess it was somewhere between being smothered by a pillow and waking up to sunlight burning my skin." She giggled before a look of horror flashed over her expression. "Oh, God. Does that mean I actually owe something to Katherine?" Her gaze shifted and she brightened. "Oh! Come here my pretties…"

Elena rolled her eyes as an easily distracted Caroline saw the perfect pair of shoes across the store and made a beeline in their direction. And as for beelines, Elena's thoughts went directly from Caroline's last comment straight to a pair of blue eyes that had been haunting her dreams.

Her own whispered admission surprised even her. "If it does, you aren't the only one..."

* * *

><p>"It's been a week and Ric is still looking for him." Bonnie announced a bit uncertainly. "I thought he would have given up by now."<p>

"As long as Ric is searching for Damon, he doesn't have to think about what happened with Jenna. It's a distraction he needs. He won't give up easily, which is why we need to extend our little project." Stefan took a drink of amber liquid from his glass.

Bonnie was taken back by his carelessly chosen words. Casting spells and changing the course of people's lives was more than just a 'little project' to Bonnie. And if Elena's well-being wasn't on the line...

"Stefan, are you sure we're doing the right thing?"

It wasn't the first time Bonnie had voiced her misgivings. Given Stefan's determination to follow through with this particular plan of action, it probably wouldn't be the last.

"Yes, Bonnie, I'm sure." Stefan answered as he stared out the window of his room, glass in hand and a half-empty decanter by his side. There was a barely noticeable tremor in his hand. "You see what he's done to her, how she's changed. As usual, Damon got reckless, he did whatever he wanted and now someone else is paying the price for it while he's off doing..." His lips curled in disdain. "...who knows what to whom."

Bonnie took a cautious step forward. "Look, I'll be the first to admit that I've never liked Damon. I get that he's a bad influence on Elena, ok? And while I don't like the affect he has on her any more than you do, I just think maybe she needs to see him to realize that. Maybe we should..."

"Should what? Let Ric find him?" Stefan shook his head before turning to Bonnie with brows extra furrowed. "And then what? Damon _will _come back, Bonnie. And if he does that..." He let the thought dangle so that every dreadful scenario he'd painted for Bonnie at the onset of this adventure a week ago had time to re-occur to Bonnie. And did. "Bonnie, after everything Elena's gone through, I'm just trying to protect her. _We_ are trying to protect her."

"But, Stefan, if she finds out..."

"She won't." Stefan assured Bonnie, then played on her one of her weaknesses. "We're the ones in control here. If we don't want her to know, how could she ever find out?" He paused and gave her his best puppy dog eyes. "So, we're doing this, right? For Elena."

Seemingly convinced, Bonnie nodded. "How long do you want the spell to last this time?"

"Give it two weeks."

"And if at the end of two weeks of the wild goose chase we're sending him on, Ric is still hellbent on finding Damon?"

"Then we'll revisit." Stefan casually answered, putting an end to the matter. For now. He lowered himself into his favorite chair. "Until then, that's two weeks I have with Elena. Alone. Believe me, Bonnie, that's more than enough time to undo the damage Damon has done."

With an arrogant tilt of his chin, Stefan raised his glass as if toasting her and his victory to come.

* * *

><p>The earlier conversation with Caroline still resonated with Elena long after the sun had set.<p>

Perhaps it was the straightforward simplicity with which Caroline put her situation into words. Maybe it was the way Caroline's relationships mirrored Elena's own. Or, most likely, it was the insight she had to know when it wasn't right and the maturity of her decision to let Matt go.

Whatever the reason, Elena Gilbert understood the truth of Caroline's words. And more importantly, she felt the peace of her own decision despite the difficult and tumultuous road she'd traveled to get there.

Given the circumstances, there really was no other choice.

Because Caroline had been right before. With Damon's return would come a host of undeniables. And someone _was _going to get hurt.

Her thoughts immediately turned to Stefan.

To say things between them were rocky would have been an understatement. At first, it had been subtle. Or maybe she'd just been too wrapped up in her own pain to notice his. But as time went on, a distance grew until she had to admit, if only to herself, that the shift between them was more fundamental, more permanent than she'd previously believed.

And that realization broke her heart.

Because, ultimately, she knew she would end up breaking his.

It seemed, in fact, that she already was.

Three journals lay in front of her. If she were to label them, they would be 'pre' and 'post'. The dividing line that separated the one from the other two was that night. That moment. That connection with Damon Salvatore that was turning everything inside out. Or she could label them 'old' and 'new'. Not for their age or her length of ownership, but to signify the difference between the girl Elena once was and the young woman she was becoming.

The turning point?

The night she died.

And came back to life.

The old journal had been all Stefan, all the time. Their first meeting, first kiss, their last dance. All of what made Stefan and Elena _them _had found a home in its pages. She hadn't written a word in it for months and kept it now in treasured remembrance of what once was. Because despite what she now knew, what she'd discovered, how she felt, Stefan was an important part of her life. She was not ashamed of that. And she wasn't going to deny it.

Her gaze shifted to the two newest journals with blue covers that differed only slightly in hue. Each had a different purpose. Each held secrets that belonged to her and her alone.

At least, until Damon returned.

She grabbed the new journal dedicated to the current journey she was on, intent on adding an entry from the day's events, but instead found herself reading through her varying thoughts from the past several weeks.

She began with the first entry...

_It's been ten days since he disappeared from my life without a word. And ten days since he began invading my dreams._

_At first, I was so angry and hurt at his leaving me that way, I resisted him. I tossed and turned and lost sleep in an effort to ward him off. Now, I beg him to stay, and pray to never wake. _

_The routine is always the same. No sooner do I close my eyes then his appear. Brilliant. Intense. Stormy. He says my name, extends his hand and beckons me to follow. And when I do..._

_Oh, when I do, a miracle happens. _

_Every single time._

_I see Damon. The way he _could _be. And seeing him this way is a true study in contrasts._

_Because the Damon Salvatore in my dreams is a Damon with no repressed anger or pain. With no broken promises or relationships damaged beyond repair. He knows himself and is at peace. And in finding that peace, he's free. Uninhibited. The sharp edges that tend to cut today don't exist there. His tender heart is large and open, and untainted by cynicism. And the way he defiantly embraces life with no fear makes my own heart ache to join to him. _

_He's a man of ideals. A man of honor and loyalty. He's also a dreamer. A romantic. There's this sweet innocence about him that's endearing. On one hand, I didn't expected that from the self-proclaimed fatalist. And on the other, how could I expect anything else? I'm grateful that I get to see it. Every night. In everything he says, believes. In actions that speak louder than words. _

_By nature, Damon's also a protector. Whether it's shielding a slave from punishment, his brother from blame or coming to a lady's rescue over sharp, catty words meant to slight, he's mindful of others' pain and attempts to ease them. To comfort them. I've seen on more than one occasion just how sweet and caring he can truly be. _

_At the same time, he's fun and witty. That mind of his is always spinning, scheming, looking for a way to tease or upset the status quo with mischief. His smile is easy and full and his laugh...it's so contagious. I wish I'd heard it more often when he was still part of my life. More than that, I wish I'd taken the time to make him laugh or given him a reason to smile. And that I'd paid attention more and dismissed him less. _

_I wish...so many things._

_Because in the dreams, he's the Damon I always knew existed somewhere. The one I saw behind all of his transparent walls. That I believed in and couldn't walk away from. _

_He's not perfect. Not by a long shot. _

_He's still snarky and stubborn and more than a bit rebellious. He has a tendency to play up to whatever image a person has of him, often to his own detriment. He still makes me gasp at the insanity of some of his actions, and he never stops. Whatever scheme he's hatched, there's a fierce determination that burns bright in him. It makes him bold and brave and reckless. And there's a large part of him that takes joy in tempting Fate then laughing it its face. _

_Ironically, the Damon in my dreams is not that much different than the Damon of today._

_It took me a few days, but I finally understand that what I'm seeing is..._him_. _

_The way he _used _to be. _

_Because these aren't just dreams. They're memories._ His_ memories. _

Before_ he became a vampire._

_I am both an invisible observer and a willing participant. Events unfold as I silently watch from the outside. But as I sink deeper into these forgotten moments, it's as if I am the one living them. Feeling his hurts and his joys. Thinking his thoughts. Understanding his motivations._

_How am I so tied to him? So linked that I can see into a part of him that he's locked away for nearly a century and a half? Is this what Lily meant? When she said it would change me forever, did she know this would happen? And how is it even possible? Is it because he drank my blood? That can't be the only reason. He isn't the only one that has. _

_And yet... _

_I've never been this profoundly connected to anyone. _

_Not even Stefan. _

_And speaking of..._

_He's in the dreams too. How could he not be? He was such an important part of Damon's life that nearly every memory is somehow connected to his brother. And in nearly every memory, the same pattern emerges. _

_It's not at all how I pictured their relationship. Given what I've been told, given their current animosity. Yet, somehow what I'm seeing now rings more true._

_Lily was right. _

_Everything I've known, everything I've believed, what I've felt...it's all disappearing. _

_And in it's place is a truth both brutal and pure. _

_Because in it's place is the true Damon Salvatore. A man I'm coming to know. A man I'm coming to love._

_Or perhaps even the man I'm just realizing that I always have._

And another entry...

_Is it possible to not have a fight and feel like you have? To feel so unsettled about what was said that it plays over and over again in your mind till it threatens to drive you insane? _

_I guess it is. Because that's exactly how I feel right now. _

_Stefan managed to get me out of the house today with a surprise picnic. I didn't eat much and considering all the trouble he'd gone through to pull it together, I was feeling more than guilty. I was feeling downright condemnable. Maybe that's what prompted my question. And maybe I just wanted one moment of pure honesty between two people who hadn't shared an honest word in well over a month. If not longer. _

_"Stefan? If you could change anything about me, anything at all, what would it be?" I offered a smile, hoping to be reassuring. Not at all sure that I was. "Go ahead. Be brutal."_

_Stefan didn't even think. He didn't even hesitate. And he surprised me with his answer. "Nothing."_

_"Nothing? Nothing at all?"_

_"No." He smiled that smile of his that I fell so in love with, reached over and took my hand. "You're perfect just as you are. I wouldn't change a thing."_

_There was a moment of silence between us. And I'm sure he felt that moment was complete. Until I told the truth. _

_"Really? Because I would change me if I could."_

_"Elena, don't say that."_

_"Why not? It's true."_

_"You just feel that way right now because of everything you've gone through."_

_Actually, no. I feel it because it _is_ true. I feel it because I _am_ changing and in changing I see the girl I used to be. _

_She was naive and foolish. Unrealistic. She often masked her fear with false bravery and thought if she could just put a smile on her face, and make everyone believe things were alright, they would be. Even though, deep inside, she knew everything was terribly wrong. And sometimes, she dove into a world of make believe hoping that when she emerged, reality wouldn't be reality. That it would change somehow and she wouldn't have to face it. To face herself. That things that had once mattered, could matter again. If only she tried. She refused to see the darkness, the danger, the evil. Until it was draining the life from my body. _

_But Stefan wasn't in the mood to hear that._

_So I just agreed..._

_"I'm sure you're right."_

_...and let it go. _

_So much for a moment of honesty._

_I wonder, if asked the same question, what would Damon have said? _

And another...

_I'm suffocating. _

_I can't go anywhere without Stefan being there. I can't be in a crowd. I can't be alone. He's constantly watching me or trying to 'protect' me from some invisible danger. _

_And this morning, I woke to find him sitting by my bed, staring at me. Can I be honest? Truly honest? A month ago, I would have found that endearing. But today? It creeped me out. How is that even possible? I love Stefan. He's wonderful and sweet and kind and..._

_Who am I kidding? _

_Stefan has changed. Or, maybe he's always been this way and I just didn't see it. What I took for devotion before, feels more like this never-ending need for control. And has he always been so possessive and jealous? Looking back on it, I can't count the number of times he showed these traits. Or questioned my feelings and commitment to him. How did I not see this before? Why did I ignore the signs?_

_And another thing. What I used to see as remorse for his own life choices I'm coming to see as nothing more than a plea for attention wrapped in a martyr complex. And he agrees with me. All. The. Time. Like he doesn't have his own opinion or is too afraid that what he thinks will bring down swift and sudden disapproval. It's maddening. And unhealthy. After all, how can I be with someone I don't really know? And how am I to know him if he's masking his true self in favor of my approval? _

_I've also noticed something even more disturbing - the way he chooses his words to wound in the sweetest of ways. And then there are the words he uses to intentionally destroy. I swear if he puts Damon down to me just one more time..._

_Maybe its the dreams. I see in them a Stefan I don't recognize. At least not fully. And somehow that's opened my eyes to things I was unwilling to see before._

_But not now. _

_The new me can't ignore any of this any more._

_What's more...the new me doesn't want to._

And her latest from only a few days before...

_Things with Stefan are getting worse._

_I don't know what else to do. It's not like I haven't tried. I have. At first, I couldn't. I literally was incapable. I was still grieving, still numb. But something's changed. I'm beginning to feel again. And what I feel isn't all bad. _

_Even so, there's an emptiness, an ache that's always with me now, dull and penetrating. I could say it's because of what I've gone through, because of all I've lost. But that would be a lie. Because I think it's always been there. Waiting. As reluctant as I once was to name its source, there's no denying it now. _

_That empty place inside of me has Damon Salvatore's name written all over it._

_It's not anyone's fault. The simple truth is, you can't die and not have it change your life forever._

_While I still love the man I knew Stefan to be, I am no longer the girl that he fell in love with. _

_I _am_ different now. And not just because of what happened with Damon. Strange as it may sound, my relationship with Stefan is not dependent on his brother. On where he is or when he's coming back. And my feelings for Damon aren't dependent on Stefan. To me, they are two separate things. _

_Whether I'm with Stefan or not, my feelings for Damon aren't going away. I've finally reconciled myself to that. If anything, they've solidified into this undeniable force. This, living, breathing tangible thing that I can wrap my arms around even if Damon isn't here to feel them. _

_Knowing I have this pull to Damon, this connection, and being with Stefan...it isn't right. It isn't fair. To any of us._

_Which is why I know I have to break up with Stefan. I've known it for weeks now. But every time I'm determined to say the words, he does something incredibly sweet or says something that tugs at my heartstrings. And I let the moment go knowing the reprieve won't last forever. _

Taking a deep breath, Elena Gilbert picked up her pen, added the day's date and began to write...

_I've come to a decision that will change everything. It will be difficult and it will hurt, but I can't do this any more. I can't pretend. I can't deny. And I can't delay._

_Stefan and I are over. We have been for a while, I've just not had the courage to say the words out loud. And that's kept me a prisoner to something that belonged to girl long gone. _

_Tomorrow is the end of my reprieve. _

_Tomorrow, I'm laying the old Elena to rest in hope that the new Elena will have a chance to live._

tbc...

* * *

><p><strong>P.S. I know Stefan's currently unlikable and while some of that is truly coming from my inner place of extreme dislike of the character, there's actually a plot reason behind it. :) As for Bonnie - I just don't like her. She's not a major player so while I'm making her a bit OOC in support of Stefan right now, she's sure to redeem herself at some point, for those of you who care about Bonnie. :)<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Note: Hey, all! Well, here's another long one. I hope ya'll don't mind those. So, you'll get a bit of Damon, Elena and Lily in this one, though they're not actually together at this point. There's a lot going on so I hope it's not too confusing. For Damon, I focused on what he's been doing rather than his feelings so that the groundwork for Originals part of this could really be laid. His feelings will definitely be addressed though with Elena. Also, I know everyone's anxious for the DE reunion. It should be in the next chapter (at least that's the plan)! So please bear with me just an itty bit longer. :) :) :)**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you for the feedback and support! You have no idea how much all of your kind words mean to moi. :) Happy reading and I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!**

**Hugs,**

**M**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

_One week later_

For the past five weeks Damon Salvatore had been buried in books.

Stack and stacks of endless journals and diaries and historical accounts from obscure sources. While he'd managed to gather a lot of useful - and useless - information on vampires in general, the answers to his most asked questions still eluded him. Even an impromptu trip to Slater's apartment to confiscate his computer files hadn't landed him much more than he already knew.

The ritual was outlined. The Originals were referenced. The ongoing war between vampires and werewolves was catalogued.

There had been at least one promising lead. A key he found along with an address in one of Isobel's desk drawers.

Isobel.

She'd been one helluva researcher, that was for sure. And that she'd handed all that knowledge over to be perused, and used, by a vampire hunter was quite a testament to her unresolved feelings for a husband she abandoned for eternity.

He'd have to remember that insight to Ric when he returned.

The address had taken him on a long and twisted journey from one place to another, where both obvious and obscure, clever and simple, clues awaited scrutiny. Finally, they led him to a place that was so remote and beautiful, so familiar, that he'd momentarily been caught up in the wonder of it.

In a clearing surrounded by a babbling brook and a wall of trees nestled against the Blue Ridge Mountain range sat a little stone cottage with a faded blue door. Once someone's beloved home, it was now a hut of crumbling stone. He'd never been there. He was sure of it. And yet, it called to him as if beckoning to an old friend.

The treasure trove of information he'd been seeking was inside.

Hidden beneath the cobblestone flooring was a cellar. And inside the cellar a secret door. The key fit the lock and opened up to him the world of the Originals.

Because inside was their 'Bible'. Their historical index. Every birth, every marriage, each death, all lands and holdings, accounts and debts were listed. And then came the volumes. Each Original had their own. They were named, pictured, and their stories detailed. Their powers listed.

Their first sire was registered like a badge of honor, marking the beginning of their full transition to vampirehood. Because each had a choice. Much as the werewolves, though they carried the vampire gene, it remain dormant until they chose their first victim. Until they tasted their first drop of blood.

And then there was the volume of most interest. One that focused not on one Original only, but three. The three, it seemed, that changed everything.

Damon piled the volumes into his car and headed back to his base of operations at Isobel's knowing he'd hit the jackpot. And he was right. As Damon read, he drank in every word, realizing what he'd always known: history, it seemed, really did repeat itself...

_Klaus. Elijah. Evelyn. Julianne._

_One woman. Two brothers. Four names, and a story so familiar it soaked hundreds of pages in irony. Yet, so different, so unique, it could only be the beginning of it all._

_Elijah was the eldest of the Originals. Passionate. Daring. Loyal. A brother to be proud of. A brother to put faith in. Because of his noble nature, he was not his father's first choice for pioneering the family dynasty. No, that honor fell to Klaus, the younger brother who had an intense desire for power, a need for control and a skill in manipulation that cannot be taught. Julianne was the sister that worshipped them both. Betrayed them both. And somehow lived to tell the tale. _

_And Evelyn? Evelyn was the exquisite, delicate human caught between them all._

_Her attraction to Klaus came first. She was flattered by his attentions, drawn to him by the strength of his ambitions and susceptible to his twisted influence. They were, in fact, on the verge of a marriage ceremony. But that was only until Elijah returned from a quest for truth that he'd been sent on by their domineering father. _

_One look in Elijah's eyes and Eve, as became his endearment for her, was captured. Lost. Found._

_She barely remembered Klaus' name. _

_Which, ultimately, set up the ultimate conflict: two brothers vying for the heart of one woman. There would have been no contest if it hadn't been for the war. _

_Sent to lead a battle he didn't want to wage against werewolves he didn't hate, Elijah left his precious Eve in Julianne's care. And that's when it all went wrong. Julianne, the relative black sheep of the family, was desperate for her father's approval. And her father approved of Klaus very much. _

_She soon became a weapon in the battle for Eve's heart. At first unwilling, she discovered a darker side of herself that enjoyed influencing her human friend a little too much. As this dark side emerged, she finally found a place in the family's inner circle and delighted in it. _

_But years of paternal rejection had built a foundation of devotion and loyalty to a brother that has rescued her too many times from the wrath of their father. A brother that had singled her out early on for special attention, for instruction, for acceptance. He was the one person in the world that truly loved her, cherished her. Maybe that's why she'd been jealous of Eve. Had been willing to undercut their love. Because when Eve was around, no one else existed for Elijah. Not even Julianne._

_She was torn. _

_Between darkness and light. Between good and evil. Between Klaus and Elijah._

_Then came the news of Elijah's death. _

_Eve was devastated. Julianne even more so. In their mutual grief, a bond was formed that transcended petty jealousies and desires for acceptance. Julianne knew herself in those moments of shared grief and discovered a truth that reverberated through the centuries. Though she was her father's daughter and had been Klaus' confidant, above all, she was and would forever be Elijah's devoted sister. _

_No longer able to use Julianne in his quest for Eve's heart, Klaus took matters with Evelyn into his own hands and moved swiftly to put plans in motion. Turning to a witch for guidance, a spell was cast over the unwitting girl. Klaus' wishes became her command. He appealed to her, won her, then he bed her. And just when, only two days later, he led her once again to the marriage altar, the tale turned again._

_Because Elijah wasn't dead. _

_And with one look in his eyes, Eve was captured. Lost. Found._

_And the spell was broken. _

_But it was too late. The marriage had been declared complete and Elijah's own Eve was no longer free. It didn't matter that she denounced Klaus and the marriage. It didn't matter that her love for Elijah was declared with unequivocating tears. Or that she made a rash decision in the heat of the moment and escaped with her true love to hide in the darkening night. _

_The damage had been done. _

_Elijah and Eve's reunion was short-lived and bittersweet. As they lay tangled together that night in sheets and moonlight, passion gave way to reflection and reflection to realization. The events during Elijah's absence began to slowly emerge through a fog of confusion, though the magical reason for them never surfaced._

_And that's when she remembered the night she'd let Klaus into her room, into her bed. Horrified by her betrayal and afraid of Elijah's reaction, she kept the secret buried deep in her heart. Until, only a few short months later, the impossible secret won out._

_Evelyn was carrying the child of an Original. _

_She just didn't know _which_ Original._

_And that's when she disappeared. _

_At first, Elijah thought Klaus had taken her, hidden her, in an act of revenge. But the brutal and physical confrontation between the two brothers ended in the realization that she had abandoned them both. This knowledge bonded them. And though together they sought for her, high and low, it wasn't until several days later that they found her broken, lifeless body on a cliff ledge with a note confessing her sin and praying forgiveness for her weakness._

_They blamed each other and themselves for pushing her over the edge. Then they buried her together. They mourned her together. And after an uneasy reconciliation, they moved on, their own stories incomplete... _

Yes, history did repeat. Yet, like Eve's image - identical to her two doppelgangers, yet so very different - history was also subject to variations.

And change.

Snapping the book in his hands shut, he glanced first at the clock then at the moon outside the window.

And shivered.

Damon had never been so cold in his life. Not even when death had claimed him and released his undead self back into the world of the living.

He should be used to this by now. The sun had set. The moon had slipped into view. And Damon's body was reacting, preparing itself for the night to come.

It all started with his elongated fangs. They began to tingle and cool into two sharp sickles of ice. The feeling soon spread through his body, chilling him to the bone. The dull, penetrating ache that was his constant companion seemed to sense his vulnerability and attacked without mercy till the longing threatened to overwhelm him.

He didn't know exactly what was happening to him. And frankly, he'd stopped caring a while ago. Because over the past five weeks he realized that all of this led to one thing.

Elena.

It was the only time of day that he allowed himself to really feel. And as excruciatingly painful as those feelings sometimes were, he was grateful for them. Because they were tangible proof that he was still alive. That a part of him was still human.

Though he no longer flipped the switch on his emotions, he didn't let them fully register either. Or control him. It was the challenge he faced every morning, the test he passed every moment of the day and the achievement he prided himself on every night.

And as a reward, he allowed himself the luxury of Elena. Though in truth, allowed wasn't quite the right word. Because every night she invaded his thoughts with a vengeance. And he gave up without a fight. He drowned himself in her. Her eyes, her voice, her touch. He relived the moments that belonged to them and them alone.

The conversations. The looks. The instinctive understanding.

The connection between them that at once united and separated them.

He left for a reason. And a good one, at that. But now he was growing weary. Of the silence and distance. Of the ache and the longing. Of the emptiness filling his soul. He needed a break from the trials he was putting himself through. A very long break. More than that, he needed to test his new found control in the real world.

And he could only do that one way.

So, he packed his bag, gathered his books, shrugged into his jacket and turned his car in the direction of Mystic Falls.

Of home.

And Elena.

The very reason he had a home to go back to.

* * *

><p>The window pane was refreshingly cool against her heated skin.<p>

She should be used to this by now. The sun had set. The moon had slipped into view. And Elena's body was reacting, preparing itself for the night to come.

It all started with the still visible wound on her wrist. It began to tingle and burn. The feeling soon spread through her body, like warm syrup. A sweet, pleasant haze of sleepiness embraced her like a fluffy blanket that'd just taken out of the dryer. She snuggled into it, just like she used to when she was a little girl cradled in her father's strong, safe arms.

She didn't know exactly what was happening to her. And frankly, she'd stopped caring a while ago. Because over the past five weeks she realized that all of this led to one thing.

Damon.

And those beautifully elusive dreams where she could lose herself for hours and feel as if somehow she'd been once and forever found. Because awake, she was as lost as she'd ever been.

The dreams had changed everything.

Her outlook. Her feelings. Her relationships.

News of the break up with Stefan had spread through the group like wildfire. At first, there was shock from most, disappointment from some and one well-meaning, but ill-advised "You and Stefan belong together. I'm sure you'll see things differently in time," from Bonnie. Caroline and Jeremy's support had been invaluable in moving the issue along and giving her a much needed reprieve.

Surprisingly, Stefan hadn't put up much of a fight. It was as if he knew it was coming. They parted as friends, knowing that they'd shared a beautiful moment, but that moment was now gone. All in all, things had died down since then and Elena had been able to slip back into her life with little interruption.

Only she wasn't sure what that life was now.

She wondered if she ever would.

Elena pulled out the journal with its blue cover that had one purpose and one purpose only. She turned to the opening entry...

_I am Elena Gilbert. Three weeks ago I died and came back to life. Two days later, for one brief moment, I felt what it was like to really live._

_This journal is dedicated to the one who gave me that moment - to Damon Salvatore. To the Damon that was, the Damon that could be, the Damon I'm beginning to know. _

_This is his story._

_I will tell it as faithfully as I can._

She flipped past memories of a little boy with dancing blue eyes mischievously moving food from his plate into a napkin that he slipped to a starving slave boy hidden under the table. Past a eight year old taking the blame for the loss of a valuable vase that a pair of younger Salvatore hands had broken. Beyond the painful loss of a beloved mother, to the sweetness of a first kiss, and the pride of a bloody lip in defiant defense of a brother he adored.

Now, with an unsettled heart, it was time to add a new entry that had just surfaced. This time, sleep had eluded her, though the memory had not. She found the last entry, picked up her pen and began to write...

_Fingers linked together, her tinkling laughter followed him into the forest as he pulled her along a hidden path. _

_"D, slow down! Where are you taking me?"_

_A knowing chuckle and a tug on her hand was her only answer. _

_They moved deeper into the safety of the trees and didn't slow until they rounded a wide bend of jagged rock only to pull up short in a familiar spot. He had purposely brought her a different, round about way to confuse her sense of direction._

_Just for this moment. _

_She did not disappoint._

_"Oh! Oh, Damon!" She pulled up short and stared in awe at the sight before her. _

_In a clearing surrounded by a babbling brook and a wall of trees sat a little stone cottage nestled in the crook of a wide, expansive mountain range. Her dream cottage. Once a hut of crumbling stone, now a place to call home._

_He turned to her in time to see a wide smile spread across her exotic features. She was luminous standing there in the shade of the trees and his heart expanded beyond anything he'd felt before. Her flashing, dark gaze took in every detail. From the newly hung door painted haint blue - a superstitious tradition to ward off evil sprits - to the curtained windows at each side. Crumbled stones had been replaced and given a fresh scrubbing. And the flowers planted along the make-shift stone path were her favorite. He'd planted them himself. _

_"Well?" He squeezed her hand and inclined his head almost shyly. "Do you like it?"_

_"Like it?" She beamed, her lightly accented voice filled with awe. "D, it's...it's..."_

_"It's ours." Damon's voice sounded low in her ear as he stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. _

_She spun to face him, her eyes wide with surprise. "What? Damon, what have you done?"_

_"I bought it."_

_"But...how did you..."_

_"What this? Did you think I would not put a roof over my bride's head once we are married?" He teased, his blue eyes dancing with mischief._

_"No, I just...I did not even..."_

_"Oh, I see." His teasing increased. He adored her when she was flummoxed. "You've been listening to my father's complaints, haven't you? About how his worthless son intends to squander his family inheritance on cheap wine and even more worthless women." _

_"You are not worthless." She corrected, then gently reminded him with a coy glance. "But that _was _your intention when I met you."_

He gasped in mock horror. "How dare you speak the truth." A smirk appeared. "To clarify, it was

only_ my intention _because_ Father expected it and I truly hated to disappoint. In truth there were more words than actions put to those particular rumors. I'm more of a one woman man, for all that."_

_"I would not be marrying you if you were any other." She quipped knowingly. "So which do you think will disappoint Giuseppe Salvatore more? Squandering your fortune on this little cottage or marrying far beneath your station to a social outcast who has never had a home?"_

_"I do not care." Damon shrugged nonchalantly. "His disappointment, his approval...I don't need either anymore. As long as you are not disappointed with me..."_

_"How could I be? You've turned a run-down old cott that no one loved into a place that we can call our own. A place to dream and love and raise a family."_

_Damon glanced with pride at his handiwork. "Well, after all the times I have heard you wax poetic about how this place should be situated for just such a thing, it was surprisingly easy to recreate your dream on my own."_

_"You. Did this. On your own." A speculative eyebrow rose._

_Damon rolled his eyes in quick defeat. "Ok, so maybe I had a little help."_

_"More like a lot of help, I'd wager." She corrected with a chuckle, as she slapped him lightly on the chest before her hands gently rested above his heart._

_"Well, I am not sure Stefan can be described as 'a lot'."_

_"Oh." She lost a hint of enthusiasm at the mention of his brother. A button on his shirt suddenly earned the intense interest of her gaze and her fingers. Her gold and garnet engagement ring, a Salvatore heirloom, sparkled delicately in the sunlight. "So, Stefan knows about our place."_

_"Come on, Lily. Do not say it like that." Damon chided, with a tiny pout on his lips and a plea in his eyes. "I really wish you would try to like him. He is my brother and not nearly as bad as you think." _

_"I do not think he is bad." Her chastised gaze met his. _

_"But..."_

_"But...he lacks a certain...something. And if given a choice..." She answered slowly, choosing her words carefully. "...I would not choose him."_

_"Well, that would be a first." Damon quipped, an edge of bitterness entering the moment. His gaze shifted in thought. "Actually, that _is_ a first."_

_A gentle hand on his cheek brought his gaze back to her face. "It will not be the last."_

_"As long as you are my last, the rest of the world can go jump in an incredibly large lake." _

_"I believe, my sweetest D, those are usually called 'oceans'." The mood instantly lightened as the full force of her smile returned and chased away any shadows. _

_Damon shrugged. "Oceans, lakes, edge of the world...they're all the same to me. Because you and I will be here, in our new home, which just happens to be in your most favored spot in the world." He teased, his eyes growing warm as the smile on her face spread. He captured her face in his hands and readied himself for a confession. "It's mine too, you know. The first time I ever laid eyes on you was here." His smile deepened as he pushed wild strands of dark hair behind her delicate ears. "My wild gypsy girl, dancing with the stars in the moonlight."_

_"You...saw that?"_

_"Oh, yes. I saw that." He whispered breathlessly as his admiring gaze caressed her exquisite features. "Fell in love on this very spot."_

_If possible, the shy blush on her cheeks made her even more lovely. "Why did you not tell me our first meeting was not our first?"_

_"What? And make you think I was stalking you?" He winked, chuckled then grew serious. "Besides we didn't meet that night. I was merely lost and happened on what I thought was a once in a lifetime miracle that disappeared before I could say a word. I honestly never thought I'd see you again. I even thought I'd imagined it all. But then when you showed up in town, I knew it had been real and Destiny had other plans." _

_She sighed happily and turned in his arms, leaning back against his chest as she gazed at their future. "D?"_

_"Hmmm?" _

_"Do you think what we have is forever?"_

_A chuckle rumbled through his chest. "You are the fortune teller. Do you not know?"_

_Without seeing her face, he could feel the weight of the frown at her lips pulling her shoulders down. "There is so much against us. Our families. The war. The darkness..."_

_"The darkness only needs light." Damon reassured gently. "When I resign my post in two weeks time, the war will no longer have anything to do with us unless we so choose. And as for our families...I will gladly renounce mine and join yours if need be."_

_Her sudden giggle brought a smile to his face. "I would like to see you try."_

_"What? You think I couldn't roam the highways and byways or learn to dance a jig for a penny?"_

_"I think your father will not be the only one disappointed with this union."_

_"Then we shan't tell either." Damon whispered in her ear. "We'll run away together and be deliriously happy. What do you say?"_

_"I say..." She turned to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck before answering with a disarming smile. "...you can do anything your heart tells you to do. And if deliriously happy is what your heart wants, that's what we will be."_

_"Well, then..." His piercing blue eyes warmed with emotion. "...my heart tells me it wants one more thing. To remember everything about this moment. Everything about you. And so, my love, I always shall..."_

_His lips lowered to capture hers in a sweet kiss of deep devotion. _

As Elena Gilbert laid her pen down, she couldn't deny her confusion over what she'd seen or the heaviness in her heart and the tears filling her eyes.

* * *

><p>Lily absently fingered the delicate gold and garnet ring hanging on a simple chain around her neck. She often did. When she was feeling unsettled. Or thinking of Damon.<p>

Right now, she was doing both.

A door at the far end of the stately room opened and Lily immediately turned to face her mentor, her benefactress, her friend.

"Liliana, my dear, come." A woman of perpetual youth with warm brown eyes and long blonde hair held out her arms for a hug as she met Lily half way. "Had I known you were waiting, I would have come to you at once."

"Julianne." The smile that lit Lily's face was instant and full. She hugged her friend and released her with a satisfied nod. "It is so good to see you."

"And you as well." Julianne answered with a responding grin, though there was a knowing suspicion in her eyes. "It has been too long. Please. Do not stand on ceremony. You are like a daughter to me. Let us go...lounge."

Leading Lily into her inner sanctuary, Julianne did exactly as she suggested. She gracefully folded herself onto her divan and indicated that Lily should do the same. Instead, Lily chose to lower herself into a nearby arm chair and immediately came to the reason for her call. "Julianne, I am not here for a social call. I'm here because..."

"I know why you are here." Julianne stopped Lily with an upraised hand. "I have heard the reports. I was hoping they were not true, but..." Her sad gaze met Lily's. "...your visit only confirms what I already know."

"I'm sorry."

"For what? That Klaus has finally achieved his goal?" Her brown eyes glinted with wariness. "Or are you here on the unsavory task of playing mediator to Elijah and myself?"

Having expected the well-informed and usually astute Julianne to quickly put two and two together, Lily saw no point in asking how she knew Elijah even knew of her existence or location. "He just wants a chance to see you again. To explain his actions."

"And what does my brother have over you that you are willing to bring this request to me, knowing what you know?"

"Damon's life was in danger. Elijah helped me save him." Lily explained.

"I see." The suspicion in Julianne's eyes dissipated as she took in the young woman across from her. "Well, then, that earns him at the very least my gratitude."

"And at the most?"

"We'll see." Julianne leaned back against her pillows and readied herself for a tale. "But for now, I want to hear your story. So, tell me, Lily...how long have you known the prophecy was close at hand?"

tbc...

* * *

><p><strong>p.s. The blip about Stefan accepting things with him and Elena...well, we'll see. ;)<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Note: Hey all! Here's the next part. Now, I said I **_**hoped**_** to have the DE reunion here, but things worked out a bit differently then I planned (i.e. it got waaaay too long). I promise a reunion in the next chapter - which is written. I just need to add a few finishing touches on it then I'll post, hopefully tomorrow. Also, I know a lot of people have a lot of questions about a lot of things :) They will be answered. There is a diabolical master plan at work here. :) **

**Hope you enjoy! Would love to hear what you think! As always, thank you soooo much for your support! You guys are awesome!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

"Let me get this straight." Elijah turned from the window of his Tuscan hotel room before addressing the young woman sitting in a chair across from him. "You want me to spare the life of the woman you've hated for nearly a century and a half, and then you want me to trust her enough to let her go."

"God, no." Lily responded with a hint of disdain. "Trust has nothing to do with it. The vervain wore off a while ago. You can compel her for all I care." Tone light, Lily shrugged nonchalantly. "Just...don't...kill her."

"She must have really worked an angle on you." Elijah noted thoughtfully as he leaned back against the window sill.

"No angle. Just the truth." Lily informed him. "And because of that, I now owe her."

"This truth you speak of, I assume it has to do with what happened to Damon Salvatore in 1864." The look Lily gave him confirmed his suspicions. "And you're sure what she told you was, in fact, the truth?"

"Yes. I'm sure."

His assessing brown eyes narrowed. "It's more than that, isn't it? You've had a vision."

"I have." Lily nodded before standing and crossing the room to pour herself a glass of orange juice.

"And Katherine was..."

"On our side for once, believe it or not."

He perked up at the term 'our'. He knew Lily well enough to know if things had gone against him in her meeting with Julianne, she would be much more cautious with her words. Still, Elijah never took anything for granted. "And by our side you mean..."

Lily took a slow drink then swallowed before answering. "Well, unless you've changed your mind and rejoined Klaus' evil ranks while I've been away pleading your case to Julianne, our side is what they call 'the good guys'."

His lips tilted in amusement. And admiration. For a human, Liliana Casteel had no problems standing her ground. Even to an Original. "And how did that go? Pleading my case and all."

"Your latest stunt with saving Klaus' life did you no favors." She took another drink, draining the glass, then set her it down with a hint of determination. "However, I have managed to convince Julianne to meet with you."

"My sister has agreed?" He'd hoped for, but never expected such a swift reconciliation.

"Conditions apply."

"What conditions?"

Lily sat back down and indicated that Elijah should do the same. She waited till he complied before opening the non-negotiable negotiations. "Neutral ground spelled by her witch. You will forfeit any powers as long as you are within the circle while she maintains hers at all times. She will be guarded; you will not. You will come alone and you will undergo a few tests prior to the meet. She will reveal herself when and only _if_ she believes you can be trusted."

Elijah steepled his hands in contemplation. "Those are steep conditions."

"If all you truly want is to be reunited with your family, no conditions are too steep." Lily responded evenly.

With reasoning like that Elijah didn't hesitate. "Alright. Tell Julianne I will abide by her conditions and am eager to see her again."

Lily nodded and stood. "I'll arrange the meeting." She paused when she reached the door. "And Katherine?"

"I have spared her this long at your request. I don't see the harm in keeping her alive a while longer. Unless absolutely necessary, however, I think I'll keep her around for a few more days. If for nothing more than my amusement."

"As you wish." Lily nodded her assent. "Just have her back in Mystic Falls by the end of the week."

"Any specific compulsion?"

Lily thought a moment then shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. Be the anti-Katherine? Have a heart? Do what's right for once? Be at my beck and call then stake herself when I'm done with her. The list really could go on and on."

A rare smirk passed over Elijah's face. "I'll come up with something and let you know."

"Thank you, Elijah, and..." Her expression softened with sincerity. "...good luck with Julianne. Though, in truth, you don't need it. She's missed you perhaps even more than you've missed her. And besides..." She smiled knowingly. "...Katherine wasn't the only one on our side."

"Liliana." Grateful for support that was not required, Elijah stopped Lily before she completed her exit. Now it was time to return the favor. "Through the years, we have been allies, you and I. At times, even friends. I do not wish to see you hurt. "

"I know what I'm doing."

"So do I. Which is why I am concerned." As if to make sure they were on the same page, he stated the truth simply, gently. "He's in love with Elena Gilbert."

"I know that."

"Then tell me you aren't going to tie your destiny to his, leap into the unknown and hope you come out on the other side unscathed." Her faltering gaze told him all he needed to know. She herself was going back to Mystic Falls. To Damon. And she was no longer going to play the part of invisible watcher. She was going to jump into the thick of it. "You are risking a lot for one reckless vampire who doesn't even remember your name."

"Yes, but it is my risk to take. And it is not for my own desires that I return to him." Lily responded softly. "My destiny was his before I was born, Elijah. _Your _family made sure of that. I've waited a 145 years to serve my purpose. The time has come."

Even Elijah, well-versed in masking his emotions, couldn't keep the shock from his expression. "What do you mean? What does my family have to do with your love for Damon?"

"Ask Julianne and prepare. For there is more to this story than you've ever known. And it is now time, Elijah, for you to know it."

* * *

><p><em>Three days later: The night of the Founder's Party<em>

Even a vampire hunter knows when to give up the chase.

Alaric Saltzman had been down every available road, turning over every loose pebble and peeking behind every closed door.

Still, there was no Damon to be found.

Of course, Isobel's had been the first stop. And while it was evident Damon had been there, it was equally evident he hadn't stayed long. Ric followed what clues he could and cursed his phone for the sudden lack of connection that kept him from texting or calling Elena with updates for the past few several days. He'd finally given up and tried Caroline, Jeremy, and other members of the group. He'd used phone booths, land lines, even borrowed phones. Nothing got through. It was as if someone was purposely keeping him in the dark and disconnected.

He couldn't help but think of Stefan and his threat about Damon. In fact, he couldn't help but step back and reanalyze the whole thing. Something was definitely off. He just wished he'd seen it sooner.

And he wished he could find Damon. He had a much better sense of these supernatural oddities and would know what to do. Until coming to Mystic Falls, Ric had been in the business of staking vampires, not rehabilitating them. Now the very thought of wishing for a vampire's insight was enough to make him laugh. Or get really drunk.

Ric pulled into his darkened lot to find the elusive devil parked under the lone light that still worked.

"Damon?"

"Hey, Ric." Casually lounging on the hood of his car, Damon wiggled his eyebrows and held up a bottle of whisky in invitation. "Care to join my welcome home party? Not that you're my last choice, but no one else is home. I've checked."

Ric slammed his door shut. "Where the hell have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you."

"Ummm...I've been doing what I said I was going to do. You know, following clues, gathering data, being awesome." His brows furrowed in concern. "Why? Is there a problem?"

"I don't know, Damon. If you consider your increasingly erratic vampire brother threatening to take you on if you step one foot back into this town a problem, then yeah...you might have one."

A dark eyebrow rose in surprise. "My little brother said what?"

Shaking his head, Ric clapped Damon on the back and inclined his head toward his apartment building. "Come on. We have a _lot_ to talk about."

* * *

><p>The Founder's Party was in full swing.<p>

"I am _so_ glad they moved this to an evening event this year." Caroline declared as she looked around her at all the beautiful dresses, decorations and candlelight that only a night event would allow.

"Yeah? Why's that?" Tyler asked, unable to look at anything but her as he slowly maneuvered her around the dance floor.

"Because it's just so...so..."

"What's this? Is Caroline Forbes speechless?" Tyler quipped with a teasing smile.

"If I am it's not the first time tonight. You uh..." Caroline responded as she took him in, not for at least the millionth time since he'd greeted her at the door. "You look..." The sigh that finished her sentence was enough to make Tyler blush.

And he did. "I'm nothing compared to my non-date, date. You look amazing."

"Thanks." She smiled shyly then twined her arms more tightly around his neck and settled more closely into his embrace. "I have Elena to thank for that though. Even though she wasn't coming tonight she helped me shop and she even came over to the house earlier to help me get ready."

"You've been a really good friend to her." Tyler commented with more than just a hint of pride. "I'm not quite sure what's going on with the whole Stefan/Damon thing, but she's really had it rough lately. You being there for her's really helped. She responds to you. Then again, she wouldn't be the first one."

Catching his intended double-meaning, a faint blush settled on her cheeks. "Yeah, I think when you're kinda going through some of the same..." Caroline's shifted to the newest guests entering the ballroom. Her expression changed instantly. "Oh. My. God." She excitedly patted Tyler on the shoulder. "Tyler. Tyler, tell me I'm not just seeing things."

Tyler glanced over his shoulder. "Nope. I see him too."

"Oh, God. Ok, ummm..." She took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts. Decision made, her eyes locked with Tyler's as she grabbed his hand. "Come on. We've got a call to make."

Yanking Tyler off the dance floor and slipping out of the room, Caroline dug into her purse and pressed speed dial. The phone rang, and rang and rang. Caroline was just about ready to give up on getting a real live person when Elena's breathless voice came on the other line.

"Hello?"

"Elena. Get your butt over here. You are _never _going to believe who just walked in the door."

"Are you...do you mean..."

Eyes trained on the subject in question, Caroline's eyes lit up at the sudden hope that filled her friend's voice. "Yep. Dashing and daring and oh, so Damon."

"Caroline, do _not_ let him leave. I'm on my way."

The line instantly went dead and Caroline spun to face her non-date, date. "So. How are those doggie tracking senses of yours?"

* * *

><p>Unaware of anything but the drink in his hand and the steady buzz in his head, Stefan Salvatore saw a new victim across the room.<p>

She was at the bar, which already put her in the top ten of the evening. Her midnight hair was pile into an exquisite arrangement on her head, exposing a flawless back to him. He couldn't see her face, but if it was even half as beautiful as the rest of her, he was in for a treat.

He sauntered up to the bar and offered his opening line.

"I'd ask what a beautiful woman like you is doing in a place like this, but since you're here to meet me, I'll just cut to the chase. May I have this dance?"

She barely wasted a glance on him. "No. I don't think so."

Not accustomed to being rejected outright, Stefan leaned on the counter and tried again. "I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself." He held out his hand. "My name is Stefan. Stefan Salvatore." Though she didn't make a move to shake his hand or even look his way, Stefan continued undeterred. "I don't think I've ever seen you before. Have you been in town long?"

"Not very."

"And are you here on business or just visiting?" He took a sip from his glass.

"Strictly business. Though I do have..." Her midnight eyes glinted with humor at the punch line to an obviously private joke. "...connections here."

"Well, welcome to our fair town." Bowing in a grand gesture, Stefan stumbled back a step, righted himself then glanced back at the dance floor as if staying on his feet wasn't difficult enough. "Are you...sure you don't want to dance? I can cut a mean rug with the right partner." Leaning in closer, he boldly let a finger brush down her arm. "And you definitely look a woman I could...tango with." Stefan smiled at what he thought was the brilliance of his own pun.

The woman sighed wearily and pushed herself away from the bar. Turning to face Stefan she leaned forward with a tight smile, her eyes never leaving his and her voice dropping to an intimate whisper. "Mr. Salvatore, I'd rather be lit on fire." She inclined her head in retreat and flashed him a deceivingly sweet smile. "Now if you will excuse me..."

Across the room, an eavesdropping Damon nearly choked on his drink drawing Ric's immediate attention from scanning the crowd for Elena. He clapped Damon on the back. "You ok?"

"Better than."

"Why? What's going on? Did you see Elena?"

A nervous Ric glanced around. He still wasn't sure this was a good idea. Even after telling Damon everything that had happened between his leaving and the launch of Ric's search for him, Damon had insisted on coming to the dance anyway. Because, he reasoned, no matter what his beef or how far gone he was, Stefan would never attack him in a crowd. And, more importantly, Elena was sure to be there.

And if there was one person Damon wanted to see tonight, was determined to see, it was Elena Gilbert.

What he hadn't counted on was the woman across the room.

"Not a sign or whisper." Damon frowned. "Which is seriously odd. I mean, Stefan's here all footloose and fancy free." A pause. A unlikely thought. "Hey, you don't think they..." Damon stopped himself from finishing that thought, shook his head and answered his own unspoken question. "Nah. No matter what, it'll always be Stefan, right?"

"That's the working theory." Ric had his own ideas on the matter, but now was not the time or place to delve into the whys and wherefores of Elena Gilbert's heart. Besides, Ric got the strong feeling that only Elena would be able to aptly and convincingly display that heart. Because just in talking to him, it was clear Damon was going to have to see it with his own eyes to believe it could be his. "So, if it's not Elena then what?"

Damon refocused. "Remember that woman I told you about?" Eyes glued to her every movement as she seemed to float through the crowd, Damon attempted to fill Ric in on what he'd just overheard.

"The mystery girl with the miracle cure?"

"The very one." He nodded in her direction. "That's her over there."

Ric's eyes grew wide and he whistled low. "Wow. She's..."

"Yep." Damon agreed with Ric's unspoken assessment. "It gets better. She just turned Stefan down for a dance. And she was pretty brutal about it too."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know." Damon shrugged, his blue eyes dancing. "But I lllike it."

Lily Casteel turned at that exact moment, her dark eyes meeting his across the room. A slender eyebrow hitched as a small smile curved her lips, then she turned and disappeared through an open door into the evening glow. Recognizing an invitation when he saw one, Damon placed his empty glass on the tray passing in front of him and smirked that dangerous smirk of his. And a worried Ric saw the whole night go up in flames. "Hold down the fort. I've gotta check this out."

"Damon. Damon, no. Damon, where are you..." Ric sighed and shook his head as he watched Damon saunter out of normal earshot range. "...going."

No sooner had Damon disappeared into the crowd in the direction of the exit then Elena appeared at Ric's elbow.

"Ric." She breathlessly tugged on his arm, nearly spilling his drink. "Is it true? Is he back in town? And why haven't you called me? I've been worried sick."

Ric just stared at Elena, mouth open, unable to say a word.

"Ric. Seriously. Where is he?"

He snapped himself out of his momentary trance and pointed in the direction Damon went. "He was just here, but he found a more interesting conversation to pursue."

Elena's frustrated gaze followed his point and her eyes widened when she caught a glimpse of Lily passing outside a window. "Wait. Is that..."

"You know her?"

"Yeah, her name is Lily. She's the one that saved his life."

"To hear him tell it, the one that saved his life..." Ric gave her a pointed look. "...was you."

Elena's gaze snapped back to Ric. "I did what anyone would have." Even she didn't believe her own press.

"Something tells me that's not entirely true." Ric suddenly made a semi-wild gesture with his hand, his face scrunched in comic scrutiny. "Have you...you didn't come here for the party, did you?"

"What is she doing here?"

"I...I don't know. But I think that's what Damon was going to..." Elena was moving through the crowd before Ric even finished his sentence. Left standing alone twice in as many minutes, he sighed deeply. "...find out."

* * *

><p>"Elena?"<p>

Elena had almost made it to the door when she was intercepted.

"Elena, what are you doing here?"

She swore inwardly, painted on a smile that never reached her eyes and turned to face her ex. "Hi, Stefan. I um...I..."

Scrutinizing her, bushy brows furrowed. Her hair was pulled back into an extremely messy ponytail. She had no make up on. And her attire had been hastily chosen and thrown on carelessly. Clearly, she wasn't aiming to fit in or win any beauty pageants. When he spoke his words were a bit slurred. "What's going on? I didn't think you were coming tonight. Why are you dressed that way?"

"Well, you see..." Frantically casting about for an explanation, any explanation that didn't scream Damon Salvatore, Elena's mind went completely blank. So she switched the focus instead to Stefan. "Stefan, have you been drinking?"

"Oh, thank God, Elena!" Caroline came rushing up to Elena and threw her arms around her neck. "Thank you sooo much for coming. I am so sorry to bother you. I know you didn't want to come, but Tyler's being such a...a jerk right now. I just...I really needed a friend to talk to..."

Quickly catching on to Caroline's game and grateful beyond words for her ability to improvise, Elena wrapped an arm around Caroline's shoulder and cast an apologetic glance in Stefan's direction. "It's ok, Caroline, I understand. Why don't we go outside and talk things out?"

Dabbing at imaginary tears, Caroline sniffled and nodded her head. "Ok. Anywhere but here."

Seeing a chance to impress upon Elena the kindness of his heart, Stefan put his glass down and donned an appropriately sympathetic face. He flanked Caroline's other side. "Caroline, what happened? You know, Elena and I consider you a really good friend. And as you're friend, I'm more than willing to talk to Tyler, you know, man to man, if you need me to..."

Caroline and Elena glanced at each other, each heaving an inward sigh.

To paraphrase what a certain someone once said, there's no such thing as a bad plan. There's just poorly executed awesome ones.

Or ones that Stefan Salvatore manages to screw up.

Before either could answer, Stefan took control.

"Here, come with me. I know of a quiet little corner where we can sit and talk."

"Actually, Stefan, I think this is more of a girl's thing. We'll just head outside..."

"Nonsense." Stefan interrupted Elena. "There's nothing we can't handle as long as we do it together. Right, Elena?"

Moving behind them, he put a hand on each girl's back and ushered them forward, leaving them little choice and broking no objections.

tbc...


	13. Chapter 13

**Note: Hey all! Wow, thank you sooooo much for all of your feedback! It's been fascinating reading your responses to Lily and her role in this story and DE. I've made a few clarifications at the end of this chapter for those that are interested/concerned/don't mind being a tad spoiled. **

**As promised, here's the next part. I really, really, really hope the DE part has been worth the wait. This is only the beginning - there's definitely more to come. Happy reading! Please let me know what you think!**

**Hugs, **

**M**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

Damon found her standing at the edge of the pond, hands behind her back, staring up at the stars.

He paused, once again overcome with a sense of familiarity. Who was this woman and why was she affecting him like this? Taking a deep breath, Damon squared his shoulders with one thought...

Only one way to find out.

"I saw that..." Damon stepped up next to her and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "...rare occurrence just now. You know, most people around here consider Saint Stefan a real catch. In fact, I think you're the first person that's ever turned him down for a dance. Or anything else, for that matter."

"Yes, well, I find that saints are usually just devils in disguise."

And it just kept getting better. Surprised, he turned to her. His narrowed gaze scrutinized her familiar profile trying to place it, as he kept his voice light and teasing. "Do you know something I don't know?"

"Yes." She turned to face him. Their eyes met. A knowing eyebrow rose. "Your brother."

When she turned and walked away with a inviting glance, he had no choice but to follow. He fell easily in step with her. As if they'd walked the same path before.

"You know Stefan? From where?"

"Oh, once upon a time in a place not so far away."

"Ah. That sounds like the beginning of a fairy tale."

"Or a nightmare." She quipped nonchalantly before turning in a new direction.

Caught off guard by her obvious dislike of Stefan, he pulled up short a moment and watched her move away from him. There was something about the way her light step quickly carried her to a large wooden swing hanging from the tall willow tree that registered oh-so-faintly in the back of his mind. He followed with more questions. "So which was it? A fairy tale? Or a nightmare?"

"Maybe a little of both."

Damon had a fifty-fifty chance at this point. Given past experiences, he went the most likely scenario. "Let me guess, you were in love with him and he broke your heart."

She chuckled, turned and lowered herself onto the swing. "On the contrary." Her flashing dark eyes met his in challenge. "I had a thing for his older brother, who didn't."

Something inside of Damon stirred. A vague, intangible thing that licked at the edges of his memory, but utterly failed to solidify.

"So, we do know each other." Even as he said it, he knew it was an understatement. As if by unspoken command, Damon stepped behind her and took each rope in hand with deliberate slowness. "You know, I'm a connoisseur of beautiful women and have an incredible memory where that particular subject is concerned." As he pulled her backwards, he waited until her ear was near his lips to complete his thought. "So, why don't I remember you?"

He let go and gave a push that sent her swinging forward. Her answer came back to him on the upswing. "Destiny, perhaps."

"Destiny? Or design?" He gave her another gentle push.

"A little of both it seems." She quipped when she returned to him.

And on it went. Question, answer. Quip. Retort. Downswing, upswing.

"You know what I'm asking."

Oh, she knew alright. Years, experience and a sense of his own allure had polished his style, but he was still as transparent as ever. At least to someone who knew who he was, what he was. She saw no point in toying with him. Too much.

"Yes, but since I'm human, you already know the answer."

So they weren't going to dance around the human-vampire issue. Ok. Fascinating. "Humans have other means of...alterations. And you _are_ enchanting..." He let the thought dangle, confident she would get double play on words.

She did. Chuckling at his subtle, but obvious, suggestion, Lily responded, "I'm not a witch."

Ok, so no compulsion. No spells. At least, not from her. If she was messing with his memories, she would need help.

Two down, one to go.

"So, Elijah. A friend of yours?"

"When the need suits his purpose."

"Did saving my life suit his purpose?"

"At the time."

"What about your purpose?"

"That's a little more complicated."

"I'm a complicated guy. I think I can handle it."

"Oh, no doubt." There was a hint of knowing in her voice. "After all, I've seen what you can handle."

Though their words were not overtly flirtatious, the back and forth banter, the intangible - and for Damon - unexplained link between them, drew a seductive line in the sand. And they both knew it. For the first time Damon could remember, it was a line he couldn't cross. He didn't want to.

Not because of the woman he was with.

But because of the one he wasn't.

Damon was the first to beat an emotional retreat. "Are you always this cryptic?"

And she let him. "Do you always ask so many questions?"

"Only when I really want to know something."

"And what is it you really want to know?"

"Too many things."

"Start with one. We'll see where it takes us."

Damon pulled the swing to a sudden stop in mid-air. "What am I the key to?"

Her softened gaze settle on the pond. For the first time, he saw a sadness in her eyes and felt something tugging at him. "If I said my heart, would you believe me?"

She hadn't intended on saying it. Yet, in that moment, there'd been nothing else she could say. No, _that_ answer to _that_ question would take time she simply didn't have. Besides, tonight was only the opening salvo and her moments with him were quickly coming to an end. A vision had told her that.

"Yes. Somehow, I think I would." Damon had no idea where that answer came from or why it came to him so quickly. But he wouldn't change it. He couldn't. He knew the truth of it like he knew his own name.

Slowly lowering the swing, Damon rounded it then stopped when he was in front of her. Their eyes met in unspoken understanding as he reached out his hand. When her fingers slipped into his, he pulled her to her feet, his eyes boring into her as if he could pull the answers out of her with a look. "But your heart isn't the answer to my question, is it?"

She smiled suddenly, brightly and sidestepped him and the issue altogether. "I've missed this."

"What?"

"You. Me." Her smile deepened and the sadness he'd seen in her eyes only moments before dissipated. "You were always quick with the one liners and brilliant at just being...you."

"And you liked that."

"Very much."

He tilted his head, his blue eyes taking her in. "Who _are_ you?"

"My name is Lily." She answered simply. "And we'll speak again. But for now, you have a heart to heal." A small knowing smile played on her lips. "Heal it well."

"What? What's that supposed to..."

"Damon! Damon, where are you?" A frantic whisper cut through the silence.

"Elena?" Damon's head whipped around and he was instantly in motion heading straight to the direction of her voice. They rounded the corner of a tall hedge at the same time. Only his lightening quick reflexes stopped her from colliding with him and falling. He stepped back, took one look at her and...

Everything else was forgotten.

Everything else fell away.

"Damon." The breathless way she said his name, the way her shining eyes were gazing up at him, how she instinctively gravitated toward him made Damon's heart skip an unsteady beat.

"Elena." His whisper shimmered with every word he'd never been able to say.

"I..." They both started at the same time then stopped abruptly.

And just stared. Breathless. Uncertain. Suddenly, overwhelmingly shy.

Raw, newly discovered emotions swirled around them. And held them in check.

Damon drank her in.

She was disheveled. Thin. Ashen. There were circles under her eyes and her long hair was pulled back into a careless ponytail leaving disobedient strands to dangle erratically around her face. Her mismatched clothes were rumpled and baggy. Her dark eyes were large and bright. Deep and expressive. Her full lips were red and trembling. There was a splash of color on her cheeks. Rosy under normal circumstances, it was blood red against the paleness of her skin.

She was beautiful. Beyond beautiful. The most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Elena couldn't see anything beyond him.

He'd always been dark and dangerous. Reckless. Impulsive. His fluid movements were imbued with a sense of confidence. Of coiled, barely controlled power. They still were. But standing there in front of her, there was so much more to him. He looked almost boyish. Innocent. Uncertain. His eyes had never looked so blue. So clear. Tiny shards of ice cut through fathomless depths making them sparkle and blaze with light. The warmth, the love, the naked longing in his eyes sent her heart spinning and dancing.

He was beautiful. Beyond beautiful. The most beautiful thing she'd ever seen.

There was so much to say. So many questions to ask and answer. So much to feel.

Damon was the first to speak. And when he did in was in the most adorable, heart-wrenching, uncharacteristic ramble Elena had ever seen.

"Look, before you say anything...I have something to say." He pulled in a steadying breath, released it then pulled in another and began. "I can only imagine how angry you are right now. Ric told me what happened after I left and...I, I am _so_ sorry, Elena. I promise, I had no idea that my leaving would make _any_ kind of difference. I mean, technically, I knew, but I didn't _know_. If I had, I would have done things differently. I would have...would have talked to you face-to-face. Explained things. Actually, I did do that. In a letter. You didn't get it, I know that now, and looking back, it was _incredibly_ stupid of me to just leave it..."

He stopped himself, shook his head and regrouped. "You know what? That doesn't matter now. What matters is _you_." His gaze softened, his voice trembled. "You saved my life, Elena. You fought me, _for _me in a way no one has in...so very long, and then I just..." He paused and swallowed the guilt that was filling his eyes. "God, you must have felt so abandoned. Especially after everything you've lost..."

That guilt turned to a plea. "Please believe me, the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. In fact, I was actually trying _not_ to. But as usual, I made a mess of things. You have every right to be mad at me. To hate me even. Hell, I pretty much hate me right now, so, you know, I completely understand if you never want to see me or speak to me ever again."

He pulled in another short breath, his monologue clearly winding down. "So, here it is. If you tell me to leave right now, right this minute, I'll do it and never come back. If you want to scream at me or hit me...stake me even, I'll pretty much stand here and take it." He swallowed hard. "Because after what I've done to you, after what you've done for me, that's the least I deserve."

A moment of silence settled over them.

"Are you done?" Elena's question was barely a whisper.

Uncertain of her reaction, Damon nodded silently and awaited his judgment. Everything in his life hinged on the next few moments. On her response. On her decision. He felt like a man standing condemned, waiting to be given a life sentence or the death penalty.

He almost wished for death.

Because if she hated him now...

What would be the point?

Elena was struggling to keep herself together. To not fly into his arms. To not cling to him in some crazed moment of sanity. Everything he'd said, all the emotions playing out in his expression...that such a tender soul had been so damaged, so rejected, so hurt...

It wounded her. Cut her. And made her bleed.

"I have just one question."

"Ok."

"Did you feel it?"

Elena unconsciously held her breath waiting for his answer.

Heart in his eyes, Damon didn't hesitate.

"Of course, I felt it, Elena. Every amazing second of it."

Elena swallowed not only the lump in her throat but the tears that sprang to her eyes.

Of all the things that she'd questioned and wondered and felt, the one that tortured her the most, that put a dull ache in the pit of her stomach, that made her doubt herself and everything she knew had come down to that one question. Had come down to why it had been so easy for him to walk away. Had he not felt the connection between them the way she had? And if he had, did it not turn his world upside down the way it had hers?

That she didn't even have to define 'it' not only spoke volumes, it _was_ the answer.

And the broken, jagged pieces of a heart that had shattered five weeks prior suddenly started to gather.

"So...you didn't leave because you were trying to deny it."

"What?" He actually seemed surprised by the assumption, as if the thought never once crossed his mind. When he spoke, she knew it hadn't. "No. No, Elena, I..." He took an unconscious step forward, his eyes locked on hers as he willed her to believe him. "I was trying to honor it."

She nearly crumbled at that.

And the pieces of her heart fell, one by one, back into place.

"You left a letter for me?"

Damon silently nodded.

"What did it say?"

An embarrassed blush spread over his cheeks. "A bunch of nonsense about how I..." He stopped himself from revealing too much. After all, he was still dangling over a pretty tall precipice. One word from her and he could very well plummet to his own metaphorical death. "It doesn't matter now." He took another step forward. "What does matter is...just how much do you hate me?"

Whatever Damon Salvatore had expected her answer to be, it wasn't what happened next.

Because Elena Gilbert launched herself into his arms and claimed his lips in a kiss that was so brutal, so pure, it could erase a thousand years of pain.

tbc...

* * *

><p>READ AT YOUR OWN RISK :)<p>

At the risk of giving too much away, let me just make a few clarifications on Lily/DE:

1) DE are not only end game, they're mid-game as well. :)

2) Lily isn't meant to be an obstacle to DE. I see her as a catalyst, and really think she already has been to a degree with saving his life and using Elena to do it, knowing the connection DE would form.

3) The use of the term 'destiny' is not always in a romantic sense.

4) Is there going to be a connection/understanding between Damon/Lily? Yes, of course there is. He was in love with her. He may not remember it at this point, but he was. So, he'll be attracted to the same characteristics that made him love her before. The question is will he act on that? Ummm...read number 1 - 3 above then wait and see. :)

5) Is Elena going to be threatened by Lily's presence? Ummm...read number 1-3 then wait and see. :)

I really hope that helps calm some fears. :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's note:** Hey everyone! I am truly, truly sorry this has taken so long. I never meant to leave you all hanging like that on this story. Real life has been seriously busy these past months with work and health issues then more work and more health issues. Plus, I really struggled with this chapter for some reason. Damon, Elena and I were having some arguments on how to get from point A to B in this one. But I think we're all on the same page now so ... I hope you enjoy our compromise. :)

Again, I'm sorry it took so long. I hope this makes up for the wait.

Enjoy! Let me know what you think! I write faster with encouragement! :)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

Damon Salvatore was no stranger to passion.

He'd known it in many ways. He'd felt the thrill of the hunt. The dizzying victory of the conquest. The rush of letting go. Of being swept up into something larger than himself. Something wild and uncontrollable. Primal and profound.

He'd felt it in many forms. In tangible things and fleeting moments. In impulsive, knee-jerk reactions and deliberately planned schemes. In thoughts and feelings. In flesh and blood.

He'd tasted it with many women. Some had been lightening-strike attractions that led to instant gratification and ended without a word. Some had lasted longer than a night, morphing into a give-and-take companionship. One had endured for nearly a century and a half.

No, Damon and passion were no strangers.

It had conquered him many times. And he, in turn, had lived his life on the edge of it even more than that.

But this kiss? This kiss took him over that edge and made him its willing slave. Because _this_ kiss held more passion than the sum of his lifetime had ever known.

For a split second, he was paralyzed. With doubt. With fear. With the impossibility of it all.

But only for a second.

One breath. One whimper. One shudder of surrender.

And Damon Salvatore sank into Elena like she was his favorite storm.

Fantastic colors exploded behind tightly closed eyes as Elena's bold, fierce kiss rocked him to his core. Like lightening striking. He was being split in two and singed along the edges of everything he was. The taste of her was seared into his memory. The feel of her soft body pressed against him sank into his skin and melted into his bones.

Her lips on his would have been enough to alter his life forever, but when her heated fingers slipped from his face and dove into his hair as her tongue brushed the seam of his lips, he was swept up into a whirlwind of impossible possibilities. Where fear was snuffed out like the flame of a candle. Where hopeless dreams came roaring to life. Where hard reality didn't exist.

Only her. Only him. Only the insanely perfect world they were creating, one fevered caress at a time.

He didn't try to reason or understand why Elena was kissing him as if the world were going to end. He forgot he had a brother. He didn't care that her humanity alone already doomed them to an inevitable good-bye. An electrifying intensity whipped around them, between them, inside of them, forcing them together like two undeniably destined magnets. Senses reeling, Damon's entire body raged with need as he eagerly race into the center of the storm again and again.

And again.

The moment their lips touched, Elena Gilbert knew she'd never been kissed.

Not like this. Not by anyone. Not ever.

Elena's felt as if her lips, her skin, her entire body, were on fire. Intense, pulsating, scorching fire. And God help her, she relished the burn. She reveled in it. Fueled it. Coursing with explosive energy, sensations were on overload. Doubling her relentless pursuit of the tangy sweetness of his mouth, Elena knew exactly where she wanted to live and breathe the rest of her life - in the depths of a Damon Salvatore kiss. A kiss that prodded and penetrated so deep that she felt her entire soul being found, crushed then put back together again more whole than it had ever been unbroken.

How long had she wanted this? Needed this? How long had this hunger been gnawing at her soul? Forever, it seemed. There was an empty space inside of her that had always been there. Had always been longing. Had always been waiting. For this moment. For this kiss.

For Damon.

She just hadn't known it before. Or maybe she had and the knowing had paralyzed her into denial. Into resistance. Into settling for less and claiming it was all she'd ever wanted.

Never again would she deny this. Never again would she pretend this fire between them didn't exist. She couldn't if she tried. She was consumed now. Branded as his.

Always and forever his.

Only the need for air ended the kiss. Elena leaned her forehead against his, her breathing labored, her admission a giddy, tremulous whisper. "God, I've wanted to do that for so much longer than I could ever admit..."

"I've wanted it even longer than that." Just as breathless, Damon's responded against a pair of swollen lips that hovered dangerously close to his.

"Damon, I..."

"Tell me this isn't real."

Elena's heart stopped. She pulled back to look into Damon's fragile expression.

"What?"

Eyes squeezed shut, he was trying to hold it together. Trying to not make a fool of himself. Again. "Tell me you're compelled and you don't know what you're doing. Tell me it's a dream that can't come true or a manipulation, some twisted trick someone's playing on me."

Ice trickled through her veins. There were so many reasons he could chose to resist this. To push her away. So many ways her own past choices could tarnish a beautiful moment and blunt their new start.

"Damon, look me."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because the last time we did this, we didn't. Because I can handle you not wanting me the way I want you. So tell me you don't and walk away before it's too late."

She knew he'd been hurt before. When he believed she'd given him the gift of returning his kiss only to find out he'd been tricked. Manipulated. Used as a pawn in one of Katherine's twisted games. Yes, she knew he'd been hurt. That much had been clear the night he came to her, upset and unstable, demanding she face the truth. The night he lashed out and did the unthinkable.

She cringed now to think of what she'd said and done at the time. Instead of easing his pain, she'd piled on. She'd taunted him with her denials. She'd pushed all his buttons by making him believe that everything between them was only a figment of his imagination. And that nothing more than friendship could ever exist between them.

Nothing had been further from the truth.

No, the truth was she'd been terrified. He could already see through her. Had been able to for so very long. One kiss, and she risked him knowing her completely. And that was something Elena Gilbert wasn't ready for.

Then.

But now she was.

"And if I can't do that? How will you handle it then?"

He was wrestling with the answer. She could see that clearly in his expression. In response to his silent struggle, Elena gently took his hands in hers. "You've always been the brave one, Damon. Be brave again and take a chance on me. Just this once. Please. Open your eyes."

For a moment the air around them grew unearthly still. For a moment, the universe came to a halt and held it's collective breath. For a moment, even the stars refused to twinkle. Then the soft flutter of long, dark lashes and the inevitable blue of his eyes filled her vision.

And the universe began to breathe again.

"Elena, I..."

"You're scared." Elena surmised softly. "I don't blame you. I've given you reason to be. And that's why you wanted me to say those things, isn't it?"

The slight nod was enough to break her heart. His averted gaze, did. "I've never been here before. I'm not the guy that gets what he wants, Elena. I've _never_ been _that_ guy. I don't know how to be."

A modicum of relief swept through her. A smile flared in her eyes and filtered into her expression. "Well, then..." She pressed herself into him, her gaze fastened to his lips. "...I guess that's just something we're going to have to work on, isn't it?"

For Damon, some semblance of reason began to return. Everything that kiss erased came rushing back with a vengeance. Stefan. His brother, her love. All of the times he'd watched them together. All the times he had tasted her censure, felt her disapproval. All of the ways he'd been compared to the impossible and had been found lacking.

He couldn't go there again. He wouldn't.

Because, after all, there's only so much a man can take.

Damon pulled back. "Elena, I'm serious."

"So am I..."

Her lips barely brushed his. This time, Damon didn't yield. It took all of his willpower, but somehow he managed to unhook her arms from around his neck and took a determined step back. His questioning gaze met hers.

"What are we doing?"

"Getting you used to getting what you want." She stubbornly reached out for him only to have the distance between them grow.

"Elena..."

The warning in his voice made her shiver. Not from fear, or doubts or hurt. She thrilled to the challenge underpinning his protest and savored the push and pull that was intrinsically _them_. Something deep inside of her clicked into place. That piece that had been missing in all of her other relationships. That friction, that spark that set everything ablaze. That familiarity that she could nestle into and call home.

Kissing him had been a risk. With everything that had happened between them and all that hadn't, with every word they'd said to each other and all that remained unspoken, Damon's reaction was as unpredictable as the vampire himself. He could have pushed her away. He could have held onto her and never let go. He could have flipped the switch on his emotions and slipped back into the darkness she was just beginning to understand.

Instead, he was still standing there. Cautious, yes. But still there. Still open and willing to be won.

She readied herself with the answers waiting at the end of the questions standing between them, then denied his very request with the truth. "Damon, I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear because it would be a lie. And I've lied to you, to myself, to everyone long enough."

"What lie?"

"You already know."

"Well, maybe I need to hear it."

"Then say it."

She wasn't being cruel. He knew that. Her challenge was a test of sorts. A way to see how many of her denials had actually gotten through to him and buried themselves so deep in his heart that he was now having trouble accepting this twist in their tale. She was daring him to challenge her. Begging for a chance to answer each and every accusation he could lay at her feet.

And he was begging for the chance to be convinced.

"Alright." His shoulders squared unconsciously, gathered his courage and dove into the challenge. "There's nothing between us."

Elena didn't hesitate. Or pause to form and answer. After all, that was one of the first lies she herself had to face.

"There's been something between us since the day we met and you know it. A connection, Damon. An understanding...an attraction. It's been so intense sometimes, it terrified me. So I tried to deny it. I tried to walk away. I even tried hating you out of my system, but Damon..." Her sigh was one of defeat wrapped in triumph. "...I can't. I never could, and I never will."

He parried her explanation with a nonchalant shrug. "But you wouldn't walk away from any of your friends. And after all, that _is_ all we are, right? Just friends?"

She bit back an amused smile and hitched a knowing eyebrow. "I stopped being just your friend at least five weeks ago. Given how strongly I felt when I realized that, I suspect I haven't been 'just your friend' for a while now. Besides..." A coy smile played on her lips as her gaze dropped to a pair of lips she could still feel against hers, even removed by time and distance. "...that kiss just now? Last time I checked, friends don't kiss like that."

There was a crack in his stalwart expression, a flare of warmth in his eyes. "You were so sure you'd never kiss me back."

"It's easy to be sure of things when your head is in the sand and your eyes are closed to the truth. Which, I must admit, mine have been for quite a while now. But not any more."

"No?" There was hope in his doubt.

Elena shook her head. "No." With each answer she was closing the distance she'd put between them. But she still had a ways to go. She tried another tact. "But...if that's not enough for you and a demonstration is in order..." A suggestive smile played on her lips. "...I'm more than willing to..."

"It'll always be Stefan."

And there it was. The crux of the matter. The wall that had always been between them. The doubts so clearly expressed in his eyes. The hurt etched in his expression.

The smile faded from Elena's face. She took a slow step toward Damon then paused to gauge his reaction. He tensed, and held his breath. But he didn't move away. She took another step. And another until she was just a whisper away.

As she gazed up into his eyes, she willed him to feel the sincerity of her heartfelt words.

"Maybe for the girl I used to be, that was true. But she's no longer here."

"Then who is?" His question was so soft, she barely heard it.

Slowly, deliberately taking his face in her hands, Elena's gentle words became a plea. To be believed. To be trusted. "The Elena _you_ brought to life. Everything has changed, Damon. _Everything_.This is _nothing_ like the last time. Or the past year for that matter. This is _me_. This _is_ real, and it's not going away. All you have to do is believe it."

"And if I don't?"

He wanted to so badly. She could see it in his eyes. She could feel it in the way he gravitated toward her.

"If after everything that's happened, all that you know and everything you've felt, if you still don't believe me...well then...you're an ass."

Elena's unexpected reply was delivered with a nonchalant shrug and a playful wink.

Laughter exploded in Damon's eyes and crumbled his expression. He should have known she'd be able to see right through him. To cut through the facade and own the heart that had been hers longer than either had known. He bit back a chuckle. "I thought you were done lying."

"Ohhh, Damon, that one's never been a lie." Elena replied flippantly as she grinned up at him, the thrill of victory surging through her.

Damon smirked. "Good. I wouldn't want you to start thinking I'm a saint."

"Believe me, there's no chance of that." Her gaze caressed his features as her smile gentled. "I know exactly who you are, Damon Salvatore. You've never hidden yourself from me. And you've always told me the truth, even when I didn't want to hear it." Her smile deepened. "You know, I'm not sure I would have realized that if you hadn't almost died. If you hadn't left. So...thank you for that."

"I take it I'm forgiven then?"

"On one condition."

Damon's exaggerated sigh was accompanied with a roll of his eyes. "You and your conditions. I already stayed alive for you. What more could you possibly want?"

There was silence. Then, there was the unexpected.

"_Your _forgiveness."

"My..." Stunned, Damon's eyes narrowed. "What for?"

"I've been so wrong, about so many things. Life, love. Me, us...but mostly..." Her hands dropped to his chest. To his heart. To the part of him she'd underestimated the most. "I've been wrong about...you."

"Elena..."

Staving off his protest, Elena rushed into her confession. "I've blamed you and misjudged you too many times to count. I haven't listened to the words you couldn't say or understood the motives you couldn't explain. I've watched you, Damon, but I haven't seen. And if I had, if I'd just taken the time..."

"Elena, stop." Damon placed a gentle finger against her lips. "You did." A smile ghosted his lips and warmed his eyes. "Don't you get it? You were the _only_ one who did. You saw beyond who I was to who I could be and found something in me worth saving. So, thank _you _for _that_."

"So, I take it I'm forgiven then?" Repeating his question from before, Elena's voice broke as a sheen of tears brightened her eyes.

"Before you even asked." Damon answered gently.

The smile she gave him in response was radiant. In fact, _she_ was radiant. In all the time they'd spent together, in all the ways he'd seen her, he'd never seen her shine so brightly or glow so warmly.

_He_ did that to her. It was a fact now. Not just a dream or a hope. But a living, breathing example of how a simple word from him could delight her. Move her. Transform her.

Which brought on other facts. Troubling facts with troubling consequences.

Uncertainty filtered through his gaze. "Elena, about this, about us...I'm not sure we should..."

A stubborn shake of her head and a defiant tilt of her chin indicated she'd been prepared for this. "If you're going to tell me we can't be together, that this will never work just...don't. Not tonight. I'll listen to all of your arguments, all of your reasons tomorrow. But tonight, Damon...I just got you back. I need to be with you. Don't run away from this. Please."

"And what is this?" Damon questioned softly, his heart open and bare. "I didn't lie to you. I felt it, just like you did. And that kiss..." He blew out a sigh. "You're right. Friends don't kiss like that. But I don't know what it all means. Do you?" Cupping her face in his hands, Damon's penetrating gaze sought her understanding. "I'm not trying to hurt you, Elena, and I'm not trying to run away, but when I left five weeks ago you were...his."

"And now I'm not. Damon, Stefan and I are over." She paused a moment to let that sink in. "Look, I know this is a lot, and that I've done a 180 on you. I'm sure you have a lot of questions. So much has happened that I want to share with you, and I promise I will. I'll tell you everything..."

"But?"

"But for now, can we just..."

"Trust this? Not even knowing where it's going or how long it will last?"

"Yeah." Elena whispered with a nod of her head. "I know I can. But can you?"

"I don't know." Damon answered honestly. A smile touched his lips as his gaze lowered to hers. "But I sure would like to try."

"Well, then..." A coy smile curved her lips as her hungry gaze dropped to his lips, the invitation obvious. "...try."

Damon didn't hesitate.

This time the kiss was achingly slow and tantalizingly sweet.

So sweet it made her heart weep. So slow, she felt as if she were being savored. Worshipped. Coaxed. Drawn into something larger than herself. Something deep and profound. Something true. Pure. Real.

And for a moment the air around them grew unearthly still. For a moment, the universe came to a halt and held it's collective breath. For a moment, the moon's soft glow embraced them and the stars exploded in silent celebration.

For a moment, two souls stood still, facing each other. Naked, raw emotion whipped around them as a shimmering cord, as delicate as gossamer and as strong as a steel, extended from one heart to the other...

A loud, slow clap broke the spell around them. Then another. And another.

"Well, well, well. What a touching reunion."

Startled, Elena and Damon broke apart and turned toward the intruder.

"Stefan."

"Hello, brother." Stefan responded with a tight smile. "I hope you enjoyed yourself. I really do." Standing in front of them, Stefan's haughty gaze switched from one to the other then back again. "Because if you think this is going to last, well..." His harsh chuckle was harsh and jarring in the stillness of the night. "...let's just say you couldn't be more wrong."

tbc...


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's note: **I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am that it's taken this long to get something new to you on this story. Real life has been unbearably real with looong hours at work and no time for creative Delena time. This chapter is short but the next one should be out very, very soon.

Thank you all so very much for hanging in there with me on this story. I truly appreciate your patience, continued interest and feedback.

Hope you enjoy and I'd love to hear what you think, so please, please review! (BTW, if you like Stefan, this may not be the chapter for you!) :)

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><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

An uncomfortable silence hung over them like a heavy cloud.

A smug Stefan stood in silent condemnation. A tense Damon shifted uncomfortably. A determined Elena stood her ground.

She, in fact, was the first to speak.

"Stefan. How long have you been standing there?"

Stefan shrugged. "Long enough for you to prove what a liar you are."

"Why you..." Damon took a step forward as if to confront Stefan.

A restraining hand on his arm held him back. "No, Damon, don't. This is between Stefan and me. I'd like to hear what he has to say." There was a pause then Elena amended her statement. "I'd like us both to."

For a moment, Damon hesitated. This had the potential to go very bad, very quickly. After all, Damon was no stranger to the varied shades of Stefan, the resident Saint of Mystic Falls. Every instinct in him screamed to whisk Elena away from any potential nastiness. But then his eyes met hers and her need to be trusted overcame his desire to take control. With a curt nod of his head he slipped back into place beside her, compliant but wary.

Intensely aware that everything she did and said in this moment was being assessed, analyzed and cataloged by not just one, but both brothers, Elena did the only thing she could. She ran a deliberate hand down Damon's arm and slipped it into his.

Signaling their unity.

Declaring her choice.

A surprised Damon looked down at their entwined fingers then up at her with questioning awe in his eyes. Elena smiled in return and gently squeezed his hand in reassurance. Stefan's gaze flicked downward, his face growing hard.

"So, you think I've lied." Elena then turned to Stefan with a tempered challenge. "And how exactly have I done that?"

"You said our break up had nothing to do with him."

"It didn't."

"I see." Stefan declared, nodding with heavy brows furrowed in contemplation. "So that must be why he's in town all of two seconds before you've attached yourself to his lips. Is that how this honesty thing works?"

"I care for him, Stefan. I've _missed_ him. To _not_ kiss him..._that_ would have been the lie."

If Stefan had been capable of rolling his eyes, he would have. Instead, he smirked with knowing superiority. "Listen to yourself. You can't even say it."

"Say what?"

"That you _love_ him." Stefan paused to let that sink in. Then he added a level of cynicism to his point. "Maybe, Elena, that's because you don't."

"And maybe it's because when I do say it, I don't want an audience." Elena retorted unexpectedly and without hesitation. She heard rather than saw Damon's sharp intake of breath. Felt rather than heard the hard swallow. Oh, this one was definitely coming back up in conversation. Later. When they were alone.

But for now, Elena focused on getting through the next few minutes without making any major missteps. Or inflicting unintended damage on either brother. "Listen, Stefan, I can only imagine how this looks. And I'm sure it's hard for you to believe, but what's happening between Damon and me has nothing to do with you."

"Another lie."

Elena dismissed his accusation by turning the tables. "And what about you? You said you understood. That you could let me go because you wanted me to be happy."

"What can I say?" Stefan replied flippantly. "I lied too."

"Well, then..." A calm Elena looked the truth in the eyes. "...I guess that's just one more reason for us not to be together." Elena's expression softened as she tried to reach across the emotional distance between them. "Stefan, I don't want to hurt you. I_ never_ wanted to hurt you, but things have changed. _I_ have changed. I can't deny my feelings any more. It wouldn't be fair to any of us if I did. And you know as well as I do that you and I...we haven't been _us_ for a for a while now."

"At least _us_ worked. At least _us _was right. But this? With him?" Stefan's half-chuckle was anything but joyful. "Don't kid yourself, Elena. In the end of...whatever this is...there will only be two people standing - you and me."

For the first time, the conversation pulled Damon in. "Is that a threat, brother?"

"No. It's a fact." Stefan turned his attention to Damon, his head tilted as if taking him in, assessing him. The disgusted curl of his lips indicated all he could see in his brother was a metaphorical piece of trash. "I had a plan, you know. A grand scheme to keep you away from her. To save her from your influence." Stefan shrugged away his failure. "But now that you're here, now that I see you together, I realize that I don't have to do anything. As usual, you'll self-destruct on your own. All I have to do is wait you out."

"Really. And what then?"

"What else? I'll clean up your mess and Elena will be mine again. As it should be. The hardest part will be the guilt she'll feel for ever letting you close enough for this to happen."

"Close enough? For what to happen?" Elena questioned, sensing a much deeper implication in his words. "Stefan, what are you talking about?"

Stefan nodded in Damon's direction. "He knows."

Elena turned to Damon in confusion. "Damon?"

Suddenly, a lot of things made a lot more sense. The things Ric told him about how his leaving had sent Elena spiraling downward. About Stefan's increasingly desperate plans to bring her back from the edge. And now, Stefan's twisted view of the current state of things.

Damon's answer came as realization slowly took him over. "He thinks I compelled you. Because as far as Stefan can see, that's the only way you'd want to be with me. Or save my life for that matter. Isn't that right, Stefan?"

The self-satisfied smirk on Stefan's face was answer enough.

"That's ridiculous." Elena declared. "Damon didn't compel me to do anything. And why would he even have to? I would have tried to save him no matter what. How do you not know that about me?"

"Saving him, Elena, I never questioned. It was how you did it."

"How I..." As if in answer to Elena's question, her wrist began its familiar tingle. And now, Elena joined Damon in understanding. "Because I let him drink from me."

"And because you risked your life doing it." Stefan added, clearly not disputing her. "You know he isn't worth it, right? Do you have any idea how many people he's killed? Or how many women he' s been with? Women that he's compelled to be his little playthings? No matter what he says, don't think you're special, Elena. You're just his latest in a very, very long string."

"You're wrong, Stefan. So very wrong." Elena stated with a confidence that resonated with both brothers.

"Am I?" Stefan's lips curved into a malicious smile. "Alright. Just for the sake of argument, let's say that I am. That Damon didn't compel you. That he's actually worth it. That doesn't mean these suddenly altered feelings of yours aren't a result of his direct and deliberate influence."

Increasingly frustrated with Stefan's cryptic allegations, Elena's tone sharpened. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Letting a vampire drink that deeply can form a connection, Elena. It can leave this intense craving inside of you. Like a drug. You can't eat or sleep or breathe for want of them. Their teeth in your flesh, that rush when they drink – that's what makes you feel whole again. Their wish is your command. Anything they want - _anything_ - you give it to them. It's called a blood bond. And when vampires choose to form one..." He left the rest unsaid. "Let's just say, in comparison, being compelled is child's play. Isn't that right, brother?"

"You're kidding, right? We've been over this, Stefan. Blood bonds are just a myth. And even if they aren't..." Damon responded through narrowed eyes. "...I sure as hell didn't do what you're suggesting."

"Of course, you didn't." Stefan droned his agreement. "That's why Elena's been lost without you these past weeks. That's why nothing has satisfied her, nothing has pacified her. Nothing has come close to making her feel alive." His gaze shifted to Elena. "Or have I misinterpreted all the times you've touched that bite on your wrist?"

Damon turned a scrutinizing gaze on Elena, immediately drawn to the bite still evident on her exposed wrist. Doubt clouded Damon's eyes as they flicked to Elena's face.

Elena saw that look and immediately rejected the implications of Stefan's accusations. As much for Damon as herself. She could not – would not – let Stefan ruin what she and Damon had started. Not here. Not tonight.

"Damon's right. He didn't do what you said."

"Of course you'd say that, Elena. Because it's what he'd _want_ you to believe."

"Ok, I've heard enough. You don't know what you're talking about and we're done here." Elena turned to Damon and inclined her head toward the path that led to their inevitable escape. "You ready?"

Damon hesitated, his jaw frantically working an outward indication of his inward struggle. What if what Stefan said was true? What if, by some chance, he had done something to Elena? Something that made her...different. It would explain the kiss, the things she'd said to him, the 180 change in relationship directions...

Her soft hand touched his face. Her deep eyes pleaded with him. "Damon, please. Trust me. It isn't what he thinks."

Maybe there was something in her eyes that convinced him. Or maybe he wanted to be convinced. Either way, Damon finally nodded his agreement, then together, they turned and, hand in hand, began walking away.

"What? Leaving so soon?" Stefan called out after the retreating couple. "I'm just trying to be honest, Elena. After all, that's what you wanted, right? When you broke up with me wasn't that the whole point? Living a life of honesty?"

Stefan super sped his way in front of them, stopping them dead in their tracks. His entire focus was on Elena. "Well, let me help you out with that."

In a swift and unexpected move, Stefan rammed Damon back against the nearest tree. A hidden stake made its brief appearance before Stefan buried it deep in Damon's stomach.

tbc...


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks to everyone for their reviews, alerts, favorites, etc! It means the world to have your continued interest and support on this story.

After the finale we had, I'm sure this chapter will seem like things don't bode well for our couple. Please know I have a plan that leads straight to Delena. :) There will be a few bumps coming up but they are necessary bumps and I think you'll enjoy the end result. At least I hope you will.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy and I'd love to hear what you think!

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><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

Everything happened so fast. And moved in slow motion.

Damon's back hit the tree. The stake disappeared just under his rib cage. There was the smell of vervain and burning flesh.

But it was his gut-wrenching cry of pain that catapulted Elena into action.

"Stefan, no!" Elena screamed as she rushed forward then stopped short, horrified, when Stefan pulled the stake out of Damon and drove it home again. "Stop, please! Don't hurt him!"

"Stay where you are and I won't!" Stefan commanded, then added almost to himself, "Anymore than I have to, that is."

"Elena, go." Damon groaned. "Go! Now!"

She knew she should listen to him. That she should run and get help. Instead, Elena was paralyzed.

By fear.

She had been here before. Pleading for him, his life, his safety. Trying to protect him from harm.

By shock.

Never had she ever dreamed the danger would come from his own flesh and blood. From someone she loved. From someone who loved them both.

By indecision.

How could she leave when he was suffering? When every cry of pain ripped straight through her and rattled her bones? How could she run when he needed her? When she needed him?

Those questions went unanswered because, above all...

She was paralyzed by love.

"Stefan, please..." Elena began to plead. Though her words were to Stefan, her entire focus was on Damon's face, twisted in pain, struggling not to show it. "Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?"

"From you?" For a moment Stefan appeared genuinely confused. "I don't want anything from you, Elena. Don't you see? I'm trying to save you. From him. From what he's done to you. So that we can be together again."

"Stefan, no, listen to me..."

But Stefan was beyond listening to anything but the voice in his head urging him on.

He turned to Damon, a cruel smile twisting his lips. "And you. You just couldn't help yourself, could you? From the moment you stepped foot in Mystic Falls you've been insinuating yourself into her life, trying to take away the one person in this world that actually gives me hope that I don't have to be a..."

"A what? A vampire?"

"No. A monster. Like you."

Damon nonchalantly chuckled in the face of Stefan's loathing. "Sorry to be your mirror, brother."

Stefan's eyes narrowed dangerously as he jabbed the stake in further, snapping a few bones in the process.

Elena gasped at the sound.

Damon's face blanched then drained of all color.

Stefan continued, unabated.

"Tell me. How exactly did you see this plan of yours going, huh? She's human. One, by the way, that didn't want to turn for me. And I can promise you, brother, if she won't for me, she certainly won't for you. So, what then? I know you. You don't have the patience to love her the way she deserves. Or the control. One day you'll snap and kill her. Or turn her against her will. You've already tried to do it once..."

A snarky response was poised, but turned to a grunt when the stake twisted deeper into Damon's gut. Desperate to take action, to stop the unthinkable from playing out before her eyes, Elena began looking around for something - anything - she could use as a weapon.

"Besides, I know what you like in a woman. You like sparks and spunk and fireworks. Just like you had with Katherine. Believe me, she may wear Katherine's face, but she's nothing like her in that department. You'll be bored after a night."

"Stefan!"

"What?" Stefan answered Elena's shocked gasp with a shrug. "Not really a reflection on you, Elena."

"Screw you." Damon spat out through clenched teeth.

Stefan chuckled then. "She already did."

With a roar, Damon mustered all his strength and pushed Stefan back with one mighty blow. He yanked the stake out of his stomach with a groan, tossed it to the side then turned his sights on his brother with fury in his eyes.

Stefan merely smirked then disappeared.

A weakened Damon took a step forward to pursue him, but fell to his knees instead.

"Damon!" Elena immediately rushed to his side, her shaking hands were everywhere. His face, his hair, his neck, his wounds. "Damon, are you alright?"

Eyes scanning the woods through the growing darkness, Damon focused on the physical pain his brother inflicted and not the verbal jabs that pierced deeper than he cared to admit. "Where'd he go?"

A new agony rose up before Elena like a ghost. She knew that tone. She knew that look. "No. No, Damon, please, don't. He's gone and you…you can't possibly face him like this. Let's go. Please. Before he comes back..."

"I can't." Damon shook his head and turned his full attention on Elena, his intentions clear. "You need to find Ric, ok? Find him, go home and lock the doors. I mean it, Elena. Don't let anyone in. Especially Stefan."

An irrational fear gripped Elena so tightly, she couldn't breathe. She was going to lose him tonight. She didn't know how, she didn't know when. But she knew it as well as she knew her own name. He was going to slip away from her. Just when she'd learned to hold on.

"No, no, Damon, I'm not leaving you."

By the way she was clinging to him, he believed her.

Damon pulled in a ragged breath and focused on calming Elena. She would never leave him to do what he had to until she understood what was at stake. "Elena, listen, listen, ok? My brother is teetering on the edge of crazy right now. Because of what happed between us. Now I've got to find a way to reel him back in and I don't want you here when I do."

"And I don't want you either of you hurt!"

"Well, it's too late for that." He cupped her face and willed her to understand. "Please, Elena. I can't deal with him and worry about you at the same time. You have no idea what he's capable of when he's like this. Now, find Ric and get the hell out of here."

"I...can't." Tears filled her eyes. The panic Elena was feeling made her voice shake and her heart shiver. "Not without you."

"And I can't leave. Elena…" Damon swallowed hard. "…he's my brother."

Resolve slipped through her expression as she blinked back her tears. "Then we'll help him together."

Damon shook his head. "No, you don't understand. Us together right now is the last thing Stefan needs."

"Then I'll do it."

"_Absolutely_ not."

"Damon, it's the only way." Elena reasoned, a sudden confidence beginning to take her over. "He won't hurt me. I know he won't." His dubious expression coaxed her onward. "Think about it. Because of what he thinks, that you forced some kind of compulsion on me, you're the focus of his anger right now. But to him, I'm the victim. I'll be safe." She gathered his face her hands. "Damon, please. I_ know_ I'll be safe."

"Elena…"

"He wants me back, right?" She didn't wait for his response. "He won't hurt me."

"And I won't take that chance." Damon's voice was so soft she barely heard him. "I can't."

"She's right, you know." Stefan appeared suddenly, standing over them, looking down in contempt and judgment. "_I _would never hurt her. _You_, on the other hand…" Before Damon could make a move, Stefan stabbed him with a stake. Again. In the back.

Damon doubled over with a cry of pain, immobilized. Stefan continued, unfazed by his brother's agony or Elena's obvious distress. He turned his attention to her. While the words still cut, the venom reserved for Damon waned with each passing second.

"I'm sorry, Elena. I'm sorry you've had to see this. But it's for your own good." Justifying his actions, Stefan continued. "You know he'll never make you happy, right? He isn't capable. He doesn't have it in him to love or trust or be anything you hope he'll be. He ruins everything he touches and you, Elena, will be his greatest victim. But deep down inside you already know that, don't you? You're the one that said his love is twisted and sad. _You're_ the one, Elena, that said he didn't even know what love is."

Elena felt as if she'd been slapped in the face with her own foolishness. A contrast between the things she'd thought and said, her own past assumptions and corresponding choices and the reality staring her in the face could not have been more stark.

Stefan's words had an effect on Damon as well. His gaze met hers, broken and full of injury that went way beyond the physical.

"Stefan, please stop."

"Truth hurts, doesn't it?"

"You're twisting my words."

"Am I?" Stefan challenged. "Elena, you know he's only interested in you because he's never had you, right? Because you're mine. If I was anyone else, he wouldn't care. But because you belong to me, he has to take you away. It's the challenge of his life, you see. First, it was my toys. Then Katherine. You just happen to be the latest shiny object."

"What's happened to you?" Elena's voice broke with emotion as she watched the brother she once loved turn into a stranger she didn't know. "Why are saying these cruel, awful things?"

"Because...he's high...on human blood, that's why." Damon said through clenched teeth. "Or compelled. I can't tell which."

"It's true, you know. I have been...indulging. No compulsion necessary." With a careless shrug, Stefan's confession was complete. "But that's not really why. Don't you see, Elena? It's because I love you so much. And I know things have changed between us, Elena, but if they changed once, they can change again, right? All we need is some time together. And distance. From him and his influence..."

As Stefan droned on, Elena's gaze met Damon's through a sheen of fresh tears. She was powerless. Powerless to end Damon's pain. Powerless to stop Stefan's anger. Powerless to say or do anything short of a complete and utter capitulation.

Powerless because she alone was the reason this was happening.

Unless...

_Us together right now is the last thing Stefan needs._

"...and it's because I love you that I have to protect you. That's all I'm trying to do, Elena. Just protect you…"

The time for debating and discussion was over. She knew now what she had to do. She only hoped Damon would understand. That he would see the fine line between surrender and sacrifice. Between lies and truth. That he would hear the intent of her heart and not just the words of the moment.

"You have protected me." A desperate calm settled over Elena as her gaze caressed Damon's face. "So many times."

_Now it's my turn. _

Elena squeezed the hand she was holding, hoping Damon would understand her silent message as she turned to Stefan, and looked beyond the stranger before her to the man that still meant so much to her. She saw past the anger to the hurt at the root of his actions. Guilt and regret hit her like a tidal wave. Her expression softened, as renewed compassion flooded her heart.

"This is all my fault. I have done this...all wrong." She paused, an instant replay of the past weeks skipped through her mind. "All you wanted to do was help me. Love me. But I pushed you away. I shut you out. God, you must have been so hurt and confused. You still are. I am...so sorry that I didn't talk to you, Stefan. Or listen when you asked me to give us another chance."

"Elena, don't..." Regret washed over Damon as he watched Elena shoulder the blame for what he put into motion when he came back to Mystic Falls. He knew where she was going with this and it pained him more than the stake in his back. "Don't do this..."

But she couldn't stop. She was getting through to him. She could see it. Sense it. The balance of power was shifting. She was gaining control. And control meant one thing.

The end of Damon's suffering.

She pushed herself off the ground and took a cautious step forward, hands up in surrender. Damon remained between them, like the proverbial line in the sand.

"But I'm listening now. So why don't you just...just let him go and you and I, Stefan, we can go home and talk. Just the two of us. Whatever you think has happened...whatever you're feeling...we can figure this out together, ok? Just like we we've done before."

Stefan's head tilted in contemplation. "Can we?"

"Yes, yes, of course we can." Elena soothed eagerly.

"Do you really mean it? That we could just...be like we use to be?"

"We can...we can...try." Elena choked out the words, her gaze, full of guilt and regret and a breaking heart, shifted to Damon. He refused to meet her gaze. She swallowed hard and continued. "But you _have_ to let Damon go first."

Stefan paused a moment taking in her words, gauging her sincerity. She could be tricking him. Holding out a promise to gain Damon's release. Or maybe, just maybe she was beginning to see the light. No matter the reason, it was the first time in weeks that he'd had her full attention. He wasn't going to waste the opportunity.

Or trust blindly.

"Alright, then. I'll let him go. But you have to promise me something first."

"Alright." Elena answered cautiously.

"Go away with me. Alone. Just a short trip. Maybe to the lake..." He saw the hesitation in her eyes and redoubled his efforts. "If you really mean what you say, Elena, if you're not just trying to save him right now, you'll agree to come with me and work things out."

Elena swallowed hard and answered with a curt nod. "Now, please let him go."

But Stefan wasn't through with her yet. "Not until you answer one question. And believe me, I _will_ know if you're lying."

A kind of dread settled over Elena. Her hands began to sweat. Her heart skipped a beat. The breath in her lungs froze.

For the love of one brother, Elena Gilbert steeled herself to lie through the truth.

"What's that?"

"Do you still love me?"

Damon's eyes drifted closed in defeat. Not that he didn't already know the answer. He'd just hoped, beyond hope it seemed, that he wouldn't have to hear it again. Or that when he did, it wouldn't rip his world apart.

Elena didn't hesitate. "Of course, I still love you, Stefan. I will always love you."

_And there it is. _Damon felt the word cut through his heart like a knife.

Crystal blue eyes opened to find a new focus in the distance. A woman hidden behind a nearby tree. Her dark eyes met his. With a slight shake of her heart and a finger against her lips, she warned Damon to remain silent. Then she looked to something or someone beyond him.

Beyond them all. With one nod, it was all over.

Stefan fell to the ground behind Damon with a thud. Elena gasped at the suddenness of it, her gaze shifting to the woman standing over both brothers.

"Katherine?"

Katherine's dark eyes flicked upward to meet Elena's before she turned her focus to Damon. Stepping over Stefan and dropping to one knee, she quickly pulled the stake out of Damon's back. "You know you really need to stop owing me. One day I might actually collect."

Damon's half-chuckle, half-groan broke the seriousness of the moment. "I would expect nothing less."

Still in shock, Elena was staring at Stefan's lifeless body. "What did you do to him?"

Katherine held up a syringe as explanation. "Vervain. He'll be out for hours."

"Thank you."

It took a moment for Elena to realize Damon wasn't speaking to Katherine. Or her. Her gaze followed his to the woman who had approached in silence behind her.

"Lily?"

Lily inclined her head in graceful acceptance of Damon's gratitude. A nonchalant shrug. An ironic smile. "Don't thank me. Thank..."

"...destiny."

Damon's soft voice had joined hers in perfect harmony, his gaze dazed and distant.

As if he were hearing another voice from another time.

The smile slide from Lily's lips. "How did you..."

Their gazes met and held.

Confusion mixed with awe and melted into an intangible connection, pulled from the distant past into the present.

It was only for a moment.

But it was a moment that stayed with Elena long after it was gone.

tbc...


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: ****Hey all - I meant to get this to you sooo much sooner, but the hard drive on my computer went kaplooey, so I've been doing a lot of file shuffing. :(**

**Anyway, here's the next chapter. I didn't address a lot of the emotional issues between Elena/Damon in this one, but that will be coming soon. They have some things to deal with and realize, but it'll all work out in the end. And - I hope - will be worth some of their current struggles. **

**Thank you for your continued support and interest in this story. Please review as it helps me write faster and it also helps me know what you're thinking! Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

With Stefan vervained and safely locked away in the cellar, Katherine Pierce to guard him and Caroline Forbes to console him, another team meeting had been called in the study of the Salvatore home.

This time with a different purpose. This time, with a different leader.

"So. Just how long has Stefan been guzzling human blood?" Arms crossed over his chest, Damon's questioning gaze moved from face to face.

Ric, Jeremy, and Tyler sat on the couch in front of him. Bonnie and Elena, however, were on either side of Damon - and the room. Like two opposing factions that had not yet taken up arms.

Perhaps because they didn't yet know they were at war.

Casually leaning against the back of the leather chair to Damon's left, Bonnie's gaze shifted between Jeremy, the books on the shelf opposite her, and the rug under Damon's feet. Anywhere except Damon or Elena, the two people she'd helped keep apart for the past several weeks.

With her back to the group, Elena stood staring, unseeing, out the paned-glass window, a finger absently tracing the lips that still burned with Damon's kiss.

Partly because she didn't want to face them - her friends, her family - who were once again pulled into the center of a crisis because of her. Partly out of pride. She stubbornly refused to lose a public battle against the tears she'd been on the verge of losing for the past few hours. And partly because she simply didn't want to forget that moment. That moment when it felt like she and Damon were two halves of one glorious, chaotic whole.

No, she didn't want to forget that at all. She wanted to savor it. Cherish it. Cling to it.

Because only Fate knew when she'd ever feel that way again.

Or if.

She'd been right. Damon was slipping away from her.

Not that he'd done anything overt to push her away. He hadn't. But he hadn't actively embraced her either. In fact, he'd done nothing at all. He didn't look at her, he barely spoke to her, and except for a brief moment of concern, he hadn't touched her.

Not that he could do much, given the circumstances.

Between the immediate need to tend his wounds until he'd properly healed, finding a way to transport Stefan to the boarding house unseen and calling this emergency meeting, Damon was all command and control, leaving precious little time for he and Elena to be alone, let alone talk. And when they did speak, they were cautious with each other. And even more cautious with their words.

It was as if they were each holding their breath. Waiting for that fragile _something _between them to either solidify into a tangible hope they could both cling to or shatter into nothing that would ever be again.

Not that she blamed him.

Elena tried to pinpoint the exact moment it happened. When their connection began to severe. When the doubts he'd previously expressed took up permanent residence in his eyes. But, honestly? There were too many to count.

It could have been the result of one of Stefan's many accusations. Or when Stefan cruelly reminded her of the things a foolish girl had said in a moment of confusion and uncertainty.

Or perhaps it was that intangible moment between Damon and Lily that had seared itself into Elena's memory. For the connection it sparked. For the past it hinted at. For the love it conjured.

Or it could have been her own desperate actions. By reaching out to Stefan, attempting to pull him back from a dangerous edge, she had made a choice. It didn't matter that she did it for Damon. In his eyes, she'd defied his wishes. In his eyes, she had chosen Stefan over him once again.

And now, she simply didn't know what any of it meant. For her. For Damon. For their future.

No, she didn't blame him at all. For the doubts. For pulling back. For putting all of his energy and focus into finding and fixing the overwhelming and unexpected problem called Stefan...

"What makes you think he's drinking human blood again?" Jeremy asked.

"Because he's never been that strong before. At least not against me. And besides, I know the signs. And my brother." Damon answered impatiently. "Trust me. He isn't just sipping. This is a full on gorge."

Damon's assessment made the already grim listeners even more grim.

"So anyone? Anyone at all?" Shaking his head, Damon released a frustrated sigh when all he received in response were shrugged shoulders and averted gazes. "You mean to tell me none of you have noticed a change in Stefan. That's just...great."

"We were all pretty much worried about Elena after you left. I'm not sure anyone was really paying that much attention to Stefan." Bonnie's defense of the group was cold and detached. "Though clearly _someone _should have been."

The accusation in her narrowed eyes as they settled on Elena was not lost on Damon. While still unclear as to all that had happened in his absence, he was sure of one thing: Elena Gilbert wasn't entirely to blame. And he'd be damned if he'd let anyone, especially a judgmental, full-of-herself witch, make Elena feel as if she was. He stored the point away to be made, if necessary, at a later time.

"He's a flippin' vampire with a blood addiction. _Everyone_ should have been watching. I mean, come guys, how incredibly _stupid_ can you all be?"

"Damon." The warning came from Ric and did its part to remind him that now was not the time for the usual Damon-styled recriminations.

Damon took a deep breath and tried again.

"Look, I know that we have an established...perception, shall we say? Stefan's the good brother and I'm the bad, and that's all well and good and accurate to some degree. But the thing that seems to be lost in translation here is that we are _both _vampires. And as vampires we are unpredictable. And dangerous. And we...Drink. Human. Blood."

Emphasizing his point, Damon paused to make sure he had everyone's attention. Then, like an agitated father trying to teach an all-important lesson to his beloved but wayward children, he began to pace back and forth.

"Now Stefan, in all his saintly goodness, has decided to deny his very nature and pretend he _isn't_ a vampire. Some may see that as a moral high ground. What it really is, is foolish. Because now when baby brother gets a taste, he doesn't want to stop. That craving is his greatest weakness. And it makes him even more unpredictable and even more dangerous than that."

"He will lie, he will steal, he will attack and he will kill. He's done it before and he'll do it again. And it won't matter if he knows you or you're his friend or even if he loves you..." He paused and glanced in Elena's direction. "…as evidenced by tonight. So for your own safety, don't ever, _ever_ forget that."

"Well, how would we even know?" The question came from the still-new-to-the-vampire-world Tyler. "You know...how would we know if he's drinking human blood?"

"Great question, Furball." Damon shot back before his gaze swept over the dejected group. "Ideas, anyone?"

"There haven't been any deaths or attacks for that matter." Jeremy supplied.

"That you know of." Damon corrected. "What about the blood supply in the fridge?"

"Caroline's the only one that would know about that." Ric offered.

"Right. Caroline? Blood. Fridge. Missing supplies?" Sure that she was listening in, Damon called out to her then paused in concentration. When he tuned back into the group, it was with her answer. "She hasn't noticed any major fluctuations in blood bags. Which means either Caroline hasn't been paying close attention, Stefan's been hiding his tracks extremely well or..."

The new thought seemed to stop Damon in his tracks.

"Or?" Ric prompted.

"Or he's getting the blood from somewhere else. Or _someone_ else." Damon announced slowly, his mind suddenly whirling with questions. "But who? Who would be stupid enough to feed an addict the one thing he craves the most…"

Involuntarily, a few gazes shifted to Elena.

Though she seemed miles away, Elena had been listening to every word. Even the unasked questions in the suddenly silent room.

She sighed heavily and turned from the window. Damon was distractedly bouncing a paperweight between his hands, his thoughts clearly elsewhere. Arms crossed over her chest, Bonnie looked bored and miffed at the same time. Tyler was staring at his twiddling thumbs. Only Ric and Jeremy showed any sign of acknowledging her. And they were rather guilty signs at that.

"You can stop thinking it's me. Stefan hasn't tasted my blood since..." Her gaze shifted from Ric and Jeremy to Damon, who had stopped and turned his full attention in her direction. He was at once surprised by her sudden entrance into the conversation and clearly intrigued by her answer. The answer she now needed him, above anyone else, to hear. "...since a _really_ long time."

She saw his Adam's apple bob and his chest collapse as he exhaled the breath he'd been holding. Besides that, Elena couldn't tell from his usually expressive face if her denial was welcomed news or if it just added to Damon's doubts.

Or both.

Damon took her in, really for the first time since Stefan had attacked them. She looked a wreck. The weariness of the past few hours etched itself in frown lines around her tight lips. Her shoulders were slumped with a weight that seemed to resettle with the permanence of home. Her long fingers fidgeted nervously, absently with a stand of hair.

And when she looked at him, there was something broken in her eyes. Something lost. Something hopelessly forlorn.

For a brief moment, Damon saw it. The girl that had sent his brother over the edge. The girl that had worried her friends sick. The girl that she'd been...without him.

Damon sensed her need for his support and gave it without hesitation. "Well, of course it wasn't you. It would take a whole lot more blood than what you have to get him where he is. No, this is a sustained feeding." Damon answered flippantly."Besides, drinking that much from you could cause unintended consequences."

He heard Elena's sharp intake of breath and saw the hurt pass over her face as he unintentionally touched on the obvious issue only he and Elena were aware of. Damon immediately regretted his words. His expression softened, as did his voice. "Elena, I didn't mean _that_."

"Didn't mean what?" Bonnie asked sharply.

Damon turned on Bonnie. "Oh, _now_ you're interested in the conversation?"

"Maybe that's because now you're talking about something that might be interesting."

"I wish _you_ were interesting." Damon shot back before offering up his own thoughts on the matter. "Look, all I'm saying is, given Stefan's state right now, the people in this room are exempt from suspicion, ok?" He shot Bonnie a parting glance. "Well, almost all."

Taking deep breath, Damon refocused. "Maybe there's been a willing supplier. Maybe some not-so-willing donors?" He turned his attention back to the others. "Anyone notice any strangers lurking about town lately? Or an abundance of scarves being worn?"

At their blank stares, Damon continued his inquisition. "Ok, then. Anything else? Has he been acting...erratic?"

"Besides threatening you if you came back? Or stabbing you in the back like tonight?" Ric asked almost incredulous. "No, Damon. This is Stefan we're talking about. He's one of the most buttoned-up people we know."

Damon's frustrated sigh filled the room as he began an agitated pace. "Think, people. There has to be something. Someone must have seen something or heard him say something that wouldn't pass the Stefan saint test."

"Bonnie?" Elena was the first to notice the change in Bonnie's expression. She stepped further into the room, suddenly engaged. "Bonnie, what is it?"

Seeing the wariness in Elena's expression, Damon turned a suspicious gaze on Bonnie. "Yes, witch. If you know something, now's the time to talk."

"He um..." Bonnie's gaze darted around the room. "...he wanted me to cast a spell."

"What kind of spell?"

"One that would keep Ric from finding you." Bonnie answered Damon.

"He what?" A surprised Elena pushed past Damon to address Bonnie directly. "Why would he do that?"

"Why do you think, Elena?" The question was full of condescension.

"We don't need to know what Elena thinks," Damon interjected as he placed the paperweight on the table. Given Bonnie's obvious attitude regarding Elena, him, the whole situation, he might need both hands free for any unexpected surprises. "We need to know what Stefan thinks."

"Which, he pretty much told you tonight, right?" Ric prompted.

Damon and Elena exchanged knowing glances.

"Come on, guys. Someone needs to tell us what really happened out there. Besides a cryptic phone call from a rather mysterious woman telling us Stefan attacked you and that we were needed here ASAP, we don't know what happened." Ric stated, then amended. "Well, we know what. We just don't know why."

"But I'm sure we can guess." Tyler quipped under his breath.

Lips forming a tight line, Damon took on the job of enlightening the group when Elena curtly nodded her agreement to the unspoken question in his eyes. "Stefan thinks I either compelled Elena or that we formed a blood bond when she saved my life."

The ever-curious-about-all-undead-things Jeremy perked up. "A blood bond? What is that?"

"It's a myth. That's what it is." Damon answered dismissively, though it was clear the question - and answer - bothered him.

"But compulsion isn't." Bonnie reminded them, beginning her own inquisition. "So, is he right? Did you compel her to risk her life for you?"

"Has someone witchified the stupid into you?"

"Damon." Elena shot him a chastising glance then turned to Bonnie with a proper answer. "Of course he didn't, Bonnie."

"And you would know this because?" Bonnie challenged outright.

Elena was taken back by Bonnie's tone. "Because I was there. Everything I did for Damon was _my_ choice. _My_ decision."

"Or so you've been compelled to believe."

The tension in the room instantly spiked. Damon and Ric exchanged wary glances and Jeremy and Tyler sat forward, their intense attention arrested. Tyler's by the cat fight that was sure to commence and Jeremy out of concern for both his girlfriend and his sister.

"Are you even hearing yourself right now? Damon was so out of it, he barely knew what was happening. And he certainly wasn't in control enough to compel me or anyone else for that matter. What could possibly make you think I've been compelled anyway?"

"I don't know, Elena." Bonnie's shrug was casual, but her accusation was not. "Maybe it was how you withdrew from all of us. Maybe it was how all you wanted to do was write in your stupid journals. Or maybe its the fact that you broke up with Stefan for no apparent reason."

Arms crossed in front of her, Elena's chin rose in defiance. "Oh, there was a reason. You just didn't want to listen when I tried to explain it to you."

"Girls, girls. Back on topic." Attempting to defuse the situation, Damon stepped in between the two friends then rounded on Bonnie. "So, Judgey. This spell. What exactly was it supposed to do?"

Bonnie's uncomfortable gaze swept the faces in the room, pausing when it landed on an increasingly annoyed Ric. "Block any calls to and from your phone from any of us."

"Ah. That would explain how I could never get through to anyone. And here I just thought it was a bad battery." A hint of pride entered his voice. "Clever one, Stef..."

"Wait. What are you saying? Are you saying she actually cast the spell?"

Damon practically scoffed at the naivety of Elena's question. "Well, of course, she did."

Elena was in front of Bonnie again. Toe to toe. Eye to eye.

"Let me get this straight. You knew how much I wanted to find Damon and you _purposely_ tried to keep us apart? Because _Stefan_ asked you to?" Seeing the answer in Bonnie's closed expression, Elena's injured eyes narrowed in accusation. "How could you? "

"I was protecting you..."

"From what? I felt like my life was falling apart, Bonnie. I needed him here and you and Stefan just decided that...what? He wasn't good enough? That my feelings didn't count? That you knew what I needed better than I did? You were supposed to be _my_ best friend. You were _supposed_ to support me. No matter what."

"I draw the line at supporting your self-destructive tendencies, Elena." Bonnie shot back. "And believe me, this thing with him, whatever it is...it will destroy you."

For a moment Elena stood in stunned silence.

She felt as if she was hearing Stefan's voice echoed through Bonnie's words.

It infuriated her. Hurt her. And made loyalties crystal clear.

So she did to Bonnie what she'd been unable to do to Stefan.

"Get out."

"What?"

"You heard me. I want you out of here. Now. Because you and I...we are done."

Disbelief and disdain filtered through Bonnie's expression. "I...I can't believe this. You're going choose _him_ over me?" As if to make the choice clear, she repeated herself and pointed to the vampire standing beside - and between - them. "_Damon_. Over me."

"Yeah. I guess I am."

"Elena..." Damon attempted to step in, but was stopped cold when Elena turned to him and shook him off.

"No, Damon, there were sides to be chosen here and she made her choice when she teamed up with Stefan to keep you from coming home to me." Elena turned back to Bonnie. "Now, leave."

"With pleasure." Shaking her head in disbelief, Bonnie grabbed her bag and headed toward the door with one last, parting remark. "You'll be sorry for this one day, Elena Gilbert. I can promise you that."

The slamming of the front door echoed in the stunned and silent room.

Still fired up, Elena spun on the rest of the group. "Well? What about you guys? Anyone else go behind my back and betray me? And don't think I don't know about the journals. Caroline told me about the plan to steal them..."

"Wait. You stole her journals?" An incredulous Damon asked. "What the hell happened to you people while I was gone?"

"It wasn't us, ok? It was Stefan and Bonnie." Jeremy answered defensively. "We're the ones who stopped them from following through."

"And you're just bringing this up now? What part of 'erratic behavior' did you not understand, Jer-Bear?"

"Stop, ok? I don't want the two of you fighting. Please." She turned pleading eyes on Damon, her message clear. "Not the two of you."

"Elena." Standing in the doorway, Caroline interrupted the current drama, only to add to it. "It's Stefan. And he's asking to see you."

tbc...


	18. Chapter 18

Hey all - First, I know it has been FOREVER and I truly apologize. Work has been brutal and I've not had much time to write.

Second, I have no idea where JP and crew are taking the current sire bond storyline, but I wanted to let you know that I can already see a great potential for this story and TVD to move along some of the same lines or at least concepts. So, anything that resembles what TVD is doing right now isn't intentional on my part. I'm still going to write what I had planned - just didn't want anyone to think I was stealing their ideas. If anything, they're stealing mine! LOL! :)

Third, so, I have three main conversations that need to take place between: Damon and Lily, Elena and Lily and (the most important one) Damon and Elena. It took me a while to try to figure out how I was going to mesh these conversations because they're kinda dependent on each other. What I'm doing in the next three chapters is what I came up with. Doing it this way may be a bit confusing timeline-wise so as a quick recap: Stefan's attack on Damon came on the night Damon came back to MF and Elena admitted she has feelings for him. This chapter will be the morning after with a flashback to the night before. The next chapter is one week later with a flashback to the morning after the attack and the final 'conversation' chapter is the later the night of the attack. Hope that makes sense.

Not sure how many are still following this story or waiting for updates, but I do have the next 2 chapters ready to go and have good portions of the next chapters done. So, hopefully, this can click along at a faster pace.

Sorry for all the long explanation. I kinda felt it was necessary given how long I've been away from this story.

Hope you enjoy! Would love your feedback!

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><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

Elena Gilbert had refused to see Stefan that night.

And Damon Salvatore had eagerly agreed.

Given Stefan's current state of mind, Damon would've stopped short of nothing to keep Elena from seeing Stefan. That is, if she'd actually wanted to. The fact that she didn't only raised more questions in Damon's mind.

And heart.

Between Stefan's meltdown, the mysteries Lily left in her wake and Elena's emerging feelings, Damon felt like he was walking a very high tightrope and teetering dangerously. After a conversation with Lily that placed him in the center of intrigue and danger, Damon felt as if the weight of the world was suddenly on his shoulders. One wrong step, just one, and the consequences could reverberate for generations.

Too many things were happening at once. Too many questions had been raised and not answered. He was on doubt overload, and as such, on very shaky ground.

He needed to find answers.

Quickly.

Which was why he found himself knee-deep in research at Ric's apartment before the sun had even risen...

"So last night..." A freshly showered Alaric Saltzman addressed a deeply focused Damon as he picked through a pile of ancient books lying open and strewn about Alaric's desk. "...that was some pretty intense stuff. You know, between you and Stefan. Elena and you."

"Yep."

Damon's distracted, one word answer should have been enough to warn Ric off the subject. But Ric was never one for heeding blatant warnings.

"And then there was that friendly little chat between you and Lily that Tyler and I interrupted." Ric's not-so-subtle prompt went unanswered. "Anything there you'd like to talk about?"

Damon responded by discarding one book and grabbing another without a word.

The conversation from the night before came back to him in an instant.

_Seeing Stefan again had been brutal._

_Having gone in Elena's place to answer Stefan's request for an audience, he was not prepared for his brother's reaction._

_In the brief meeting, Damon had been accused of keeping Elena away from him. Damon's emotional prisoner is what Stefan had called her. He'd been blamed for her distance, their break up. For twisting her mind and tainting the way she viewed the world now. He'd been lectured once more about the 'blood bond' that had started Elena's obvious descent into apparent recklessness and anarchy._

_It had taken all of Damon's strength to appear unaffected. To not react to the caustic accusations. To walk away without seriously injuring his own brother. _

_The moment the door to Stefan's cell closed, Damon felt an overwhelming sense of defeat. Sadness churned in the pit of his stomach. Guilt weighed him down. He didn't even make it out of the basement before he had to lean against the wall for support._

_Although use to being blamed for the ills of the world, Damon felt every stinging remark as Stefan lashed out. Even then, what pierced his heart the most was the venom with which Stefan launched his accusations. The pure hatred in his brother's eyes..._

_"I'd ask if you were ok, but clearly you are not."_

_Damon's eyes snapped open to find Lily standing in front of him looking as fresh as a morning dew drop on a rose petal. Empathy radiated from her dark eyes as she offered him an understanding smile._

_Instinctively, Damon's key defense mechanism kicked in. He shrugged nonchalantly. He smirked sardonically. He deflected. "Oh, come on now. Are any of us ever really ok?"_

_Head tilted to the side, she studied him silently for a moment before making a cryptic observation. "You know you don't have to do that."_

_"Do what?"_

_"Pretend it doesn't matter that your brother viciously attacked you tonight. I know it does."_

_Her calm demeanor was in direct contrast to the chaos ravaging him inside. And that drew him to her in a way that was uncannily familiar._

_"Yeah. It does." He admitted softly. "But what's done is done. What am I supposed to do? Sit and cry about it?"_

_"No. Crying is not your style." Lily conceded. "But neither is pretending. You know, I've heard that talking things out, letting someone share your burden, well...sometimes it helps."_

_"And you want to be that someone?" It came out more flirtatiously than Damon intended. Something that seemed to happen around this particular woman. Even when he didn't want it to._

_If she noticed, she didn't let on. "For now." She paused, then added, "If you'll let me."_

_Damon took a moment to consider her offer. Surprisingly, a moment was all it took. Or maybe not, considering how vulnerable he was feeling._

_He slid down the wall until he was seated on the hard, cold floor. She followed suit and waited till he was ready to speak._

_"We've always had our issues. What brothers don't, right? Little things here and there as we grew up. He was too serious while I liked to clown around. He was poised and controlled. I was reckless, obvious, and always felt way too much. He was our father's favorite..." There seemed to be no counter-balance to that one, so Damon swallowed hard and moved on. "But through it all, we were brothers. Nothing could come between us."_

_"Until, of course, Katherine. She broke us like no one could. Hell, we've antagonized each other off and on for over a century because of her." The uncomfortable way Lily shifted, the subtle tightness in her expression registered faintly in the back of Damon's mind. But as she said nothing, he continued. "But lately, we'd gotten to that place, you know? Where we could co-exist in the same space, even work together for the same goals. Despite everything, despite...Elena. Maybe even because of her. I started to think maybe, just maybe, I could get my brother back."_

_Damon paused, his voice straining with emotion. "I almost forgot how much he hates me."_

_"Stefan doesn't hate you."_

_Damon's chuckle was mirthless. "Clearly, you do not know us."_

_The immediate silence stretched on, until Lily spoke, proving just how much she, in fact, did._

_"Even on Stefan's best day of pretending to have it all together, of being in control, he still isn't half the man you've always been. There's a darkness in him, Damon. And he can't ignore it and he can't wish it away no matter how hard he tries. It's always there waiting for him because he's ever only one feed away from becoming the monster he loathes. From becoming the Ripper. And he knows that."_

_She shook her head, her conclusions already drawn. "So, no, Damon. It isn't you that Stefan hates. It's himself. He lashes out at you because you remind him of who he can never be." Lily shrugged her slender shoulders and quirked an eyebrow. "Besides, he's a mean drunk. Always has been. Whether it's alcohol or blood, it brings out the worst in him." _

_"You do know I'm not the good brother, right?"_

_"Aren't you?" Lily inquired softly. "I know the things you've done, Damon. The people you've killed. The ones you've turned and those you've compelled for your own selfish needs. I also know that you've never wiped out an entire village just because it was fun. You've never viciously played with your victims before ripping them apart. And you've never sat in hypocritical judgment of others using standards you yourself can't meet."_

_"What Stefan has done doesn't excuse my own actions."_

_"You're right, it doesn't. But you don't carry the same darkness inside of you the way he does. Even at your worst, there were lines that you just wouldn't cross. So if redemption isn't out of Stefan's reach, it certainly isn't out of yours. And you're proving that. I mean, just look at you. You're becoming who you were meant to be."_

"_And who is that?" Damon's whisper was heartbreakingly hopeful._

"_The better man." Lily answered, knowingly echoing words that had been the driving force behind Damon's every waking thought since falling in love with Elena Gilbert. "I know you have a hard time believing you can be, but I think that's because you've listened too long to the voices that have told you that you just aren't good enough. Your father, Katherine...even Stefan. And you shouldn't...because you are. And even if you don't believe it yet, there are some of us who do."_

_Damon had listened to her assessment, his eyes narrowing with questions. And suspicion. "How do you know all of this?"_

_"Studying the Salvatore brothers has been a pastime of mine for many years."_

_"No, really. How do you know?" Switching gears, Damon voiced another question that had been niggling at the back of his mind. "And how did I know what you were going to say before you said it earlier tonight?" He held up a hand to stop the cryptic answer poised to spring. "And before you answer, please know it's been an_ incredibly_ long day fraught with_ all_ kinds of emotional pitfalls. I'm not in the mood for any more mind games. I need straight answers to straight questions."_

_"Alright." Lily agreed. Then she chose her words carefully. "I know about Stefan because I've seen it myself. Many times. And I honestly don't know how you knew what I was going to say, but I wish I did."_

_"There was a moment, Lily. A moment I can't shake. Several, actually, ever since we met. It's like...things make sense. But then they don't." Damon took a deep breath and released it, ready to make an assessment of his own. His blue eyes met hers in honest inquiry, demanding an honest answer. "We meant something to each other, didn't we?"_

_She had prepared for this. She knew exactly what to say. And what not to say._

_"Yes, Damon. We did."_

_The questions tumbled quickly. "What? How? When? And why don't I remember you?"_

_Lily's answered was measured. "Because today has been incredibly long and fraught with all kinds of emotional pitfalls, that's all I'm going to say. For now."_

_"Meaning?"_

_"When I'm ready to share that particular burden, I'll let you be the someone that helps." _

_Sensing that line of questioning was firmly at an end and not so sure that wasn't a good idea, Damon switched gears again. "Is that why you're doing all of this? You know, taking on my brother's recovery?"_

_"I'm doing it because it needs to be done."_

_"Yes, but I'm getting the distinct impression you're not a big Stefan fan."_

_Lily inclined her head in silent affirmation._

_"And yet you've gone to a lot of trouble – having Katherine compelled, bringing her here, stopping Stefan tonight – just to save him from himself. Why?"_

_"Because you need your brother. And I need to know you have what you need."_

_The cynic in Damon reared his head. "Nah, there has to be more to it."_

_"Honestly, Damon. There really isn't."_

_"A part of me believes you. It does."_

_"But?"_

_"No one does what you're doing just because. You're here for a reason." The suspicions he'd been harboring since the night she saved his life with Elijah's help began to form into a coherent idea. "It isn't over, is it? Klaus. The Originals. There's more to this whole werepire thing than we ever knew." _

_"No, it isn't over." Lily confirmed. "Since the ritual, the supernatural world has been on alert and sides are being chosen as we speak." _

_"Between?"_

_"Klaus and Elijah."_

_"With Elena in the middle?" A certain panic started to close in on Damon._

_"While Elena is important, she is not The Key."_

_"The Key." Breathing a brief sigh of relief, Damon mulled the word he'd heard too many times in his short acquaintance with this one woman and came to the most obvious conclusion. He also thought of Elena and what another battle with the Originals would mean to her. He instantly rejected the idea. Because he could not, would not, let her go through anything like that again. "And if, as The Key, I don't want to choose a side?"_

_Lily's shrug was nonchalant while her warning was not. "Then you've chosen a side. And evil will win."_

_A heavy silence fell between them as they stared at each other. One with so many questions. And one with so much yet to reveal. _

_"Hey." Ric stumbled into the cellar with Tyler close behind._

_Damon was instantly alert. "What is it? What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing beyond the usual. You were just taking a long time." Ric glanced in Lily's direction, then back to Damon, his brows furrowing in confusion. "We were worried something had happened with Stefan."_

_Damon visibly relaxed. "He's vervained again. He'll be out for a while."_

_"Was that necessary?" Tyler asked._

_"Yes, Dog Breath, it was." Damon answered sharply, then seeing the concern on Ric's face, Damon clarified. "Our talk didn't go so well."_

_"I'm sorry, buddy." Brightening, Ric offered a change of subjects that would require less emotion. "Hey, we've been talking. Obviously, we need a plan here. Any idea where we should start?" _

_"Well, first..." Damon slumped against the wall, the weariness of the day beginning to show on his face. "...we need to detox him."_

_"And after that?"_

_"We find out who's supplying him with blood and kill them." Damon rolled his eyes at the horrified looks on the guys' faces. "If necessary. Is that better?"_

_"And you're sure someone is actively supplying him with blood?"_

_"That's the only thing that makes sense right now."_

_"Alright." Ric agreed. "So, how are we going to find out?"_

_"If we can't get it from Stefan, we might have to do some tracking of our own. Maybe even set a trap..."_

_"Or..." A lightly accented, feminine voice entered the conversation for the first time. "...you could just ask me."_

_"And you are..." Ric prompted._

_Shaking his head as if to clear the cobwebs and allow good manners to take over, Damon's mood seemed to lift. "Of course, sorry. Guys, this is Lily...Lily..." Suddenly realizing he didn't even know her full name, Damon paused only to be rescued by the woman herself._

_"Casteel. And you must be..." Lily turned her scrutinizing gaze on the two men that were now crowding the cellar. She pointed a graceful finger to each one in their turn. "Alaric Saltzman, the vampire slayer and Tyler Lockwood, the werewolf. And the other one that was here earlier? Jeremy Gilbert, was it? He's the ghost whisperer, right?"_

_"Right." Damon seemed a bit taken aback. Was there anything this woman didn't know? "Ok, then. I guess you know everyone."_

_"So...what do you do?" An intrigued Ric questioned. "Besides save the day. Repeatedly, it seems."_

_Lily offered a disarming smile. "I'm the Seer."_

_Damon blinked. "You're the..." He paused, his eyes narrowing. "But I thought that was a myth."_

"_That's twice you've said that tonight." Tyler quipped, pinning Damon with a sharp look._

"_What's a Seer?" Ric asked._

"_A Seer is..." Lily began._

"_Your basic, run of the mill, fortune teller with a few extra tricks up their sleeve." Damon supplied with a knowing smirk._

"_Not...quite." Lily countered slowly, casting Damon a chastising glance then turned her attention back to Ric. "I come from an ancient line of humans with a supernatural ability to see visions of the future."_

"_Like I said…fortune teller." Damon quipped, a lopsided grin starting to form._

_Lily bit back a smile, though she couldn't keep her eyes from dancing with amusement. "It's a little more involved than that."_

_"Do tell." Damon shot back in teasing challenge. "I always did love a good fairy tale."_

"_Oh, really? Then remind me to tell you the one about Prince Charming one day. A lot of lessons for you there." She smiled at the way Damon screwed up his face in disgust then gracefully turned the tide of questions in the direction she wanted - needed - them to go. "So I believe the last question on the table was who has been enabling Stefan's blood addiction, correct?"_

_"You know who?"_

_"Well, of course, I do." Lily shrugged nonchalantly allowing the questions her answer raised to go unanswered. After all, there'd be time enough to explain her role in the events of the moment. "Does the name Alexia Branson ring a bell?"_

_"Lexi?" Damon dismissed the idea with a wave of his hand. "Impossible. I killed her like, I don't know...a while ago."_

_"Hmm, yes." Lily agreed politely, then challenged his assumption. "But then, you killed Elijah too, did you not?"_

_Realization dawned in Damon's eyes. "Oh. Oh, you can't be serious."_

_"What?" Tyler asked, intrigued by not only Lily, but the interplay between the two. He wasn't the only one. Ric took in every glance, every smile, every teasing word spoken between them. _

_"Lexi's an Original?"_

_"Lexi is more than that." Lily confirmed. Then she dropped an even bigger bombshell. "She's Klaus' favorite sister. And she's been playing your brother for years."_

Ric cleared his throat effectively bringing Damon back to the present.

"Ok, then." Ric sat down next to Damon, his gaze focused on the stack of books Damon had been consulting since before the sun had risen. He reached over and grabbed a book from the untouched pile on the floor. "What are we looking for?"

"Anything about the Seer and something called The Key. It'll be in connection with the Original's post-Moonstone-werepire ritual."

Ric's eyes narrowed. "The Seer as in Lily and The Key as in...you?"

"Yep. And if that isn't your glass of whiskey, you can get a jump on anything and everything we don't know about Lexi. And getting more info on Lily wouldn't hurt either."

"Why do you want to research Lily? Do you think she's lying about you being this all-important-to-the-human-race key?"

"It's more of a hope than a belief."

"And why would you hope she'd be lying to you?"

Damon sighed and tossed another book aside, his troubled gaze refusing to meet Ric's. "Because if she isn't lying, my life is about to get very, very complicated."

"Isn't it already?" Ric queried lightly then clarified, as if clarification were necessary. "You know, with Stefan. And Elena. Katherine. Oh, and let's not forget this intriguing Seer of yours. She really is quite beautiful…"

The clock on Ric's mantel loudly tracked the seconds in silence, like a time bomb ticking down to destruction.

Seeing that Damon wasn't going to take the obvious bait, Ric cleared his throat. "So, did you talk to her last night?" And then he clarified because with all the women suddenly dancing in and out of Damon's life, this time, clarification _was_ necessary. "Elena, I mean."

Damon answered with a nod then flipped a page in the book he was scanning.

"And?"

"And what?"

"And how did it go?"

"As expected."

"As expected." Ric repeated, his tone registering a hint of annoyance. "You know, after last night...hell, after the past month, I'm not quite sure what _is_ expected anymore. So. You wanna help me out with that?"

Rolling his eyes, Damon slammed the book shut and finally met Ric's gaze. "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"I am her guardian and you're my best friend. So, what do you think?"

An agitated Damon pushed himself out of the chair and headed toward Ric's kitchen where he grabbed a glass of ever-waiting bourbon. As if courage itself was waiting for him at the bottom of the glass, Damon filled it to the top and downed it in one gulp. The burn shook his entire body and released whatever had been keeping Damon's reticent words in check.

"Let's just say Elena won't be an issue."

An eyebrow hitched. "What the hell does that even mean?"

"It means what it means. She won't be involved in any of this." Damon nodded toward the book-laden table, poured another drink and added a second glass before heading back to the table. He deposited Ric's drink in front of him with a thud.

"That doesn't sound like Elena."

"Well, choosing me over Stefan doesn't sound like Elena either and yet, that appears to have happened." Damon leaned back into the chair and, for the first time since arriving at Ric's door, he closed his eyes and attempted to let the tension in his muscles drain.

"Appears?" Ric repeated with a shake of his head and chuckle before he took a sip of his drink. "Seemed pretty definite to me."

"And you don't find that odd? Not in the least bit?" Damon asked, genuinely curious. "After all this time of 'it'll always be Stefan' to just suddenly be all about Team Damon?"

"Actually, no. I don't."

Damon's hrumph was accompanied by a harmless sneer and his trademark sarcasm. "I swear, I leave this place for a few days and everyone takes collective leave of their senses. I outta invest in mental institutions. Or straight jacket manufacturers."

Ric smirked then grew serious. "Damon, look, if I were you I'd be cautious too. But I gotta tell you, I think this thing with Elena is real." When Damon didn't respond, Ric continued knowing he had Damon's full attention. Even if Damon didn't want him to think so.

"You know, when I entered the Mystic Falls picture, Elena was 100 percent Stefan's. No question about it. But then something changed. It didn't happen overnight or all at once. It's been a long, gradual progression. Every day. Every trial. Every...win and every loss."

"I've watched the two of you change each other this past year. I've seen how connected you are, how you understand each other. I've watched Elena go from hating you to being distraught over the thought of losing you. And somehow, no matter how inconceivable it is, it really isn't." Ric paused to take another drink. "So, no, I don't find it odd that she's finally accepting what I've been seeing this whole time. I'm only surprised it took her this long."

Damon considered his words, but said nothing. Ric wisely let it rest.

After a few moments of silence, Damon spoke, his voice soft and contemplative.

"She won't be involved because I don't want her to be."

An eyebrow quirked at that. "Just because you say? Again. Very un-Elena-like."

Damon ignored him. "And our talk went as expected because…well, I wanted that too."

"What are you saying?" When Damon didn't respond, a suddenly unsettled Ric pressed for more explanation. "Damon, what did you do?"

"What do you think?"

And without saying another word, Ric's suspicions were confirmed. "You can't be serious."

"After all she's been through, I had no choice. She deserves better than what I'm about to face." Damon's guilty, heartbroken gaze met Ric's. "So, I told her to let me go...and then I walked away."

tbc...


	19. Chapter 19

Hey all -

Sorry this took a bit longer than I expected. Thank you all for your wonderful support and feedback. I truly appreciate it. This chapter is REALLY long - sorry for that - but it is the Delena conversation that happens the night of Stefan's attack. It will be angsty, but I hope you'll be hopeful at the end. Though it starts with Damon/Lily, they aren't meant to detract from Delena - just needed to keep the plot moving forward a bit.

Hope you enjoy. Would love to know what you think!

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><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

"When I said you could pick any room, I didn't picture you in this one."

Surprised by the voice coming from the doorway of her new 'home' at the Salvatore boarding house, Lily stopped unpacking, glanced up and immediately lost her ability to breathe. Arms crossed in front of him, Damon was casually leaning against the door watching her, his blue eyes sparkling with the same amusement tilting his full lips.

Just like he'd done so many times before.

Tearing her gaze away from Damon's impossibly handsome face, she glanced around the sparse, Civil War-inspired room giving herself time to slow the rapid pounding of her heart. Her gaze fell on an oval frame that encased a photograph of Silas, Damon's uncle on his mother's side. She smiled at the memory of meeting him once. To a girl who'd known very little goodness in the world, he'd been especially kind.

Lily shot Damon a chagrined smile. "What can I say? I happen to like old things."

"So it seems." Damon commented cryptically, then pushed himself away from the door and advanced slowly, casually. "Did you find everything you need?"

"Yes, thank you." She paused and turned to him, a hesitant look in her eyes. "Are you...sure about this? I was perfectly comfortable at the inn..."

"Yes. I'm sure." Damon interrupted reassuringly. "I want you close by if Katherine tries to cause any problems."

"I really don't think she will." Lily seemed poised to reverse her earlier decision to move into the boarding house. "Being compelled and all, she shouldn't act up unless I tell her to. Which I won't. So, it doesn't really matter where I am..."

Damon felt an unexpected stirring inside. Something close to panic. Uncertainty. Loss. "All the same, I want you stay."

Lily released a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. "Alright then. I'll uh, I'll do my best to keep out of your way."

The panic disappeared. Relief took its place.

"Puhleease." Damon rolled his eyes and offered up a lopsided grin. "After everything you've done, everything you're about to do...get in my way as much as you like." Damon slipped onto the edge of the bed, his hands folded in front of him, a curious glint in his eyes.

He silently watched her as she moved through the room. Floating would have been more accurate. Like a ghost from a distant past claiming what had once been hers. Perfectly at ease. Perfectly at home.

Like she belonged there.

Pushing the disturbing thoughts away, he focused instead on the news that she'd dropped on him earlier. "Do you really think Lexi is behind this new and damaged Stefan?"

"I do." Lily stated with conviction as she returned to the task of emptying her suitcase, relieved to have something besides Damon and his overwhelming presence as her focus. "In fact, I'm sure of it."

"But, I don't understand. She's always been his friend. The only one that's been there to help him back on the wagon. Why would she be the one to push him off this time?"

"You really believe that? That she's been his friend?" Lily queried, her questions laced with hidden knowledge.

"Yeah, I mean, there's nothing to say she hasn't been."

"How about the way she's always helped him?" Opening a drawer, Lily dumped a small stack of clothes inside and began to rearrange them.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if she truly wanted Stefan break the habit, she would have helped him accept his vampirism and control the urges, like we're going to do. But instead she tortured him into good behavior. That isn't the way to break someone of their addiction."

Damon shrugged. "Maybe she just didn't know that."

Lily cast him a disbelieving glance. "After almost a century and a half of it not working, don't you think she would have learned and tried something different?"

"Good point." Damon conceded. "That still doesn't mean its her."

"Considering that she's completely loyal to Klaus, and Stefan is the brother to the key that can destroy hers, I can't think of a better way to weaken you than to drive a wedge between you and the brother you love." Having crisscrossed the distance between suitcase and dresser twice, she paused to consider a new thought. "Though to be honest, I doubt she or Klaus knows of your importance."

"Then why would they want to drive a wedge between Stefan and me?"

"Maybe they suspect Stefan is the key." Lily speculated before heading into the bathroom with her toiletries. She emerged a moment later, picking up the conversation right where she left it. "Which actually makes a lot of sense as to why Lexi's kept a close eye on him all of these years."

"You don't know any of this for sure?" Damon questioned, surprised. He'd assumed, given the rumors he'd heard, that the point of the Seer was that they knew things...beyond knowing. That Lily didn't made him curious to know more about this power of hers and how exactly she fit into the emerging picture of his life. "As the Seer can't you just, I don't know, wiggle your nose or spin a crystal ball or something and get all the answers we need?"

Lily chuckled and the oddly familiar sound sent an unexpected pang through Damon's heart. "It doesn't really work that way."

"No? Then how does it work?"

Caught between wanting to share everything she knew with him and knowing now was just not the right time, Lily considered him for a moment. By her calculations, he had one more thing to deal with before the night was over.

Elena Gilbert and her waiting heart.

And she for one could not, would not, keep him from his destiny. Decision made, she offered a smile and a pledge instead. "Another time. I promise, Damon, I will explain everything you need to know. But since it's been a long night..."

"Right. You must be tired. So, I'll just umm..." Reluctantly pushing himself off the bed, Damon headed toward the door.

"How's Elena?" Lily stopped him, genuinely concerned.

And that right there was the reason he was reluctant to leave Lily. He dreaded the conversation to come, the tears he would most likely see, the heart he needed to break. He knew it was what he had to do as soon as he realized more danger was close at hand. He'd been delaying the inevitable for as long as possible, but now...now he had no choice.

It was as if, somehow, Lily knew that.

Damon slowly turned to face her. "I don't know yet. I'm going to see her now."

"Be careful with her, Damon." Lily softly admonished. "And please, don't do or say anything that you can't come back from."

"And what makes you think I would?"

"Because I know you. I know that you would rather break your own heart and suffer thorough all of this alone than put Elena through the hell that's heading our way." She moved toward him, hoping to break through the distance forming in his eyes. "But remember, you _will _need her, Damon. She's very much a part of all of this."

"After everything she's just been through, what if I don't want her to be?"

"Unfortunately..." A bittersweet smile tilted her lips. Regret filled her eyes. "...we don't always get what we want."

Those eyes touched him. And that smile did him in. He couldn't resist asking one last question. "And what did you want that you didn't get?"

Lily blanched at the unexpected and insightful question. Her breathing hitched and her eyes instantly stung with tears. "Why would you think I didn't?"

"Because there's a sadness in your eyes, every time you look at me."

He held her with his gaze and Lily found herself doing the one thing she'd sworn she wouldn't do - drown in his eyes. Struggling against a century of dreams, she fought her way back to the surface, to reality, then steeled her resolve against him, against them, against all they'd ever been.

"Like I said, Damon...another time." With a suddenly tight smile, she headed to the door and stood rigid, waiting for his exit. As he passed her with a nod and a soft 'good night', Lily felt that very resolve begin to shake. As she closed the door behind him and leaned against it for support, she allowed it to crumble.

Minutes later, heading out to see Elena, Damon closed the front door behind him, and paused at the sound of tears falling in a soft cadence that was so unique, so heartbreakingly familiar, he could have swore he'd heard them before.

* * *

><p>Damon Salvatore had seen his first tight-rope walking act in 1876 when twenty-three year old Marie Spelterini became the first woman to ever cross Niagra Falls.<p>

Blindfolded.

He'd held his breath and cheered the Italian beauty's every step, admiring the courage and tenacity, the control and skill, the very spirit, that carried her across the dangerous rapids and delivered her safely to the other side.

Now, standing on Elena Gilbert's doorstep, Damon was embarking on his own treacherous journey on a rope strung tighter than his emotions, higher than his hopes and infinitely more dangerous than any feat tried before.

For if Damon failed to do what he came to do, not only would he pitch headlong into certain abyss, he'd be taking Elena - and countless others - down with him.

He'd never really been here before. Navigating these particular waters. Conducting this particular balancing act.

Now, he had to find a way to wound a heart without breaking a spirit. He had to walk away by staying close. He had to be selfishly selfless, and hold on while letting go

The irony of the situation was not lost on Damon.

To finally be given what he's longed for, to see paradise laid out before him, to know the peace he found in Elena's kiss only to have it ripped away from him hours later by his own hands...well, that was asking too much of any man.

And yet, the Universe, in its infinite wisdom, had chosen him for such a task.

He didn't have a plan. Not really. He knew the end result, but the way to get there? He was as sightless as Marie Spelterini had been as she walked that tight-rope blindfolded.

And that terrified him. Because Elena Gilbert had the power to destroy him. To make him whole. She could do to him with one look what hundreds couldn't do with their complete surrender. One word from her and all of his good intentions would burn to ash. One touch, and he would gladly drown in a sea of agony for just one more.

So he steeled himself with his only weapon - the truth.

There were three things Damon Salvatore knew without a doubt: he loved Elena Gilbert too much to be selfish with her; he'd rather die than lose her; and for Elena, it would always be Stefan.

Which was why he had to walk away.

For his brother's sake. For her safety. And for his sanity.

So, he inched out on the tightrope, one tentative step at a time...

* * *

><p>A bone-tired, soul-weary Elena Gilbert opened her front door.<p>

And instantly felt lighter. Refreshed. Alive.

"Damon. You came."

The gentle joy in her voice, the brightness of her smile almost made Damon forget his own name. His resolve. His mission.

"You knew I would, even if it took like…" He glanced down at the phone in his hand. "…16 text messages to get me here." He chided lightly.

Elena wasn't quite sure what she'd be dealing with the next time she and Damon were face to face. She'd hoped, but hadn't counted on an open Damon, eager to talk, willing to listen, ready to believe. She still wasn't sure that's who was standing on her porch, but so far, they were off to a good start.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, Elena shifted nervously in the doorway. "Yeah, sorry about that. I just...I really didn't like how we left things tonight."

"It's ok. Neither did I." Damon reassured her as he tucked his phone in his pocket. "So. We need to talk."

"Yeah, I think so too." Relieved, she smiled and stepped aside to let him in.

Hands jammed into his pockets, a hesitant Damon remained rooted to his spot, silently rejecting her welcoming offer. If he so much as stepped one toe into the home just beyond her shoulder or tasted the warmth waiting for him inside, he'd knew never leave.

And that would be as deadly to his purpose as a stake to his heart.

"Damon?" Elena's prompt brought Damon back to the present. "Are you ok?"

"Not...really." The admission slipped out before he could pull it back.

Understanding and guilt slipped through Elena's expression. "How's Stefan?"

"Actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Ok. Come on in. I think we have some whisky in the cupboard... " Elena offered, making a move to let him inside.

Damon's words stopped her. "Uh, look, it's late and it's been a really long night so I'm going to keep this short."

Elena deflated, unable to hide her disappointment. "Oh. Ok."

So maybe that good start was about to take a nasty turn. Suddenly even more unsure of what was coming next, Elena protectively wrapped her arms around herself and leaned against the doorjam for support, preparing herself for the unexpected.

Though everything in him screamed to stop before he started, to take the three steps needed to close the distance between them and gather her in his arms, Damon steeled his will and proceeded across the vast distance from where he was and where he needed to be.

He kept his tone light, friendly, polite. "I thought you'd like to know that we've come up with a plan to help Stefan."

"Oh?" Elena tried to sound interested, but her voice was flat even to her own ears..

If Damon noticed, he didn't react. Instead, he charged ahead, a man on a mission. "Yeah, Katherine and Caroline are going to oversee the detox and when we've gotten him back to semi-normal, Katherine and I will train him to control his thirst instead of letting it control him. He is, clearly, way over-due for a lesson or two."

"Katherine." A dubiously dark eyebrow rose. "And you."

"Look, I know what you're thinking, but it's ok. Ironic as it sounds, I actually trust her on this. Especially since she's been compelled to obey Lily." Damon held up his hands at the immediate questions in Elena's eyes. "Long story involving Originals and retribution and things I've been told I don't want to know."

Elena took a deep breath and let the news settle around her. "I see. And you're just going to accept that?"

"For now."

"So..." Elena did a short recap then took Damon's explanation one step further. "...you trust Katherine now. And Lily?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

The nod of Damon's head and his verbal confirmation came quickly.

Too quickly for Elena's comfort.

"Just like that." Her expression tightened in disbelief. "Mr.-I-don't-trust-anyone-Salvatore lets a stranger walk into his life and he just...hands her the keys to everything?"

Keenly aware, but seemingly oblivious to the storm brewing in Elena's eyes, Damon's dismissive shrug backed up his words. "You trusted her to save my life. Why shouldn't I do the same?"

"Maybe because no one's life is on the line right now."

Not wanting to divulge anything he'd just learned about the next coming-to-a-town-near-you apocalypse, Damon chose an equally plausible scenario. "Well, theoretically, if we allow Stefan's insanity to continue, the fair damsels of Mystic Falls and beyond might argue that point so..." Damon quipped, letting the thought dangle.

Guarded, Elena remained thoughtfully silent.

Damon brightened as he continued. "You will be happy to know that we've made it abundantly clear to Katherine that she is not, in any way, allowed to impersonate you while she's here. So there will be no doppelganger hijinks to worry about."

As it hadn't even dawned on Elena there would be, ironically it was the least of her concerns. "And you really believe this will work."

"Yeah, I do. For once, Katherine wants what we want." A helpless shrug accompanied his wry, bittersweet smile. "After all, she'll always love Stefan too."

Elena took the unintended hit that she knew she had coming. "Damon, I..."

"You'll be able to see him, you know." He cut her off, his gaze faltering as he mentally kicked himself for that particular slip. "I mean, I know you said that you didn't want to, but I also know that things have been pretty rough between the two of you lately. I'm sure you'll change your mind given a little time."

A wary Elena's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Yeah? And what makes you so sure?"

"Because you're you." His steady gaze met hers. A bittersweet smile touched his lips.  
>"And because it's Stefan."<p>

Elena felt her heart constrict in her chest as the implications of his words washed over her.

"So when you're ready, ok?" Damon asked softly, as if he knew a wall had been breached and he was treading on dangerous ground. "All you have to do is let one of us know so we can be with you to make sure you're safe."

"Right. When I'm ready." Pushing herself away from the door, Elena stepped on the porch and headed to the railing, her gaze fixed on the darkness surrounding them. She took a moment to let everything sink in. To focus on what Damon was trying so hard not to say instead of what he was.

We. Us. Damon. Katherine. Lily.

But no Elena.

No, Elena he was saving for Stefan.

He was systematically cutting her out of his life by filling it with others who could meet his needs. He was pushing her toward Stefan and stepping back. And he was being distantly polite while doing so. Elena didn't know whether to laugh at the absurdity of his attempt or cry for the fact he was attempting it.

"And uh, who exactly decided on this plan?"

With narrowed eyes Damon scrutinized her, trying to gauge the direction of her thoughts. Unnerved by her bouts of silence, Damon proceeded with caution. One wrong step and he'd be in water too deep to tread. "Well, initially Lily's idea was for Katherine to handle it all on her own, but once we talked it all out, this made more sense."

Elena felt like she'd been hit in the gut. And it wasn't even Damon's fault. How could it be when he didn't even know what Lily and he had been to each other? "Lily...and you...talked it out." Elena repeated as she blew out a breath and ran her fingers through her hair in mounting frustration. "Boy, this just keeps getting better and better."

"Elena..."

A suddenly bold Elena spun around to face him. To challenge him. To reach him. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Pretending that you and I didn't happen tonight."

"I'm...not."

"When you come to my door and sound more like Stefan's brother than you do the man that kissed me senseless, then yeah, Damon, you are."

Damon swallowed hard, his gaze lowering guiltily. Focus firmly on the porch's wooden slats, Damon felt the rope beneath him start to shake as his footing began to slip.

"Look, Elena, about that..."

The momentum on her side, Elena cut him off. "Have I lost you forever? Because of what happened tonight with Stefan? Because of the things I said?"

"Elena..."

"Have I?" Elena pressed.

Damon tempered his response. "Forever is a long time."

"That's not an answer." Elena shot back, her emotions quickly rising to the surface.

"That's all I can give you right now."

In the silence that grew between them, Damon could hear her heart. Usually steady, usually strong. Now, a faltering beat. Watching her stand there, trying to process what he was saying, drawing conclusions, struggling with her own emotions, it took everything in him, beyond him, not to answer the instinctive urge to pull her to him and never let go.

"I wouldn't have gone with him, you know." Elena spoke as if answering an unasked question. Her voice sounded small against the sounds of the night. Against the impossibility of the situation she'd been in. "Not if I could help it."

"I know." Damon responded softly, truthfully.

"And I had no intentions of getting back together with him. He was...he was hurting you and there was nothing I could do. I only said those things to him to..."

"Elena, you don't have to explain. I get it, ok? I do." Unable to stand the pain in her eyes, he took a step forward, but refrained from reaching out and touching her. One touch, just one, and all would be lost. "It was a difficult situation and you were just trying to save both of us. Believe me, I get it."

Tears stung her eyes and coated her throat. "But that doesn't matter, does it? You're not even going to give us a chance, are you?" Elena felt a sense of despair lift from her heart and drop like a boulder into the pit of her stomach. "Because you don't think this is real. That what's happening between us will last." Her lips quivered as tears bubbled up in her eyes. "Well, you're wrong."

"Maybe. Maybe not." Damon replied amazed at her ability to see beyond his words to his intentions. "But that's not really the question right now."

"No? Then what is?"

"Do you still love him?"

"Damon..."

"Do you?" Damon challenged, already knowing the answer. "And please do us both a favor right now and don't lie. Not even to yourself."

And there it was. The battle she would have to fight if she were to ever gain Damon's heart, untainted by doubts and fears. Insecurities and reservations. It was a battle she would gladly wage for the prize was worth every agonizing blow.

So she steeled herself with her only weapon - the truth.

"Alright, yes. Yes, I do. Just the way I love Matt and Tyler and Ric. I want him to be safe and happy and I...I want him to have a full life with someone he loves but, Damon, that does not mean I want that person to be me." The plea in her voice was enough to break his heart. "_Please_ tell me you believe that."

"I don't know what to believe, Elena." The emotions Damon had been keeping so meticulously in tact, jumped to his eyes and coated his every word. "Because the Elena I know would never choose me over Bonnie and she certainly wouldn't choose me over Stefan and yet..."

"You think he's right then. About the blood bond."

"No. Yes." Damon paused. "Maybe. I never believed in it before, but...I've never felt what I felt when I drank your blood either so..." His shrug was a helpless gesture, not fitting for one so confident, so capable. "Maybe because I was weak and not in complete control, I opened up something between us and didn't realize it. I mean, it's possible, so who knows?"

"I do." The confidence and strength in Elena's believe took Damon's breath away. "I'm not saying I have a name for what happened between us that night, Damon, but I _know_ it isn't that."

"No? And how can you be so sure?"

"Because I knew what I felt for you before I ever gave you my wrist. Damon..." Elena invaded Damon's personal space and for the first time that night, he let her. Elena seemed to understand the importance of his allowance and took full advantage. She cupped his face, her eyes full of every emotion she'd felt since that night. "...I heard that you were dying and my world ended. Do you understand how desperate I was to save you? I would have gladly done anything to keep you alive. And that isn't because of some stupid bond that Stefan has dreamed up. It's because of what I feel for you, what I have felt for you for so long. I've just been too afraid to accept it."

And he believed her. In that moment, he knew every word was true. But that's all it was. A moment. And moments, like seconds ticking away one's life, come and go. Moments change lives. Moments break hearts. Moments don't last.

The many times he'd been rejected proved that.

Gently removing her hands from his face, Damon took a step back, his admission was softly delivered. "Look, Elena...let's be real, ok? If there is a blood bond..."

"There isn't."

"_If_ there is then what you think you feel for me…it's just – an illusion."

So convinced there was no such thing as a blood bond between them, Elena didn't even argue his point. "And if there isn't a blood bond?"

"Then I'm sorry, but I just don't see how this can work." Rushing on before she could protest, Damon's heart opened up and all the doubts and fears, all of the unanswered questions, came tumbling out. "We have so much going against us, Elena, that the very thought of us being together is impossible. And I can't ignore that. I just can't. Because Stefan may have gone off the deep end tonight, but that doesn't mean that what he said isn't true."

"Damon..."

"You're seventeen, Elena. What do you know of love or life or living it? Stefan and I...we've been around the block so many times it's dizzying. We both understand that things change all the time. Like decisions and feelings. And if they can change once, they can change again." A mirthless chuckled escaped him as his past rose up like a ghost. "Hell, look at me. I became a vampire just so I could live an eternity with Katherine. And now? If we didn't need her to help with Stefan, I wouldn't care if I ever saw her again. So even though you _think_ you know what you feel right now..."

"I _do_ know what I feel."

"Still...it can change in a heartbeat and when it does..." Damon's shoulders sagged with the weight of defeat. His struggle was palpable. "...bottom line, Elena, you and I both know it'll always be Stefan."

Not for the first time, Elena cursed herself for having ever uttered those ridiculous words. But she had and she couldn't take them back. All she could do was prove how very wrong they were.

"Look, Damon, I don't have all the answers. I don't. But I do know that what I feel for you...it won't change. It won't go away. I've been fighting it way too long to believe it will. And as impossible as it may be for you to believe, Damon, you're a part of me now. If I've learned nothing else through all of this, it's that."

"Then, I'm sorry, Elena, because you've gotten the raw end of the deal."

"How can you say that knowing how it feels to be us?"

"Because Stefan was right. In the long run, I can't make you happy." Elena tried to reach out to him, but he shook his head and stepped back. "No. I'm no good for you, Elena. Because I am selfish and I will hurt you. It's what I do. And you know, you were right too. I don't know what love is. I could never love you the way Stefan can. So, I'm going to save us both some heartache and end this before it even starts."

"Damon, please don't..."

"Good bye, Elena."

He made it to the top step when a force stronger than himself stopped him.

"But..." The catch in her breathing, the tears in her voice pierced his heart. "Damon, I love you."

Damon stopped dead in his tracks while his heart thundered to life. His eyes drifted closed and he saw the future laid out before him. And just like that, the rope holding him high above the rapids broke. What he said, what he thought he could do, it all washed away in an instant.

In one split-second he made a decision.

Spinning back around, Damon was in front of her in a heartbeat.

Cupping her face. Gazing into her eyes. Compelling her to forget.

"You will not remember any of this."

His lips were on hers in a heartbeat. Demanding and frantic. Probing and penetrating so deep that Elena felt her entire soul being explored, there was so much passion, so much emotion conveyed.

Feeling like a lump of clay being melted and molded into everything Damon wanted, Elena vaguely realized that every inch of her body became like his second skin. But she felt it all. And wanted more.

Then something amazing happened.

An unexpected tear fell.

Slipping past tightly closed eyes, the silver tear made an errant path down Damon's cheek. And Elena felt it slip along her fingers as she caressed his face.

Any previous pent up passion melted into an overwhelming rush of love. The kisses slowed. And deepened. Even more emotion transferred from the heart to heart through lingering kisses. Caresses became gentle, tender. In her arms, Damon became a treasure to be gingerly sheltered.

He shivered against the shift of emotion. Then he sighed into the kiss. It was the sigh of a wanderer coming home after a long, endless journey. A sigh of contentment and peace.

The need for air pulled them apart.

"Say it again." The breathless request sent a shiver through her.

"I love you, Damon. So much."

"God, how I want to believe you." Leaning his forehead against hers, Damon's eyes drifted closed and he smiled as a world only he could see opened up before him. "We could be so amazing together. Just you and me. Without all of this craziness. I wish...I wish I could just...take you away from all of it and make this real."

"Then do it." Elena whispered against his lips.

"I can't. I can't because he's my brother. I can't because he needs you. I can't because our world is about to be blown apart and I need to be the one to hold it together. For you. For Stefan. For all of us." Damon pulled away, pain registering in his expression as if he could literally feel his heart being ripped out of his chest. "And I can't, because I don't deserve you."

"No, Damon..."

"Not yet." Determination filtered through his expression. "But I will. I promise you I will. Because you've given me a glimpse of the impossible and I can't not fight for that."

Stroking her cheek, Damon's gaze gentled as the promise of a future began to take shape between them. "So until I can hand you a world that's safe and secure, I don't have the luxury of living the impossible." His lips tilted in a slow, warm smile as his eyes sparkled with hope. "But thank you for giving it to me to believe in. It's what I'll fight for. It's why I'll win."

His hands slipped from her face as Damon took a reluctant step back. "For now, you need to let me go. As far as you know, we are just friends. Nothing more, nothing less. We never kissed tonight and you never told me how you felt."

"But Damon..."

"For now."

And with that, Damon Salvatore was gone.

Leaving Elena Gilbert to remember every word.

tbc...


	20. Chapter 20

Hey all!

Thanks again for the feedback and support! This is the Elena/Lily conversation that will hopefully put some fears to rest on not only the bond issue but also the Lily/Damon issue. Timeline-wise this starts out as a week after Stefan's attack, but then jumps back to the morning after. It may be a bit angsty, but again, hoping it's really hopeful as well.

Hope you enjoy! Would love to hear what you think! :)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

That Elena Gilbert would automatically go to Stefan, that she would be his consolation, his reason to pull through the latest insanity...well, that was a universally foregone conclusion.

When she had refused to see Stefan that night, and the next day and the day after, a minor shockwave rippled through their tiny group.

Initially, her defiant reaction was knee-jerk at best. With a bit of distance, some thought and hard-fought realizations, Elena had no choice but to acknowledge that she simply didn't _want_ to see Stefan. No matter how much nearly everyone claimed he needed her.

Was that selfish? Absolutely. Did she feel guilty about it? Yes. Was it enough to change her mind? Not a bit.

Because Elena Gilbert was tired. Of the lies, the pretending. Tired of being what everyone expected her to be. Doing what everyone expected her to do.

At first, her friends were surprised. They questioned her. Tried to persuade her. Even attempted to bribe her into socially accepted norms. And though they deemed her decision as not 'typically Elena', in the end, they accepted it with no judgment.

Elena had to admit they were right. It wasn't the 'typically Elena' thing to do.

But she had died one Elena and came back to life another. She'd lost ever major adult influence in her life. And with one vampire bite, her entire world had been turned on its head, spun around, flipped over and crash landed with some major bombshell realizations.

All in a matter of a few weeks.

Elena Gilbert simply didn't know what was 'typically Elena' anymore.

The things she'd learned since, the feelings that had taken her over like a force of nature converged into one pure moment of clarity.

And drove her from Stefan's side.

In fact, it had been a week since she'd last knocked on the Salvatore's door.

The morning after Stefan's attack, she had gone to the boarding house to find Damon and finish the enlightening – and, at the same time, perplexing – conversation from the night before. She went determined to tell him everything – from the dreams she'd been having to the realizations she could no longer ignore – in an effort to convince him of her feelings. To give reassurance.

To declare herself in no uncertain terms, once and for all.

Instead, she found her own reassurance shaken, and the path to Damon littered with more roadblocks than she'd ever anticipated...

"Lily?"

"Elena, hi." Liliana Castille answered the incessant, early morning knock at the Salvatore's door with an annoyed frown that instantly turned into a welcoming smile.

"What are you doing here..." A surprised Elena's scrutinizing gaze swept from Lily's curvy, towel-draped frame to the wet hair clinging to the column of her long, creamy neck. But it was the familiar ring hanging from a chain and nestling delicately against Lily's heart that caused a certain dread to slip around Elena's heart and squeeze. "...looking so very much at home?"

"What am I..." The smile faded from Lily's face only to be replaced by confusion. Instantly realizing the assumptions that could be made by her appearance, she self-consciously pulled the towel tighter around her and cursed herself for the addiction to blueberry muffins that had driven her from her newly acquired room prematurely. "I thought Damon talked to you last night."

"He did."

"But not about..." Lily started then quirked a wry smile. "I see."

There were times Lily forgot she knew Damon as well as she did. Of course he wouldn't have fully explained their arrangement. Not if he was trying to keep Elena at arm's length. Or blatantly push her away. And certainly not if he needed a convenient 'distraction' waiting in the wings to convince the world that he wouldn't move heaven and earth for just one Elena Gilbert smile.

Or maybe, given the weighty issues facing him, it had just slipped his mind.

Either way, one thing was clear: given his state of mind when he went to meet Elena after seeing Stefan the night before, and the way Elena looked now - exhausted, miserable, determined – it appeared that pushing her away was the current game plan.

Well, just because he'd chosen that route didn't mean she had to play along. She would not let Damon's little omission become a wedge between the three of them. Not when they needed each other for what was to come.

"Elena, Damon asked me to stay here at the boarding house while we deal with Stefan. We're pretty sure Katherine won't cause any problems, but just in case..."

"How...convenient for you."

"This isn't what you think." Lily hastened to alleviate Elena's obvious suspicions.

"Not yet. But give him a few weeks of_ that_ and it will be." Elena indicated Lily's near state of undress, her lips tight and tilted in a wry, knowing way. "Then again, that's probably part of the plan, right?"

"Plan? What...plan?"

The innocence of Lily's question pricked Elena's conscience. There was a part of her, a large part, that was grateful for all Lily had done since appearing in their lives. For saving Damon's life. For stopping Stefan's rampage. But there was another part of her – a smaller, substantially stronger part – that was wary of Lily's sudden and continued presence. More than that, she was leery of the influence she seemed to wield so effortlessly over one Damon Salvatore.

That fact alone accounted for nearly half of her restless tossing and turning during the sleepless night before.

Elena ignored the question and Lily herself as she pushed past her, a woman on a mission. "Where is he?"

"Not here." Lily bristled at Elena's accusatory tone and the not-so-subtle implications behind it. "Which is a good thing, because you and I obviously need to talk."

"Oh, really? And what do you think we'd have to talk about?" Elena advanced into the living room and cast a suspicious glance around as if Damon were hiding behind a luxurious curtain, or a plush chair, just to avoid her.

"I don't know. We could start with why you're so angry with me and go from there." Regaining her composure, Lily was beyond ready for this little heart-to-heart. "Elena?"

Standing on the Salvatore's doorstep, Elena had been prepared to fight Damon for Damon, but when Lily opened the door, all of the insecurities and doubts came crashing down on her. And the fight she came to pick turned to someone entirely different.

There a pause and a decision, then Elena spun on Lily. "You can drop the innocent act, ok? I know why you're here and I know what you're doing. What you've been doing all along. And I have to hand it to you. I would have never expected it to work so well, or so quickly." She tilted her head in contemplation. "Then again, you're not just some stranger off the street, are you?"

Elena's demeanor, her cryptic and thinly veiled assertions made Lily hesitantly curious. "What are you talking about?"

"Damon. And you. And how after only a few meetings, he's suddenly consulting you on important family decisions and generally dancing to your tune."

"Elena, listen. I don't know what he told you last night, but..."

"I know, ok?"

The vulnerable tremor in Elena's voice, the hint of jealousy and pain in her eyes, caused Lily to pause. "You know what?"

"That you were in love with him."

Lily tried to dismiss Elena's unexpected insight with a laugh that sounded hollow, even to her own ears. "In love with Damon? What could possibly make you think..."

Elena cut off Lily's attempt to divert. "And given how you've done everything in your power to keep him alive and safe, my guess is, you still are." She watched as Lily's smile disappeared. She drew a shaky breath, her next words a reluctant confession, as her gaze faltered. "I also know it wasn't just you. He was…beyond devoted to you. Even if he can't remember."

Color drained from her face, Lily swallowed hard. Dropping all pretense, her question came out in a pained whisper. "How?"

It was impossible for Elena's compassionate heart to stay stone cold in the face of a suddenly vulnerable and visibly shaken Lily. Not when she looked so much like the girl from Elena's dreams. The girl that had first stolen Damon's heart. The girl who, for some unknown reason, had loved him enough to let him go. Elena began to doubt her own conclusions, question her own judgments. In the middle of the night when she'd been tossing and turning, it had been so clear.

For there were two threats to her happiness with Damon and Liliana Castille was one of them. Because of the past they shared, the love that had bound them. The connection that was still apparent.

But now, in the light of day...

Elena's tone softened, but she remained guarded as she took Lily back to the night it all began. "You warned me my life would change. That everything I knew, all that I believed, what I felt, that it would disappear. Well, it has. As a result, I've seen things I shouldn't be able to see. Dreams, visions...whatever you want to call them."

"And what have you seen in these dreams?"

"Damon's past. With his family, his friends. You. Some of it doesn't make sense and some makes so much sense it hurts. Because now that I _have_ seen, now that I _know_ what I feel for Damon, I can't bear the thought of losing him." She took a deep, clarifying breath and prepared to challenge a love from the past. "So if you're here to get him back..."

"I'm not, Elena. I promise you, I'm not." Lily hastened to explain, trying to allay Elena's fears. "You're right. There is a plan, but it isn't what you think. I'm not the enemy here. In fact, I would very much like to be your friend."

With the strength and sincerity of Lily's denial, Elena's animosity began to dissipate. She gauged this perceived threat in a new light and found the prospects of Lily's presence in their lives less frightening. "I think...I would like that too." Her eyes narrowed into two suspicious slits. "But I don't know if I can trust you."

Lily took that for what it was - a challenge. "Then I guess I'll just have to prove myself."

"You'd better believe you will." Elena responded with all the fierceness of a mother protecting her cub. "Because this is _Damon_ we're talking about. The stakes are too high for anything less."

"I agree." An admiring Lily nodded her understanding then switched gears. "Elena, does he know any of what you just told me?"

"No, he doesn't." Elena cast a glance around, journals in hand. "That's why I'm here. I want to tell him everything."

The alarm that washed over Lily was palpable as she swiftly calculated the implications of this latest news. "No, Elena, you can't do that."

"Why not? It's the only way he'll believe me. The only way he'll understand that what I feel for him is real."

"There has to be another way. Look." Lily pulled in a calming breath and approached the issue a different way. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions. Let me change and we can go talk. Once I've told you my story and why I'm really here, then you can decide what to do. But first, get all the facts, ok?"

Elena paused to consider Lily's offer. Given her track record, she wasn't sure if knowing all the facts would hurt or help. But Lily was just the person to answer so many of the questions that had been assailing Elena since the dreams began.

So Elena nodded her silent agreement, then stopped a hastily retreating Lily with one question that couldn't wait.

"Lily, did you know that this would happen to me? That I would be this connected to Damon?"

"I knew." Lily confirmed. "I didn't know how it would manifest, but I knew."

"Is it because..." Elena paused, hating herself for even contemplating the question, but knowing it needed to be asked. Not for herself. No, she already knew the answer. But for Damon, who apparently did not. For there were two threats to her happiness with Damon and _this_, this was the other. "...because Damon and I formed a blood bond when he drank my blood that night?"

"A blood bond?" A dark eyebrow quirked. "What gave you that idea?"

"Stefan. Last night, he accused Damon of many things. Forcing me into a bond…well, that was just one of them."

Annoyance flashed through Lily's expression before she composed herself and offered up a reassuring smile. "No, Elena. I can tell you with 100 percent certainty that your connection to Damon isn't that." She raised her voice, hoping her parting remark would be clearly heard by any intently listening ears below. "And only an arrogant fool would ever insinuate otherwise."

* * *

><p>"If it isn't a blood bond, why would Stefan insist that it is?"<p>

It was the first question Elena asked once she and Lily had cleared the shadow of the boarding house. They headed down a well-worn path into the woods surrounding the Salvatore estate.

"Because he'd rather attribute your change of heart to some supernatural force than to admit that anyone, let alone his 'epic' love, could ever love Damon for Damon." Lily's lips tightened into a thin line, a clear indication of her continued irritation at one Stefan Salvatore. "And because Stefan's a liar and an idiot. Not to mention arrogant, and..." A staccato sigh joined the soft chirping of birds fluttering through the trees. "I'm sorry. I know that you still love him, it's just..."

"He's can be a manipulative ass sometimes?" Elena supplied without hesitation.

The shock on Lily's face when she turned to her made Elena smile. "You _have_ seen a lot."

"More than you know." Elena conceded.

"Is that why you refused to see Stefan last night?"

Elena nodded, trying to form a coherent explanation from all the jumbled emotions inside. "When he attacked Damon...I've never seen him so...vicious, and selfish and just plain cruel. You should have heard the things he said to Damon. And to me, for that matter. I didn't even _recognize_ him, and yet..."

"Yet?"

"There was..." Elena unconsciously deflated as she distractedly stopped to pick a few flowers that caught her attention. That they happened to be the color of Damon's eyes faintly registered and made her heart feel lighter. When the confession came, it was soft and pained. "...something about his actions that rang true."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, guiding Elena to a strategically placed bench overlooking a happily babbling brook that ran through the Salvatore property. She sat and waited till Elena had done the same, giving Elena her full attention.

Elena glanced over at her new confidant, wondering just how much she should share. Not for lack of trust per se, but for what saying it out loud would really mean.

It would mean the end of Stefan Salvatore, the dream.

Not that the dream of what Stefan once represented to her wasn't already tarnished. It was. And as such, it was a large part of the reason she could no longer be with him. Still, she wanted to believe there was an innate goodness in Stefan that would always guide him to the right path.

But she'd seen too much not to question that belief.

"In the dreams...he did things, said things, the way he treated Damon at times...let's just say that as shocking as his attack on Damon was, it really wasn't. I mean, yeah, staking Damon was a-typically Stefan, but the words he chose...the accusations? Those hurt as they were intended to. In fact, Damon used pretty much every one of them last night when he was listing all of the reasons we can never be."

Biting her lower lip in concentration, Elena's thoughts turned inward. "And you know what? If I'm really honest with myself, I don't even have to go back to 1864 to see it. The signs have always been there. Since Damon stepped foot in Mystic Falls, Stefan's always been eager to place the blame for...everything, it seems...right at Damon's feet, even when he isn't around to defend himself. You know, I can't remember a single time that Stefan's first instinct was to give Damon the benefit of the doubt. And all of that together tells me one thing."

"And what's that?"

"That Damon's better than anyone knows and Stefan isn't as good as we've all thought." At the curious tilt of Lily's head, Elena hastened to clarify. "I know it isn't as simple as I'm making it sound. I know they've both done things, bad things that have hurt a lot of people, and that they've also done good, but the last time Stefan fell off the wagon, I was by his side because I believed in him. This time?" She shook her head. "How can I be his reason to recover when I'm not sure I believe he can?"

"No one's asking you to be his salvation, Elena. He just wants to talk to you."

The emphatic shake of Elena's head indicated the depth of her conviction. "No, he wants more than that. He wants me to promise to be by his side no matter what and I...I can't. Not knowing what I know, how I feel." She paused, lost in thought. "You know, everyone expected me to sit vigil at Stefan's side and, honestly, the old me would have except..."

"Except?" Lily prompted.

"Except 'because it's Stefan', well, that just isn't enough for me anymore."

"And Damon?" Lily queried gently. "Is he enough?"

"Yes, yes, he is." Elena answered without hesitation. "I'm in love him, Lily. And it's not just because of these dreams. They only gave me the courage to accept what I've known for a very long time."

A gentle smile slipped over Lily's lips as her gaze shifted to the brook a few feet away. "Good. Very good."

Elena watched the peace steel over Lily's expression and came to the only conclusion she could. "You really aren't here to get him back, are you?"

"No, Elena, I'm not. Truth is, I doubt I could even if I wanted to."

"Why is that?"

"Because I'm not his destiny. You are." The bittersweetness of Lily's admission settled between them and they let it for a moment before Lily revisited a previous subject. "Tell me something. Did you think the connection between you could be a blood bond?"

"Not for one second." Elena answered instantly and adamantly. "But Damon does. Or at least he thinks it's a possibility."

"Because of what happened between you the night he almost died."

Elena nodded, her mind drifting back to that irrevocably defining moment when her entire life changed. "It was like were on an entirely different plane of existence. Just the two of us. It was electric and peaceful, all at the same time. I have never felt more alive. Or less alone. It was...incredible. Magical." Elena's words danced in her eyes, then faded. "Damon says he's never felt that with anyone before either, so the possibility of it being a blood bond...well, it's real to him."

"I see." Lily mulled the latest news, as if a few pieces of a puzzle were falling into place. Confirming what she already knew. "Well, as I said, the connection you feel to Damon, what happened that night, it wasn't the result of a blood bond, but rather because of who you are together."

"And who are we?"

"One soul. Two bodies. Some people would call you Twin Flames."

"Twin Flames?"

"Yes." Lily nodded and smiled at the awe in Elena's voice. "It's much more than being in love with him, Elena. You and Damon are literally the other half of each other. The same, and yet, polar opposites. It's like staring at yourself in the mirror. The reflection is identical, but reversed. Twin Flames are restless, lost, until they find their other half. And once they do, once they are ready for each other, it's...as you said...magical."

As foreign as Lily's explanation was, it felt fundamentally right to Elena. So right, that everything she'd been through the past several weeks suddenly fell into a odd sort of place. A place that made sense in a way and on a level that she didn't even know existed before.

She was stunned. Awed. Humbled.

"How you do know that Damon and I are these...Twin Flames?"

"Because I've seen it. Your future." Lily explained then hastened to clarify. "Just a glimpse mind you, but it was enough to know who you are together and what that means."

"Because you're the Seer." Elena surmised correctly. There was cautious hope in Elena's eyes. "And you're sure about this?"

"I'd stake my life on it."

"Is that why I've been so lost these past weeks? Why I couldn't really function, why I didn't want to?" She asked the questions already instinctively knowing the answers.

"Very much so." Lily confirmed. "Having a Twin Flame is both a curse and the cure. The best and the worst. Because your Twin Flame will bring you the greatest joy and the deepest sorrow. The greatest joy because your oneness is so pure, so complete, nothing compares. That was the peace, the electricity, that you felt with him."

"And the deepest sorrow?" Elena asked, her mind drifting back to the agonizing weeks Damon had been missing from her life.

"Because separations between Twin Flames can be brutal. Once you have found them, not having the other half of you makes living life...difficult. Agonizing at times."

"Care to share that with Damon next time you see him?" Elena queried lightly. "He just might reconsider his current position on the status of our relationship if _you_ told him all of this is real."

"So your conversation with him didn't go so well last night?" Lily asked.

"Well, that depends."

"On?"

"Which conversation you're talking about."

"What do you mean?"

Elena blew out a breath and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Well, there was the one where he basically told me we could never be together. And then there was the one he gave me his heart and hope for the future, then he compelled me to forget."

"He...compelled you?" That fact alone surprised Lily. Then the implications of what she just heard set in. "But wait. If he compelled you to forget, how do you..."

"Remember?" Elena finished for her. Shrugging, she shook her head. "I have no idea. But every word has been playing like a loop in my mind ever since."

"Ok, well, I didn't expect that, but..." Pondering the information, a picture began to emerge. It was different than Lily expected, but just as beautiful, just as real. "...it does make an odd kind of sense."

"How so?"

"Not everyone has a Twin Flame; in fact, it's pretty rare. And those who do usually have a deep connection that sometimes even borders on mental telepathy. Knowing what the other is about to say or do, finishing each others' sentences, that sort of thing. Though I have to admit, I've never really heard of anyone having the dreams you've described to me. So it seems that your particular case is extremely rare. But that may be because he's a vampire and you're the doppelganger or…"

"Or?"

"Or it could be part of the reason I'm here."

"And is this reason why Damon suddenly thinks I'm in danger and is pushing me away?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

Elena sighed wearily and pushed herself off the bench lost in thought. That was another reason she'd lost sleep the night before. Damon's elusions to renewed trouble, and implied danger, on the horizon. "So, what is it this time? Another moonstone? Another werewolf curse?"

"Actually, it's more of a cure than anything else."

"A cure?" Intrigued, Elena turned to Lily.

"Elena, there's a way to stop Klaus before he builds an entire army of hybrids and destroys the world we know."

"How?"

Lily paused. "You're not going to like this."

"How?"

"Damon."

Confusion flashed through Elena's eyes. "What do you mean? What does he have to do with it?"

"Just as you were the key to creating Klaus, the hybrid, Damon is the key to destroying him."

Elena's breath caught and her mind immediately raced to the most obvious conclusion. "He's...he's not going to be sacrificed in some screwed up ritual, is he?"

"No. No, Elena, I didn't mean to scare you." Lily hastened to reassure Elena. "But he is central to a prophecy that's beginning to unfold." Regret filtered through her expression. "And I'm so very sorry, but it's because of that, that I have to ask you to not tell him about the dreams."

Elena's refusal was immediate. "No. You can't ask that of me."

"I don't mean forever, Elena." Lily hastened to explain. "But right now, he needs to be trained. And for that, I need him controlled and focused and without any distractions."

"Is that why you're helping him with Stefan's recovery?"

"Yes." Lily nodded in confirmation. "The less he has to worry about, the less weighing him down, the more he'll be free to access the powers he will need to destroy Klaus. Your dreams, me, the past we shared, these are things he can't afford to deal with right now."

"But you just said that our separation will be a great sorrow. How will that help him focus? Wouldn't being with him be the very thing he needs?"

"Elena, Twin Flames don't always fall into perfect step with one another. Not immediately. Sometimes it takes time to be ready to be someone's other half. There's a push and pull, a back and forth dance that often occurs before Twin Flames are able to stand in the same space and embrace either other."

Seeing the resistance in Elena's eyes, Lily rephrased her explanation using a real life example. "Think about you and Damon. When you first met, you'd just lost your parents, you were in love with Stefan, you were trying to survive each day. You weren't ready for him. And now, as much as he loves you, Elena, he's the one that isn't ready. And as difficult as it is to do this, you have to be patient and give him the chance to be."

Frustrated by the truth of Lily's words, Elena sank back down on the bench next to her. "I love him so much. I just...I just want to be with him, Lily."

"I know." An empathetic Lily's voice softened with an emotion she couldn't hide. "Believe me, I know."

Seeing the pain in Lily's eyes, the sorrow etched in her face, Elena's heart went out to the girl she'd seen in her dreams. The one sitting next to her, guiding her through the minefield of loving Damon Salvatore. "I'm so sorry, Lily. This must be hard for you. Telling me all of this when you still love him. Staying away from him for so long. I don't think I could ever do what you've done for over a century." Elena blinked back sudden tears. "I can't even imagine being without him now..."

A bittersweet smile touched Lily's lips. "I have done this, Elena, for the same reason you will be able to. Because love isn't always about getting what you want. It's about giving that person what they need. And it isn't about all or nothing. It's about what they can handle. And right now, Damon can't deal with the emotional turmoil that comes with...either of us." Reaching over, Lily patted Elena's hand reassuringly. "That does not mean you can't be a part of his life, but it does mean you can only be as much a part as he needs."

"And how am I supposed to know that?"

"His compulsion, Elena." Lily suggested knowingly. "I don't want you to tell me what he said, that is between the two of you, but think about his words. He most likely told you what he needed when he compelled you."

Elena closed her eyes and let Damon's words come back to her.

"He needs to believe what I feel for him is real. He needs to know I'm not in danger, and time...time to prove himself. And he needs me to be a friend."

"Then that's what you will find the strength to give him." Lily concluded softly.

Elena considered Lily's words as selfish desires waged an inner battle with selfless surrender. In the end, surrender won.

Because in the end, Lily was right. Elena's love for Damon made her strong. Strong enough to let his needs trump everything else.

"Alright." Elena agreed softly, reluctantly. "Alright, I won't tell him. And I'll...I'll stay away. For now." Elena clarified. "But the second he needs me..."

"You will know the very next second." Lily promised.

But Elena wasn't done. Her eyes met Lily's as a new understanding formed between the two. "I'm trusting him with you, Lily."

"I know." Lily nodded. "Which is why you should know our story. Once you do, you'll know I'd rather die than let you down."

tbc...

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><p>P.S. So, unlike the show right now, I never intended for this 'bond' thing to be real. And this 'separation' of Damon and Elena's won't really last that long. Thank you to everyone who is still reading! Once this little bump is dealt with, I have some less angsty, kinda fun parts to come. :)<p> 


	21. Chapter 21

Merry Christmas everyone!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your reviews, favorites, and follows! They seriously keep me writing!

Sorry for another loooong chapter, but I wanted to get the majority of Damon and Lily's back story into one piece and there was a lot to get in. I hope it's a bit of fun and romance; I know it'll be a bit angsty if you like Lily. For those who don't like her, there really is a purpose to sharing their love story with Elena (beyond any angst it might cause with DE) as she continues to learn about love in this story.

Also, quick reminder. This story does not follow show cannon when it comes to the S/K/D triangle. So when that part comes up, I've kinda done my own thing while trying to tie it back to what the show has done. Clear as mud? :)

The next chapter will be Damon and Elena and hopefully the end of their major angst for a while.

I hope you enjoy it and would love to hear what you think!

**:)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 21<strong>

"I saw you, you know. You and Damon. In the dreams."

Elena and Lily had resumed their trek through the woods on the Salvatore property. With no fixed destination in mind, they instinctively veered to the right when a fork in the path presented itself.

In silent agreement. In perfect step.

"How much do you know?" Lily inquired, wondering how detailed these dreams of Elena's had been. How many. How often.

"I know you were happy together and completely in love. In fact, I've never seen Damon so happy, so carefree before." Elena answered softly, her heart aching at the memories that were not her own, but somehow felt as if they were. "He was so sure of you, of your ability to make it through anything together."

"Yes, Damon was always so…persistently optimistic." Lily noted affectionately.

Elena paused, lost in thought. Those were not the immediate words that came to mind when she thought of Damon, the self-proclaimed fatalist. It saddened her greatly that in his entire life, Damon's happiness had been so fleeting. That he'd gone from someone who believed that love made everything possible to someone who couldn't believe he deserved to be loved at all.

Oh, how she wanted to change that for him. But how?

Now that he was pushing her away. And especially now that her self-imposed distance was at hand. That thought alone made her question her earlier decision. As did her next. That Damon's only real happiness had been due solely to the woman beside her and that that same woman would spending time in close proximity to Damon...well, she wasn't quite sure how to feel about that.

"What else?" Lily prompted.

"Well, I know that…" Pulled back to the conversation, Elena's brows knit as she thought back through the weeks of illusive revelations. "…he'd asked you to marry him, and that he'd built a cottage for you, and...you were having visions." Elena relayed slowly, her gaze shifting to meet Lily's. "Damon knew about them, didn't he?"

"Yes, he did." Lily swallowed hard, that part of her past an uncomfortable subject to discuss, being that it was the very visions she had that tore them apart. "We didn't keep anything from each other." _Until the day I did. _"Which is probably why we thought we could take on the world and win."

"How does he not remember the two of you?" Elena asked. "Lily, he believes he was in love with Katherine for 145 years."

"_That _wasn't love, Elena." The harshness of Lily's reply only piqued Elena's interest more. "That was evil's twisted version of love. It's called obsession, and it was forced on him."

"What?" Stunned by the revelation, questions came quickly. "By who? Katherine? Did she compel him and then turn him? Is that why you hate her so much?"

"No." Lily shook her head, guilt and sadness pulling her lips down. "No, I hate myself even more than her for that."

"I don't understand."

"Then maybe I should start at the beginning." Lily stated, preparing to open up a past she often relived, but rarely spoke about.

In part because, in her solitary existence, there had been no one to tell it to. And in part, because she felt it was too precious, too sacred, to share with anyone.

Until now.

"I met Katherine the night Damon saved my life. Actually, we both met her that night. We were young and naive and neither of us had a clue what she was. For months, she pretended to be my friend, _our _friend." Begrudging admiration tilted her lips. "I must admit, she played her part beautifully - helping plan our rendezvous, giving us a place to meet in secret, supporting our decision to be together, damn what the world would think."

"Why would you need to meet in secret?"

"Because I am a Romani. A gypsy. Back then, even some today, are considered social outcasts. In a time when slavery was common, the only thing that kept many of us from being in chains ourselves was the fact we never stayed in one place too long. As it is part of our culture that we usually don't mix with outsiders, we are primarily a self-contained people. We make our own food and clothes, have our languages and wed within our tribes. It was quite taboo to entertain an outsider, let alone fall in love with one. And Damon, the son of a wealthy landowner, was most certainly one of those."

Intrigued, Elena prompted Lily with a suspicion that had formed from the dreams. "So was it was love at first sight?"

Clearly amused, Lily chuckled then clarified when she saw the look of confusion on Elena's face. "I'm sorry, Elena, you have no idea how ironic that phrase is for me."

"What do you mean?" Elena inquired.

And then Lily proceeded to drop another bombshell. "I was born blind, as all Seers are. It is how we are marked, how we are known. Not to say that every Romani born blind is a Seer, but those who are, are watched from a young age to see who has the gift. There is special attention given to their education and part of our discovery is that we only see when we are finally face to face with the purpose for which we are born. With our destiny. For some, it comes as early as nine or ten years, for others it takes half a lifetime."

"And for you?" Elena asked, suddenly feeling unsettled and not knowing why.

"For me..." Lily's smile deepened and her gaze softened as the moment filled her vision. "...the very first thing I ever saw was Damon's face."

Elena swallowed hard, the impact of Lily's confession hitting her with the force of a thousand boulders. "The first thing you ever...wow, that's...pretty..." Elena ran through a list of adjectives - incredible, amazing, miraculous - none of them quite matching what she was feeling. Fated, unavoidable, inevitable. She gave up trying. "...I'm not even sure what."

Lily noted the distress in Elena's voice, her eyes, and immediately knew the source. "I know what you're thinking, Elena, and you're wrong. You have nothing to worry about."

"No?"

"No." Lily reassured. "Just because Damon is my destiny doesn't mean that I am his."

"But...what if you're wrong?"

"I'm not." Lily confirmed, sympathy radiating from her. After all, if the situation were reversed and she was the one hearing all of this for the first time about the man she'd just realized she loved, she would be full of doubts too. "Look, Elena, I know how all of this will sound, but I've already told you, I know he belongs with you. I've seen it. And as much as Damon loved me, Elena, he loves you so much more."

Elena blinked at the confidence in Lily's eyes. She was struck once again at just how composed Lily was. "How can you be so calm about all of this?"

A wry smile touched Lily's lips. "I've had a few years to get used to the idea."

"But clearly you still love him."

"Yes, Elena, I do. That will never change no matter how much it hurts sometimes." Seeing the doubts and questions still lingering on Elena's face, Lily admitted more than she ever had. More than she'd ever intended. "I confess there have been times that I've wished I knew all of this before Damon and I had gone too far. That I've thought it would have been better for me if I could have stopped us from happening somehow. But most of the time? Elena, I wouldn't have missed loving him for the world."

She considered Elena a moment then offered her a way out. "Look, I'll understand if you don't want to hear any more of this..."

"No." Elena stopped her, courage filtering back into her expression. It was a courage that, oddly enough, she found from the woman standing by her side. "No, I want to know. I need to know." She took a deep breath and prepared herself. She had a strong feeling that what she'd already seen in the dreams was only the tip of the iceberg. "And don't hold anything back."

"Alright. Where were we?"

"You said he saved your life?" Elena prompted.

Understanding Elena's need to know it all better than most, Lily readily complied. "Yes, my family's caravan stopped near Atlanta in the early spring of 1864 to settle for a while, to pick up some extra work. It had been a harsh winter and my father's pride was not such that he would rather see his family starve than get honest pay for honest work, even if it was outsiders' money."

"Because I was lighter skinned than many in my tribe, not to mention somewhat educated, I could blend more easily into the crowds. So, I was sent into town to find work - churning butter, mending clothes, doing laundry, that sort of thing. It was about all a blind girl could do back then. It didn't bring in much, but it helped."

"Then one night I was heading back to the camp after a long day when a group of young men began harassing me. I tried to ignore them, to just keep walking as I'd been taught, with my head high and my course set. But they were ignorant and rowdy and had been out drinking. The more I tried to ignore them, the more agitated they became. They began taunting, pushing, grabbing me. I was one against seven and didn't have a prayer. Before I knew it, I was backed into an alley, fighting for my honor and, who knows...perhaps even my life."

"Oh, my God. What happened?"

A soft smile of remembrance lit Lily's dark eyes. "Damon happened. He came barreling into the middle of it all with a few punches, and a well-aimed pistol. Those boys scattered like the rats they were. Of course, it was at that point that I realized I'd been injured during the attack and was bleeding profusely from a stab wound in my side. I vaguely remember Damon picking me up, and taking me from house to house begging to be let in."

"No one would help?"

"Back then, people were incredibly superstitious and often afraid of their own shadow let alone the sight of an injured gypsy girl in the arms of a panicked soldier." Lily explained. "It took him several tries, but he finally found someone to open the door to us."

"Katherine." Elena surmised.

"Katherine." Lily nodded her confirmation. "She helped him save my life that night. Later, of course, I realized how."

"She fed you her blood."

"Yes. And then she compelled me...us...to forget that I'd been injured as badly as I had."

"And Damon?"

"Damon was...Damon." There was that smile again. One that Elena was quickly recognizing as reserved for thoughts of him. Soft. Wistful. Full of remembrance, and heavy with emotion. "He was gentle and protective and more invested than a mere stranger should be. He found out where I had obtained work and came every evening to walk me to the edge of the woods, where he left me with a promise to see me the next day."

"I knew it was wrong to let him. That it could be dangerous for both of us, but despite everything I knew, everything I'd been taught about outsiders, I couldn't quite resist him." By the dreamy look in her eyes, Elena knew Lily had been transported back to a time when the world belong to her, and she knew it. "I was...so enamored by him. Right from the start. His kindness, his sense of humor, his passion for life...everything about him fascinated me. Thrilled me. I'd never met anyone like him before, nor had I ever received the kind of attention that he gave me. Frankly, it scared me. How intensely I felt toward him in such a short time. And that he could know me so well so quickly? Well, that frightened me even more."

"Why would that frighten you?"

Lily cast a curious glance in Elena's direction. "You know how hard he is to resist. Do you really need an answer to that?"

Elena smiled knowingly and shook her head. "No. No, I guess I don't."

Picking up where she left off, Lily shrugged her slender shoulders. "So, I did what I was conditioned to do. What you yourself have done. I tried to deny what I was feeling and pushed him away. I did everything I could think of to dissuade him from meeting me. I told him who I was, how being seen together was borrowing trouble for both of us, how my father would kill him if he even suspected we were talking, but he just said that because he'd saved my life, it was now his to protect."

"Despite everything I told him he saw right through me and continued to show up every evening. I have no doubt that had I truly meant it, Damon would have left me alone to regret my decision." Lily chuckled suddenly as a memory danced through her mind. "In fact, I actually thought he did once."

"Why? What happened?"

"I'd presented him with a list, an actual list mind you, of why we couldn't be together. And then he patiently waited until I was ready to accept that what we could have together was so much bigger than anything I could possibly fear."

_They had come to the edge of the woods, where for the past two weeks, he had delivered a reserved and demure Liliana Castille safely, then parted ways with her. And as he'd done each day before, Damon gallantly bent over Lily's captured hand, brushed his lips against the warm skin then gave her a wink and a smile._

_"Tomorrow? Same time, same place?" Damon quipped, then turned, not really expecting an answer._

_After all, for the past two weeks, she had made no promises, had given no assurances._

_"Actually..." Shoulders squared, Lily called to him then waited until a surprised and intrigued Damon had turned back to her. Unnerved but determined, she pulled in a shaky breath as if trying to gather her courage then stepped up to him and presented a parchment, her accented voice soft and wavering. "Here. I made a list."_

_"Of?"_

_"All the reasons you should stop coming to see me."_

_"Did you now." Damon stated, his lips quirking at the corners and eyes dancing with amusement before flicking to the paper separating them. Curious, Damon took the folded page, opened it and read all that she'd written._

_He was impressed. It was a lengthy list. _

_When he finished, he silently re-folded the paper, stuck it in the pocket of his overcoat, tipped his hat to her and turned again to leave._

_"Wait." An unsettled Lily unconsciously rushed him, anxious to know his reaction to what she'd so painstakingly drafted. "Are you not going to say anything?"_

_Damon considered her a moment. _

_The flush of her cheeks, the uncertainty in her eyes. The hope. The fear. She was waging a battle with herself and wasn't quite sure which side she wanted to win. _

_Looking beyond the scared, dutiful daughter delivering the expected warning Damon saw instead the woman so full of untapped life and unfulfilled dreams. The woman who thrilled with silent delight as he'd regaled her with stories. The one whose lips had curled into amused and flattered smiles when she thought he wasn't looking. The one that often stood at the edge of the woods gazing after him, hoping that just once he would turn back to look at her. And when, each night, he did, she was the one whose blush and fiery gaze told him all he needed to know._

_He simply wasn't ready to let go of that woman. No matter what the dutiful daughter said._

_So instead, he complimented her with a smile. "You have lovely penmanship, Ms. Castille." He tipped his hat once more. "Good night and…sweet dreams."_

_The next evening, Lily walked home alone. _

_And the next. And the next until bitterly endless days had stretched into a week. _

_She spent sleepless nights of frustrated tossing and turning. Her days dawned to only darken her already foul mood. Nothing she ate tasted right. Nothing she wore felt soft against her skin. No amount of layers could chase away the chill that was settling in her bones. Though the sun was high in the sky, her world had somehow turned a solemn gray._

_As she sat churning butter, her mind drifted to Damon. His dimpled smile, his infectious laugh. As she absently mended uniforms and dresses she would never be able to afford, her thoughts filled with the color of his eyes, the way they danced and sparkled with life whenever he made a joke or tried to tease a smile out of her._

_All in all, she'd spent the whole of one week, completely and utterly miserable. And without the promise of Damon to greet her at the end of each day, she feared she'd made the gravest of errors by turning him away. It was a mistake she instinctively knew she would regret for the rest of her life._

_Until the day she was given a chance to right her wrong._

_Lily stepped out of the shack where she'd been assigned her day's work, her heart heavy and her expectations low. She'd taken three steps when she heard his voice._

_"Vivir con miedo es como vivir en medias."_

_Lily spun around, her heart suddenly thundering in her chest, her smile bright, her dark eyes sparking with life. _

_"Do you know what that means?" Damon asked pushing himself away from the side of the building, where he'd waited for her, unseen. _

_Lily nodded, unable to stop the breathlessness of her answer. "__A life lived in fear is a life half lived."_

_Damon took a slow step forward. "Do you agree with the sentiment?"_

_"Yes." Lily's dark head bobbed and her smile widened, despite her attempt to capture it between her teeth. _

_"And do you understand that to live a full life, one with passion and joy, that risks and dangers may be faced?" Taking a few more steps, the distance between them was closing. _

_"I understand."_

_Damon pulled the list she'd handed him the week before from his pocket and slowly unfolded it, like it was a trap ready to spring. "You know what's missing in all of this?"_

_Unable to find her voice, Lily swallowed hard and simply shook her head._

_"What _you_ want." Damon's intense gaze met hers. "If it's a life half lived, then I'll go away, as you've asked. But if you want..."_

_The rest of his well-planned argument was lost in a kiss that caused him to stumble back a step and took his breath away. _

_"I want you, Damon." Lily whispered breathlessly as she pulled back moments later to look into his dazed eyes. "No matter the cost."_

_The smile that spread over Damon's lips was slow and endearing. Victorious and bright._

_"Then these..." Damon waved her list in front of her. "...mean nothing." His eyes bored into hers, searching, finding, knowing. "While this..." He gently took her face in his hands, as a soft thumb brushed against her smiling lips. Damon's eyes sparkled like jewels as a slow smile spread through his entire being. "...this I would die for."_

"I guess you could say that's when he officially began to court me. Of course, we both understood what we were facing if we wanted to be together so we took our romance underground."

"What do you mean?"

"Everything between us became a secret. We didn't speak in public. We didn't walked side by side. The times we spent together were fleeting moments stolen in the middle of the day, or clandestine meetings at Katherine's, who provided us with carefully woven cover stories. And since we couldn't really be seen together and do the normal things that couples did back then, Damon devised alternative ways to show me the depths of his feelings. It was amazing actually how he could take the most ordinary things and make them...unforgettable."

"Like what?"

"Like..." Lily thought a moment, then brightened with an example. "...flowers, for instance. He could never give me a bouquet that I could proudly display because it would generate too many questions from my father, my brothers. So, he gave me a garden instead."

"A garden?"

"It wasn't really mine of course, but every time I walked by it I remembered what he said to me the day he took me there."

_"Psst. Psst."_

_Lily's head snapped up at the now familiar sound. It had been three weeks since she'd declared herself. Each day had brought more happiness than the last. Because of Damon and the spontaneous moments he conjured. _

_Smiling, Damon waved at her from the window, motioning her to come outside._

_Lily glanced at the stern matronly supervisor that oversaw the laundry shop and shook her head, indicating now was not a good time for a break. Miss Potter had been on a rampage and the girls of the laundry had made a solemn pact not to further poke the beast. Lily shooed Damon away then returned to her duty of scrubbing and rinsing. _

_"Psst. Lils." Gaining her attention once more, he held up his hand, fingers spread and mouthed, "Five minutes. I promise." When she made no move to join him, Damon's smile morphed into a determined line as he once again mouthed his intentions, complete with appropriate hand gestures. "One, two, three...I'm coming in."_

_Knowing full well Damon Salvatore was not above carrying out his own threats, Lily sighed her acquiescence, gained Miss Potter's reluctant permission to slip out of work on the pretext of needing an excursion to the outhouse and met Damon at the corner of the building._

_"You crazy fool. You're going to get me into trouble." Lily whispered her mock irritation against lips that had just set hers on fire. When Damon merely chuckled, Lily growled her impatience. "Well, what it is? What's so important it couldn't wait?"_

_"A surprise." Damon handed her a blindfold. "Here. Put this on." _

_"Damon..."_

_"It'll be worth it." Damon winked. "I promise." Once the blindfold was in place, he planted a solid kiss on her lips, grabbed her hand and led her carefully through a few back alleys and to the side of a stately manor not far from the edge of town. They were sheltered from view by the thick shrubbery lining a gated, square shaped garden full of glorious roses, sculptured shrubs and luscious wildflowers. _

_"You can open your eyes now." Damon whispered in her ear after removing her blindfold._

_Lily blinked against the sun and made an obvious observation. "It's...a garden."_

_"Prettiest one in town."_

_"But..."_

_"Has won several awards from what I hear."_

_"Yes, but..."_

_"It's yours."_

_Confusion clouded her eyes. "Really? Because I would think it's Mrs. Butler's as it is clearly on Mrs. Butler's property and contains her prized roses."_

_"Oh, Lils." Damon chuckled as he turned his laughing eyes on her. "My sweet, naive one. Don't you know it doesn't matter who owns the property a garden is on if the flowers themselves have been coaxed into an agreement with another?"_

_She tried, and somehow managed, to keep a somewhat stern expression on her face. "Are you saying this particular garden has done such a thing?"_

_"Indeed, I am."_

_"And who coaxed them?"_

_"Me, you silly goose." Damon quipped, playfully tweaking her nose._

_A dark eyebrow rose in challenge. "And what exactly has the garden agreed to do?"_

_"Why...exist for you, of course." A grinning Damon declared with flare. "Now, it does demand a bit of work on your part."_

_"Oh? And what must I do to have it exist for me?"_

_"It's simple really." Turning her to face the garden, Damon wrapped his entire being around her. His arms at her waist, his chin on her shoulder, his warmth caressing her skin and melting into her bones. "Every time you walk by, you must look at the garden and think of me."_

_"And by doing this the garden will..." Leaning back against him, Lily let her fingers link through his as she prompted him softly as if trying not to disturb the butterflies landing so delicately on a nearby hydrangea bush. _

_"Remind you that every flower holds a thought of you. Every petal a caress. And in each vibrant color lives a promise that one day we will have our own garden. One day, we will live as one, free and open to be the love we feel..." _

"And that was just the beginning." Lily's smile widened. "He would leave coded messages for me in a mural he painted on the side of a building I passed each day to work. Messages that let me know when it was safe to meet at Katherine's for an hour, or if we were really lucky, maybe even two. Or just to let me know he was thinking of me."

Surprised by all the new information filling in the blanks of Damon's past, Elena couldn't help but ask, "Damon can paint?"

"Oh, yes. He's quite good." Lily confirmed. "And he's a talented musician as well. A fact I learned when he spontaneously wrote me a song one evening. It became our signal of sorts. Every time I heard him whistle that tune, I knew where I was to meet him."

"I...I had no idea."

"Well, how could you? It's a part of himself that he's hidden for years."

"But why would he do that?"

"Because artists of all types - painters, poets, musicians - lay themselves bare emotionally when they experience their art. And, as you know, Damon flipped the switch long ago and only recently found his heart again. And that, Elena..." Lily's warm gaze settled on the young woman walking by her side. "...is because of you."

A sense of pride welled up in Elena's heart as a slow smile lit her from the inside out. Suddenly, all of the doubts and fears that had assailed her began to shift and fade. And hope rose up to fill their place.

She would find a way to get to him. No matter what. She'd come too far not to.

"How did it all go wrong?" Elena suddenly asked.

The smile slipped from Lily's face and in it's place was a sadness so deep, Elena regretted the question.

"Lily, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."

"No." Lily stopped Elena's apology with a brave smile. "No, don't be sorry. You need to know."

She paused a moment and looked around, realizing they had nearly come full circle. Not yet ready to go back to the boarding house, Lily sought a different refuge. Within moments, another bench presented itself and Lily broke off of the main path to settle into the stone curve, grateful for it's support. She waited for Elena to join her before beginning the final chapter of her tale.

"We had a plan. We were going to run away together, go to Savannah and get married. Katherine knew someone there who would do the ceremony without asking too many questions. Since we were both of age, we didn't anticipate too many obstacles on that front, but we didn't want to take any chances. Once married, we planned to send word to our families and then, after an appropriate amount to time, we would go back to Atlanta and start our lives together in our little cottage in the woods. By that time our love would be legally consummated, and no one, not even our fathers, could separate us. We knew there would be a huge fallout on both sides, and we were prepared for it."

"What we weren't prepared for was an unexpected visitor that showed up in my camp two nights before we were to leave." Suddenly agitated, Lily began playing with the ring hanging on the chain around her neck, her dark eyes clouded and distressed. "Remember how I said that Seers are discovered when their blindness disappears?" Lily waited for the nod of Elena's head. "Well, news of my sudden sight had reached the Vanguard, a small group of counselors who are meant to guide a Seer's training. They had come to take me away and made it very clear that I had no choice in the matter."

"What? But how could they just take you without your consent?"

"They are very powerful people." Lily commented softly, her gaze distant and hard. Her lips, tight with a disdain that filtered through her voice. "Of course, I refused to go. I didn't care about destinies or prophecies or this...Vanguard. All I cared about, all I wanted...was to become Damon's wife."

Lily swallowed hard, as her gaze faltered hiding the tears that were starting to gather in her eyes. Heart breaking all over again at what she knew was to come, Lily couldn't find her voice.

"It's ok." Elena soothed as she reached over and covered Lily's hand with her own. "Take your time."

Lily nodded and offered Elena a grateful smile. She pulled in a ragged breath and blinked back the tears. After a few moments, she continued, more in control of her feelings.

"The next day I tried to find Damon, to tell him what was happening, but he was out running errands, making plans for our departure. As he'd already left the Army, I had no way of getting in touch with him except through Katherine. He'd moved into her place for his last remaining days in Atlanta, so I stopped there and told her that I needed to see him, that it was urgent and he should meet me at our cottage at midnight."

"Instead of staying awake as usual when I had plans to meet Damon, that night, I fell into a deep sleep and had a vision that was so terrifying that I immediately ran to Aryiola, the oldest sage in our tribe. She'd often guided me as a child and I trusted her wisdom, her honesty. I told her everything I had seen in the vision and asked her the meaning of it all. It was then that I found out my true destiny. And Damon's."

"After that, things got very confusing, very quickly. You see, the Vanguard had been watching me the entire time. And listening. I was told I had a decision to make - either embrace my destiny and let Damon go or meet him and watch him die."

"Oh, God. Lily, that's...that's..."

"An impossible choice." Lily finished for Elena, her voice thick with emotion. "I know."

"What was the vision?"

"Damon was on a path with a fork in the road. On one lane, there I stood, waiting for him with open arms. On the other...was you. Of course, at the time, I knew nothing of doppelgangers or that one day there would be a girl that was identical to the friend I already knew..."

Horrified realization hit Elena. "Katherine. You thought the girl on the path was Katherine."

"I gave him up because I believed it. Because to do anything else would result in his death. And I would rather have him alive and with someone else than dead in my arms. For you see, that was end result of my vision. For choosing me on that path, Damon lost his life. Over and over, that image haunted me until I chose to let him go." Shaking her head, Lily's lips began to quiver as tears coated her voice. "They didn't even give me a chance to send word. I was packed into a caravan within an hour, each turn of the wheels taking me further and further away from him."

"For two days we travelled. And for two days, I tortured myself with thoughts of him, of how he would think I'd abandoned him, that I no longer loved him. I tried to figure out how I could reach him, how to tell him,if I should even try. I didn't even know where I was. The difficulties of breaking free seemed insurmountable." Lily paused her rush of words and wiped away a tear that has slipped down her cheek.

"And then, a miracle happened. I had a another vision. A path that would lead me straight to Damon appeared to me so clearly, so vividly. I took it as a sign that I should fight my way back to him. And so I did." Sniffing back the tears that refused to die, Lily's gaze settled on a far distant past that still haunted her. "But it was too late. I found out that in my absence, Katherine had betrayed me, and Damon was already gone..."

_Lily pulled up a chair, spun it around and sat down. Her discerning gaze fixed on the face of the woman that had once betrayed her. It was a risk even opening herself up to Katherine, to show her even a hint of weakness. But after 145 years of believing one thing, she had to know the truth. "What you said earlier...about releasing Damon from your compulsion. Did you mean it? Was that the truth?"_

_A knowing smile tilted Katherine's lips. "Ah. I should have known it would be about Damon." _

_Disgusted with herself for even giving this a try, Lily started to stand. "You know what? Just forget it."_

_"Yes." _

_The answer stopped Lily in her tracks. Her eyes met Katherine's and in the moment she knew Katherine was indeed telling the truth._

_"Yes, I released him. He was free to follow his heart."_

_Lily slowly sank back down onto the chair and leaned forward. "Tell me then. What exactly happened back in 1864?"_

_"You know what happened."_

_"Yes. Damon and I were in love, we were planning on eloping, then you decided you wanted him for yourself."_

_"Well, that's certainly one version." Katherine smirked. "I seem to recall you abandoning him. In fact, as I remember it, you disappeared without a word... "_

_"That was not my choice. I was forced to leave. That's why I fought my way back to him. But you'd wasted no time in making your move, even though you knew I was in trouble. By the time I returned, he was already back in Mystic Falls and under your compulsion." Barely checked anger was seeping through Lily's every word. "Why did you do it?"_

_"Why wouldn't I?" Katherine chuckled. "What you and Damon had was real. After years of watching humans destroy each other with their lies and betrayals, you two gave me hope there was still something pure in this world. I may have turned it all off centuries ago, but even I recognize true love when I see it. So, yes, I wanted it for myself. And at the first opportunity, I took it. I took him. I had no idea you would make it so easy for me." A harsh chuckle broke the silence. "You were so naive, so trusting. Leaving him alone with me, hours on end. Did you never doubt his loyalty to you? Or wonder what we could be doing together behind your back?" _

_Lily's chin lifted defiantly. "No. I didn't. Because _he_ loved _me_. And you were my friend."_

_Lily's confidence deflated Katherine's hubris and prompted a grudging confession. "Well, you were right about _him_ at least. I did everything I could to tempt him, sans compulsion. All he could think about, talk about, was you." Katherine paused, lost in thought. "Truth is, even under compulsion, he was never completely mine. There was always a part of him that was elsewhere. I can only assume it was because of you."_

_"Is that why you let him go?"_

_"In part."_

_"Why else?"_

_"I met Stefan. And he loved me, no compulsion required."_

_"I should have known like would take to like." Lily's insult bounced off of Katherine without injury. "If you found what you wanted in Stefan, why did you still feed from Damon? And he from you?"_

_"Because by the time I realized that what I had with Stefan was real, the game had already begun." Katherine's lips tilted in a knowing smirk. "The boys played so nicely with each other, no vampire in her right mind could have resisted."_

_"Right. I forgot to figure your mental instability in all of this." Disgust took over Lily's expression. "What happened then?"_

_"All hell broke lose. The Mystic Falls Council attacked and I had a decision to make. Stefan, Damon or both."_

_"You chose Stefan."_

_"And let Damon go."_

_"But it backfired because he was killed in the raid."_

_"Actually, no." Relishing the new information she was giving Lily, Katherine practically purred her answer. "He was very much alive the last time I saw him. In fact, releasing him and watching him walk away was the only redeeming thing I'd done in...centuries. I told him everything I knew, Lily. He was going back to Atlanta to find you. I hoped he would. I truly did. But, I guess it just wasn't meant to be."_

_Lily bit back a caustic retort and focused. "If he didn't die that night with Stefan, how did he turn?"_

_"That's a question I've asked myself a thousand times. Along with why he was so obsessed with me all of these years."_

_"And?"_

_"There's only one thing that makes any sense. One person actually."_

_"Who?"_

_"Lexi."_

_"Lexi? But why would she have turned Damon?"_

_"For insurance."_

_"Insurance. For what?" _

_"Not for what. For who."_

_"Klaus?"_

_"What better way to keep tabs on the doppelganger that got away than to compel a newbie vampire into thinking she was his one great love? It was quite clever really. By attaching the love he felt for you to me, Lexi ensured a constant vigil over my resting place until it was time to resurrect me. The only flaw in her plan? No one ever knew that I'd found my way out of the tomb before it was sealed. And poor, obsessed Damon spent the last 145 years of his life pining away for a girl he never really loved."_

tbc...

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><p>p.s. The Spanish line that Damon quotes to Lily is from the movie Strictly Ballroom, but is also supposed to be an old Spanish proverb. I just wanted to be sure to credit it properly.<p> 


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey all!**

**Happy New Year! Thank you all so very much for the feedback, follows, favorites, etc. You guys are awesome and help keep me writing!**

**This chapter is laying a bit more ground work on the taking on Klaus plot, and is very Damon/Lily-centric. ****Damon and Elena are up next chapter with a very important heart to heart conversation. :)**

**Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think! **

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><p><strong>Chapter 22<strong>

It was with raw nerves and tasked patience that Lily met up with Damon for a late lunch at the Mystic Grille, per his request.

The morning's talk with Elena had taken an emotional toll on Lily that she simply hadn't expected. Then again, it wasn't every day she got to tell the love of Damon's life about the love of hers. In fact, it had been over a century since she'd last told the tale. The effect on her had been much more severe back then. So in some small way, she took comfort in that.

While she didn't regret telling Elena, she hadn't planned on doing so this early in the game. Elena's unexpected dreams had forced her hand and drudged up a lot that she'd tried to keep buried for so long. She was struck once again with just how difficult it was to do the right thing sometimes. And how much harder it was to keep doing it.

Like sacrificing her own heart.

Over and over...

Like giving Damon up for a greater good.

...and over again.

Damon was in a dimly-lit corner booth, far from prying eyes and ears. Though, in truth, the number of patrons consisted of a few day drinkers at the bar, a young couple on their first date and a family of four happily chattering away in a booth near the entrance. Lily found him easily and greeted him with a tight smile and few words.

After they'd placed their order, Damon leaned back and openly scrutinized Lily. She let him, knowing his curious, agile mind would surely have questions. And guessing that's what this little meeting was about, she was prepared.

Or so she thought.

Until Damon began an unexpected battle with an opening salvo.

"You know, I've been rethinking this whole...situation of ours."

"Oh? In what way?"

"I think I need a lot more information before I decide whether or not I'm going to be this 'key' that you so desperately need."

The only indication of Lily's surprise was a slightly raised eyebrow. "_Before _you decide? I thought you already had."

"I'm rethinking that too." Damon announced, shrugging nonchalantly.

Damon wasn't lying.

He had been thinking and rethinking and rethinking again ever since leaving Elena on her porch the night before. And while each time he'd come to the same conclusion, the path that stretched out before him was so dangerously shaky, so narrowly uncertain, he felt as if he needed some kind of clarity. Or a sign. Something almost divine to tell him he was indeed going in the right direction.

That he was doing the right thing.

And then there was the guide herself. Liliana Castille. A woman so wrapped in mystery and shadows, he couldn't account for this unexplainable pull to her. There was nothing tangible to connect them, and yet, connected is how he felt every time they shared the same space.

It was more than just an attraction. There was something fundamentally _right _about Lily that just fell into step with him, even when he felt so out of step.

That they had a past together was clear. She'd admitted as much. That he could guess the nature of it, was equally clear. They'd been more than friends - companions, lovers. He was sure of it. But the secret hows and whens and whys of their relationship and subsequent separation were guarded so carefully, he also couldn't help feeling disjointed whenever she was near.

It was like he was lost, but found. Broken, but whole. Captured, but free.

He had to know. He had to find out. Before he took the next step.

Though suddenly cautious, Lily's curious nature reared its head. "Ok, I'll bite. What do you want to know, specifically?"

"How about everything? From why me to how exactly am I supposed to do this." Damon responded, leaning forward, his intense gaze holding hers. "But first, let's start with how I know you and what you meant to me."

Lily stared at him a long moment, mulling his words, his apparent change of heart. His demand. There was simply no way she could tell him. Not now. Not after the morning's deluge of emotions.

And, more importantly, for the exact reasons she'd given Elena.

No, doing what was right wasn't easy at all.

Her gaze faltered. "And if I don't tell you?"

"Then I guess you have a lock, but no key." Damon responded, the threat of his non-involvement as real as the determined tilt of his lips.

Lily's gaze snapped up to meet his.

Was he testing her? Trying to see how far he could push her? How much he could get away with? Or was he really, truly not going to fulfill the role destiny had assigned him? After all this time, all these years, all that had been sacrificed. Would he really let evil win?

Either way, Lily didn't have the emotional fortitude needed to deal with the untenable situation at hand. Not that day. Not in that moment. She could already feel the tears gathering behind her eyes and coating her throat.

She needed distance. And she needed it fast.

"In that case..." Lily grabbed her purse and slipped out of the booth. "Take care of yourself, Damon."

Though her reaction was totally unexpected, Damon's reflexes were swift and unerring. He was out of the booth and blocking her path before she could blink. "Wait. Whoa, where are you going?"

A ball of frustration had welled up inside of Lily that she could no longer hide. It slipped through every word and flared in her eyes. "I get that you're used to doing things your way, Damon, but if you decide to join me in this, that's not how this is going to work."

"No? And how's it going to work?" Damon challenged, his lips tight, his eyes wary.

"_You_ don't call the shots. You listen to what I tell you, you learn what you need to know, you do _exactly_ as I say. _And_ you know what_ I_ want you to know when _I _want you to know it. Those are the terms. Take them or leave them."

Damon was taken back by the strong, chaotic emotions rolling off of the usually composed Lily. Weariness. Exasperation. Hurt. Determination. But mostly, fear. He must have hit a very large, very painful nerve with that one simple question. Which meant they were a helluva lot more to each other than he'd even dreamed.

"Those are pretty steep terms. Especially when all I want to know is what we were to each other."

"You may want to know, but you don't_ need_ to know. Because what we were doesn't have any bearing on what we're about to do."

"Then what the hell is the problem? Why don't you just tell me?"

"Because I made a promise once that I would never lie to you, Damon. And keeping that promise means sometimes I simply can't tell you the truth." Lily added. "And if you can't deal with that, then we're done here."

"I thought you needed me for this." Arms crossed over his chest, Damon's usually sparkling blue eyes were layered with suspicious gray.

"I do. But I'm not going to stand here and ague with you about what I can or can't tell you and I'm certainly not going to beg you or try to guilt-trip you into doing this. _You _have to decide if it's the right thing to do and if you determine it is, then you have to decide if you're willing to step up and do it. No conditions. No questions. No matter the cost. You and you alone, Damon. It's no good any other way."

"And why's that?" Damon's curiosity was clearly piqued.

"Because there's going to be a moment when you have to stand on your own, and what you believe, who you are, why you're doing this, it will shape the outcome of this entire thing."

Damon shook his head, his agitated words pushed out through clenched teeth. "That's too much for any one person. What if I...can't? What if I'm _not _who you think I am?"

"You are. God, Damon you _are_ that person. I'd stake my life on it." The conviction in her voice, her fiery dark eyes, shot him straight through the heart. "But I know you don't believe that right now, and until you do, that's something you're just going to have to trust me on."

"I don't trust easily."

"No, you don't." Lily readily agreed. "But that's what I'm asking you to do. What _I_ need for you to do." Lily took a deep breath and tried to calm her trembling voice. "And I know that's asking a lot, especially since I'm giving so little, but for now that's the way it has to be."

"So, listen to your instincts instead. Trust _them_. Because they're sharp and usually on target. And if your instincts are telling you that I don't really believe in you, that I'm here to screw you over or that you can't trust me _because_ of what you don't know, then we truly have nothing else to talk about."

"So, you're seriously not going to tell me right now." Damon stated in disbelief.

"No. I'm not."

"Fine. Then maybe you _should _go." Damon responded flippantly, not meaning a word of it.

"Maybe you should let me." Lily defiantly challenged back, an undercurrent of emotions welling up in her eyes, taking her words to a deeper meaning than Damon could understand.

They stared at each other. Eye to eye. Toe to toe. Neither one budging an inch. Each one waging a war in their own hearts, their own minds.

For Damon, it was whether to trust a complete stranger completely. To risk everything on her word and her word alone. Or to let her walk out of his life, move on with his and let the questions, and challenge, go unanswered. To know that evil would win, and to live with that knowledge.

For Lily, it was knowing how much to risk. How much to give in. How much to share and how much to keep hidden. If Damon turned his back on her now, all would be lost. She would have failed her life's purpose. But telling him the truth, laying it all on the line was not an option she'd been given. Not now, at least. She needed his blind trust.

It was the key to everything.

Seeing that Damon was unwilling to back down or move out of her way, Lily forced the issue by making the first move and sidestepping him. "Good bye, Damon."

And he thought he could do it. He really did. To let her walk away and take with her all of the trouble and danger surrounding her, the answers to all of the new questions raging in his heart. It shouldn't be difficult. After all, he barely knew the woman. And, after all, he was head over heels in love with someone else.

But then her arm accidentally brushed his and the resolve inside of him broke like a straw against a monsoon.

"Dammit, Lily." Damon spun around and grabbed her arm, pulling her to him. His eyes met hers in defiance, melted into sustained awareness, then lowered in complete surrender. "Sit back down."

"Why?"

"Because..." ..._for some reason, I can't let you go. _He swallowed the words that would admit what even he didn't understand, and confessed what was just as true and would mean even more. "...because I _know_ it's the _right_ thing to do."

She pulled in a shaky breath. "_My_ terms?"

Damon silently nodded.

"And your trust?"

"God only knows why, but..." Damon swallowed hard, his confused gaze meeting hers. "...yes. You have that too."

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><p>Once their food was delivered, Lily attempted to break the unsettled silence that had reigned supreme since they'd returned to the booth. Having lost the earlier battle, Damon was in an extra surly mood. Having won, Lily was determined to bring a sense of equilibrium back to her favorite vampire.<p>

"So, tell me. What powers do you have?"

"Powers?" Damon scoffed at the term.

"Skills. Enhancements." Lily's wry smile was the first of Damon's day. Somehow, it lifted a bit of weight off his shoulders. "Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about."

"And what? I'm supposed to just act like you don't already know?" Damon shot back sullenly before taking a sip of his beer.

"Humor me?" This time her smile was sweet and encouraging.

And in that simple question she wisely handed him back some of the control that she'd wrested out of his hands earlier.

He sighed his consent as he set his beer down. Despite the frustration and confusion this one tiny woman continued to cause, he couldn't help but give in. And he couldn't quite understand why. He kicked himself for the umpteenth time for letting her get the best of him. And then he kicked himself some more for knowing he didn't really care that she had.

She was still there. And, somehow, that made all the difference.

Because the sign he'd been looking for? She was it. Her faith in him. Her belief that his shoulders were strong enough to carry the burden Fate had placed on him. Her desire for him to choose to do what was right of his own free will. And her need for something very few had asked for in years.

His trust.

It meant so much to her to have it. It meant just as much to give it to her.

Whatever they'd been, they must have been one helluva duo...

Damon pushed the disturbing thoughts to the back of his mind and concentrated on the question at hand. "Compulsion. Dream manipulation. Super speed, strength, hearing."

"Can you leap tall buildings in a single bound?" Lily offered with a sudden twinkle in her dark eyes.

The corner of Damon's lips twitched in reluctant amusement. "Something like that."

Relieved that the darkness in his expression was beginning to lift, Lily continued to gently chip away at the frostiness of his replies since their confrontation. "What about the elements? Nature?"

"What about them?" Damon's brows knit in confusion.

"Can you control them?"

Damon shrugged nonchalantly. "I've been known to summon them at times."

Lily's interest was clearly piqued. "Really? Like what?"

"I don't know...fog. Birds. Crows, specifically."

"For how long?"

"Long enough to have the desired effect." Damon said around a mouthful of burger.

"And how much does it drain you?"

Damon considered the question a moment longer than necessary, trying to figure out where she was going with this line of questioning. "Enough that it isn't my signature."

"Yet." Lily responded, her eyes beginning to shine with an unspoken idea.

"That would require that I have a stronger diet." He glanced around to be sure they were still relatively alone. They were. He leaned forward and lowered his voice anyway. "Are you suggesting I go back to the good old days of snatch, eat, release?"

"That won't be necessary." Lily declared with a shake of her head.

"What do you mean?"

"There are other ways to harness the power you'll need to take Klaus down."

Damon took another sip of beer, letting the liquid slide down his throat as the alternative options race through his brain. Only one came to mind. "Aww, man, if I have to let Judgey work a spell on me..."

"Judgey?"

"Bonnie Bennett, witch extraordinaire." Damon rolled his eyes and rejected the thought of Bonnie with a wave of his hand. "Kinda has a serious hate on for me right now."

"Right, Elena's friend." Lily quickly put two and two together and realized she's need to speak to Elena about that particular issue. She absently dismissed his concern as she picked through her salad. "Don't worry. Judgey's not part of this."

Damon cracked a smile at Lily's unintended use of his pet name for Bonnie Bennett as his gaze lingered on her distracted face. She was clearly in a different world now. Thinking. Planning. Scheming.

How could he possibly forget someone so breathtakingly beautiful?

Damon cleared his throat and pulled his gaze away from her face, shifting his focus instead to a the food on his plate. "If not magic, then...how?"

"How do you feel about meditation?" Lily asked suddenly, leaving Damon wondering if she was answering him or not.

"Will it require me to sit still longer then ten minutes?"

"Yes."

"And concentrate really hard?"

"Probably."

"On something other than naked women?"

Lily bestowed a full-fledged smile. "Most definitely."

Damon scrunched up his face in disgust. "Not really a fan."

"Well, let's see if we can change that." Lily reached into her purse and pulled out a notebook. Flipping the pages open, she quickly wrote something down. "There. Now its on your training schedule."

"My...what?"

"Your training schedule. Here." Lily announced as she passed the notebook over to Damon for his perusal. "Let me know if you have any scheduling conflicts. We start bright and early tomorrow morning."

Damon glanced through the long list of items she had planned to fill his days and groaned. "I'm already an awesome vamp._ I _should be the one teaching lessons, not the other way around."

Lily chuckled. "Yes, you are quite impressive. However, even_ you_ have things you need to work on."

"Oh? Such as?"

"Your occasional recklessness. Lack of impulse control. Anger management issues. Shall I go on?" Lily catalogued his faults with tilted lips.

Damon rolled his eyes. "You turn a few people and all of a sudden you have 'impulse control issues'." He put on his best puppy dog face, hoping to gain a reprieve. "Is all of this really necessary?"

"Do you really want to stop Klaus?" Lily countered.

Her question brought their conversation full circle.

Damon grew serious. There was only one answer. And it came out in the form of a question.

"Where do we start?"

Intrigued by an earlier thought, Lily glanced around the Grille, her gaze finally settling on a specimen that was not only perfect for an experiment, but one she would need to keep an eye on for the future.

"So, Tyler Lockwood. Mystic Falls' lone resident werewolf."

Damon glanced over and popped a french fry in his mouth. "Yeah? What about him?"

"He's hot." Lily observed, her appreciative gaze raking over Tyler's well-built physique as he casually leaned against the bar talking to a blonde bus boy. "Sexy hot."

"He's _seventeen_." Damon's voice was laced with dangerous disapproval - and a hint of something else.

"So's Elena." Lily teased as she took a sip of water, her unflinching gaze meeting Damon's across the rim of her glass.

His blue eyes narrowed. "Your point?"

"It was _your_ point. I was just reiterating it for you." Lily quipped with a flash of a smile at Damon's disgruntled hrumph. Her gaze shifted back to Tyler. "Call him over here. I'd like to talk to him."

"You're not going to ask him out on a date are you? Cuz I hear he has serious drooling issues. And kissing him is just...eww...with the doggie breath and all." Damon shuddered at the thought.

Lily chuckled as her eyes danced with laughter. "Just call him over."

Ready to flag him down, Damon turned and sought Tyler's gaze.

"Not like that."

"Well, what do you want me to do? Send him a text?"

"Call him with your mind."

"Call him with my..." Damon stopped short. "I'm not a stop, drop and roll kind of telepathic. I usually have to have a real desire to reach across the miles."

"Then find the desire."

"It's kinda hard given he's the reason I almost died." Damon tossed his napkin on the table, a sure sign of his growing irritation at Tyler Lockwood's center-stage presence in their conversation. "Besides, it's harder with humans."

"Ah, but he's not exactly human now, is he?" Lily commented with an upraised eyebrow. She let that sink in a moment before prompting Damon once more. "Come on, try. Just once. Summon him like you would the fog."

Guessing this was something she wasn't going to let go of easily, Damon took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His brows pulled down as his level of concentration deepened.

Lily tore her gaze away from Damon to watch Tyler for any reaction. There was a split second where Tyler looked as if he was hearing something...beyond. But it was only a flicker of a moment, and then it was gone.

"Either I'm out of practice or he has a mental block because..." Damon gave up, sounding defeated. "...I can't."

"Not yet." Lily offered an encouraging smile. "But we'll get there."

"Why? What's the difference?"

Lily shrugged as she dug into her salad. "Maybe there is none. And maybe it's all the difference in the world."

"Meaning?"

"It just might come in handy when you're going up against a hybrid that's half animal to know how to contact and confuse his pack. Or him." Smiling proudly at her conclusion, Lily's slender shoulders gave a victorious bounce.

Damon sat back, stunned. The connection between the werewolf-hybrid race and his ability to control animals was so obvious, he wondered how he hadn't seen it before. A slow smile spread across his features as he watched Lily delicately, happily pick through her food.

As renewed hope surged through him, he leaned forward his eyes bright with admiration. "You have a plan."

"Nope." Lily announced with a grin. "But with you, I now have the means." Lily's smile widened. "And _we_...will come up with a plan together."

"We?" Damon questioned lightly. "What happened to 'my way or the highway'?"

"You know, even when it seems that it's 'my way', Damon..." Lily answered slowly, her own voice soft with renewed emotion. "...its still all about you. Your safety, your strength, your happiness. I just hope that one day you'll learn to trust that."

An honest gaze. A gentle smile.

An unexpected confession.

"Somehow, Lily...I already do..."

tbc...

* * *

><p>p.s. I don't think Damon would just blindly jump into a situation without asking questions first, and I've not really given him a chance to do that yet so I did want to address that in this chapter. He still isn't getting the answers that he would normally demand, but this thing with Lily is really throwing him for a loop. There is an actual reason why Lily isn't being forthcoming at this point - she's not just trying to stonewall him for the heck of it. Don't worry...the answers will come and Lily is not here as a threat to DE. :)<p> 


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